Memento
by Shine Q
Summary: Trowa tries to solve the mystery of Quatre's sudden disappearance three long years ago. As pieces slowly come together, Trowa finds that it is difficult to separate the several truths that lie within the clues he finds.
1. Part One

**Memento [Part One]**

The sheets were warm, so warm that he kicked them away from his already sweating form. Why he never got rid of the thick blankets, he didn't know why. They were just a nuisance on hot summer nights and they did nothing but suffocate him despite their warmth in the cold winters. Now he was awake, hot and in a foul mood. Bad mornings usually meant bad days and bad days lead into horrible weeks.

"...day marks the fifth anniversary of the alliance between the earth and the colonies. To celebrate this momentous occasion, representatives from the colonies will arrive on earth to discuss..."

Trowa shut his alarm off with a loud whap to the abused button. He almost forgot that he had a job to do that day. The Preventers thrived on those occasions that attracted the scum of every possible hole. As a Preventer, he had to make sure that nobody was assassinated and that whatever political views were discussed were done immediately and efficiently. He really didn't care much for the lunatic fringe.

"...identities of the Gundam pilots that until now have not yet fully been revealed. According to inside resources, pilot of Gundam zero t..."

This time he pulled the plug off the wall socket with an irritated tug. He was in no mood to listen to such claims. After so many years, he thought that they would have given up but until then, their blind ignorance lead them on the thrill of the hunt. Whatever made them happy was fine with him. He didn't see any harm in revealing his identity. He had nothing to hide anyway.

"Rise and shine Tro... just your buddy here with the morning call... have to make sure you're up and ready before the show begins."

Trowa looked at his answering machine, another one of the damnable devices that plagued his home. Duo had a bad habit of calling him every morning and although the phone never rang, the blasted machine took over the job of taking the messages.

"You better be up sleeping beauty. Une is going to have our hides if we aren't all there by six."

Trowa picked up the phone. Duo was honestly worse than the ringing in his ear.

"How could you be so damn jolly at 4:30am?" Trowa asked, his disheveled look coming up on the vid-screen.

"Three cups of black coffee, my friend. Three cups of that awe-inspiring liquid."

Duo presented him with a wide grin and held the empty coffee pot out for him to see.

"I don't think I'd want to see you before those three cups," Trowa commented while trying to stifle a yawn. He combed his fingers through his hair and tried to blink his eyes open.

"All the horrid pleasure goes to me, of course," Duo said with another grin. "I have to see all you lovely hunks in your most vulnerable and disastrous states... Hilde baby!" he suddenly called out. "Look! It's Trowa half-naked on the phone and glistening with sweat."

"Wha..." came the sleepy voice from the background. "What? Where?"

Within an instant, Hilde was next to Duo, still in her pajamas with her hair going in different directions.

"Oh hi Trowa!" she greeted and waved her hand. "Be careful out there today and tell Heero that this idiot over here didn't mean to blackmail him with those pictures."

With a flying kiss to Trowa and a peck on the cheek to Duo, she made her way back to the bedroom where she most likely went back to sleep. Trowa wondered how the two could be such a perky couple at the most ungodly hours of the day.

"Whoops!" Duo said and then laughed. "You can't blame a guy for wanting to take incriminating pictures of the most untouchable guy on the earth sphere. Many a woman would pay good money to have a picture of zero-one in nothing but his gun. Yeesh, you'd think that the guy was considerate enough to put something on before picking up the phone."

Trowa shook his head in disbelief. If it wasn't Heero down his throat, it was Wufei. The man just did not fear anything, not even the wrath of one Chang Wufei.

"Aw crap! I'll see you later Tro... gotta make sure Wufei's up too... don't want Une getting on my case for not doing my job. Ta ta!"

Trowa smiled faintly. At least his mood was picking up a bit. Moving toward the closet, he took out his uniform and some clean undergarments before heading to the shower for a quick, cold bath.

===

"Looks like zero-one's grumpy this morning," came Duo's sing-song voice as Trowa made himself comfortable.

"Shut up Duo!"

He looked up from his nth mug of hot tea to see Heero decidedly pissed off. He nodded a quick greeting before staring back down at his tea. The honey looked interesting when it settled at the bottom.

"Nope. I'm not going to shut up. I've got to make sure you're all up and alert come briefing time. Right Wu?"

He noticed that Wufei wasn't really paying attention and instead had his eyes closed and was on a world of his own. After their all day, late-night stake out at a possible arms warehouse for three nights straight, he didn't know how they would be able to function at 6am.

"I know that idiot!" Heero practically screamed as he pulled a chair out and sat. "What I don't understand is why you had to wake me up an hour earlier than everyone else. We didn't leave that warehouse until midnight so I would've appreciated another hour of sleep."

"Because I love you the best!"

Trowa sighed and fought the urge to cover up his ears. Their little spout was helping him wake up but it was also causing him a headache.

"That's enough zero-one, zero-two."

Lady Une finally arrived and on her arms were stacks of papers and rolls of maps.

"Glad to see you're here zero-five and thank you for coming zero-three."

It was times like these that Trowa wished that they had better codenames. The number system was getting dull after a couple of years. Apparently, when they had initially joined, all the better codenames were already taken, leaving them with a few options. Perhaps Lady Une preferred the number system to remind them of the skills they possessed as former Gundam pilots or perhaps it allowed her to keep a little bit of Treize's regime in her heart. Zero-three was such a boring name but then Duo's other suggestions were a little less than acceptable. Bozo was certainly not acceptable. That's when he decided to stick with zero-three.

"I have the maps of the vicinity and the surrounding structures. We've marked down any possible hide-outs and distances within shooting ranges of all the types of firearms listed under the sun. Your job is to decide what spot you should take to efficiently stop whatever assassins and fanatics are out there. There is no need to worry about any bombs. A separate team will handle them. I trust that you will be done within the hour since you decided to start later than usual. We will set up ourselves within the perimeter in the next hour. Work fast. The arrival of the delegates and representatives will start at 0800 hours sharp. Make sure you're ready by then."

She left just as quickly as she entered and all that was left were four men and an endless stack of papers.

"Slave driver," Duo muttered as Trowa began to unroll one of the maps. It was time for work and whether he liked it or not, he was going to have to keep himself awake and keep sharp for the next sixteen hours of the day. The most glorious thought on Trowa's mind was the idea of sleeping for twelve hours straight as soon as his head hit the pillow.

"Everyone on the list is a potential target," Wufei's voice permeated the silence. The other three looked at him, a little surprised that he was up, but more concerned about how they were going to make it work. "We have to cut the list down to the most likely targets and split it up. Let's get this over with. My bed is calling for me."

All present nodded in agreement as they continued their job, making sure that they would be ready before the hour was over.

===

"Three more delegates to baby-sit and I could drop dead on the first mattress I see. ...Forget what I said. I'm going to drop dead on the first surface I see instead. So, how many have we apprehended so far zero-five?"

"Fifteen including the drunks, loons and assassins."

"What's that? like one per hour?"

"Seems so."

Trowa adjusted his mouthpiece just to make sure that he could use it when the time came. It was getting late and that meant that there would be more people to look out for.

"If this little pattern continues," Duo continued. "There's going to be one more sucker waiting in the bushes. But then again the 'hiding in the bushes' scenario is getting a little old, huh? What's your opinion zero-one? Third level of the abandoned Leverett building?"

"That's too obvious."

"Hey, I don't hear you making any suggestions. So how about you zero-three? Have any guesses?"

Trowa didn't catch the last statement because he was busy following someone with his line of sight. There was apparently someone intent on causing trouble again. That same someone was moving rather fast before he stopped.

"Zero-three spotting suspect number sixteen," he said. "Zero-two, he's by the bushes to your left, five meter distance, standard rifle, doesn't look like a professional."

"Got it! Zero-five, we need someone to baby-sit his target. Zero-one, have you spotted his target?"

"Affirmative."

"Who's he aiming for?"

"Walta. Ugly politician. Fat guy with a toupee. Twice suspected of corruption. Got out of a felony once. Big fan of powdered donuts."

"Aww, can't we just let nature take its course?"

Trowa felt the urge to laugh at Duo's antics. It was always Duo's words that kept them sane on very serious missions that involved a lot of painstaking concentration. Where would they be without him?

"Stay focused zero-two. I'm escorting Walta out of here. I better not end up with a bullet in me because I'm coming for you right after."

"I love you far too much zero-five."

"Shut up!"

With the stealth Duo had always been known for, he approached the unguarded man with a tap on the shoulder. In the blink of an eye, the man was stunned, handcuffed and lead away to the Preventer officers that handled arrests. 

"You can leave the fat guy alone now zero-five. We've got the man."

Despite the calm that overcame the other three, Trowa couldn't help but watch out for more bad news. There was still a feeling inside his gut that was bothering him to no end.

"Zero-one," he said. "Who's coming out next?"

There was a pause before Heero answered.

"Darlian."

Trowa nodded his head although he knew that Heero could not see him. It was a possibility that Relena was going to be targeted. In fact, she was on top of the list. The show wasn't over yet. He kept his senses clear and focused on anything that might come up. He was pretty sure by then that the others were also on alert as soon as they heard the name. It was a fact that Relena was a hot target. One with such extreme views that came with implicit power was most likely to be a danger in the end.

A few minutes passed before Relena finally came out of the building with the last delegate by her side. While she was busy, her bodyguards for the night kept watch. So intent was Trowa on finishing the job that he stretched his neck for a bit. That little stretch was all it took for him to spot a figure perched on the fourth floor of the abandoned Leverett building Duo had mentioned earlier.

"We've got ourselves a rat at high perch," he said and took out his handy device to calculate the distance away the assassin was. "It's too dark. I can't see a thing. Is anybody within the range?"

"Negative."

"Negative."

The third response was missing because as Trowa looked toward Heero, he saw the other making a run for Relena, most likely to assist her out of danger. There was very little time left.

"Let zero-one do his job," Wufei said. "I see a cable that connects to the building zero-three. You think you can jump your way up there?"

Trowa looked up to find that there indeed was a thin line that if crossed, would get him to the target in no time. The distance wasn't too far up so he suspected that he could make it.

"Positive. I see the wire. Commencing."

With a high jump and a graceful landing on the thin wiring, Trowa walked with perfect balance toward the building. Another long jump got him exactly on the fourth floor just behind the assassin. His landing was almost soundless that the man did not notice him.

"Show off," Duo said through the communicator.

Trowa tapped the assassin on the shoulder.

"You know," he said in his usually cold and steady voice. "You're off by a three degree angle and your gun should be pointed a half inch to the right. Your shoulders are not steady, making it hard to shoot and your footing will cause you to slip right after the shot. You should have positioned yourself on the third level of this building. The fourth window from the right of the building would have been the best spot."

"Know it all," he heard Duo say again from his receiver.

Dumbfounded, the man stared at him in disbelief, momentarily forgetting about his mission to kill.

"Shut up kid if you don't want to be killed."

With a swift swing, Trowa unarmed the man and flashed him with a smug grin. 

"It was a mistake to go after Darlian," Trowa said.

"Kid, you don't know what you're talking about. I'd be crazy to go after that woman. She's got more bodyguards than the President of the Earth sphere himself."

"Really?" Trowa asked, amusing himself for the moment. "Then who were you planning to shoot?"

"Zero-three, quit being haughty," Duo warned him but he didn't feel like listening. Instead of arresting the man like he should have, he continued his inquiries.

"Tell me, who was it you were planning to shoot anyway? The building's practically devoid of politicians by now. Go ahead. Entertain me."

"You wanna know kid? Fine. I was after the rich blonde kid. I was after the Winner brat."

Trowa's eyes narrowed. He heard Duo scream 'oh shit!' from his receiver but he didn't even care anymore. The damn bastard struck a vein.

"Trowa, don't think about it," Duo's almost frantic voice came from the other end. "Get yourself together man! Time to go home buddy. Get him tied up so we could all go to bed. Remember that sleep-a-thon we were planning?"

Trowa had enough. He pulled out the communicator that was tucked behind his ear, discarded the weapon to the far corner of the room and began to pummel the man's face with his fists. He thought he heard Duo curse while calling the others for assistance but it didn't matter to him. The man was his for the night.

"Bastard," he hissed between hits. "Quatre Winner disappeared three years ago without a trace. Don't you, of all people tell me that he's in there. Get your inside resources straight before jumping into something you obviously don't know much about."

"Stop it! I get the point!" the man countered in horror from the look on Trowa's face.

"No you don't! Who are you to tell me where my husband is? Huh? Who are you?"

The next blow almost hit the man's rib before the other three came rushing in, all their efforts concentrated on holding their friend back. The rest of the Preventers team managed to take the man to the paramedics before Trowa could break loose.

"Get a hold of yourself Trowa," Heero said, once again ignoring the use of codenames as Duo had done earlier.

"Let go of me!" Trowa yelled before he was released from the hold of the three. By then, the paramedics had already taken the injured suspect away from the scene. They were quick. Trowa had to hand it to them.

"That was uncalled for," Heero continued, sounding as if he was the only one who could handle the angry man. It was a fact that he indeed was.

"Leave me alone," Trowa answered, sounding a little more defeated than angry. It seemed his anger was driven down, only to be replaced by despair. He used his right hand to trace around a silver band that was nestled in his left hand, nestled in the finger that was closed tight against his palm.

All of a sudden he remembered just why he never got rid of the thick blankets that were simply a nuisance to his bedding. Even after Duo's beer spills, several trips to the drycleaners and years of abuse, the blankets still smelled sweetly of Quatre.


	2. Part Two

**Memento [Part Two]**

It was tender, tender enough to be considered cooked and yet tough enough for an exquisite chewing experience. It was, as the Italians called it, al dente. The perfectly shaped, large grooved rigatoni was ready to be mixed in with the thick lamb sauce he was preparing. The smell of the onions, rosemary, thyme, plum tomatoes and nutmeg was enough to make anybody's mouth water. He would have began eating dinner himself but he was waiting for his guests.

Trowa covered the pot of his latest hearty lamb sauce creation with a lid. It was currently simmering, wafting its smell throughout his home. He suspected that when his door finally opened, he would be greeted with great enthusiasm. It may have been conceited of him but it wasn't really far from the truth.

"Dear god!" he heard the greeting, as predicted, coming from his front door. "Let me in Trowa."

He chuckled, satisfied with the reaction and lifted the lid off the pot. Before going anywhere near the door, he allowed the steam from the pot to travel a long distance to the door if only to irritate and at the same time entice those in waiting.

"I'm coming," he said and smirked when he heard the sounds of irritation from the other end of the door. He was getting the reaction he wanted. 

He unlocked the door and opened it to find his three guests in different states. Heero was as impassive as always, leaning on the doorway with a bored expression on his face. Wufei was just as quiet although his silence seemed to be more in awe of Trowa's ability to tempt them with his superb dishes. Duo, on the other hand, was almost frantic as he launched himself on Trowa.

"I love you!" he screamed in jubilation. "Please marry me!"

"What would Hilde say?" Trowa asked while trying to release Duo's hold on him.

"She'll marry you too. She doesn't mind sharing. Three's always better than two!"

"Get your mind off the gutter," Heero said as he effectively plucked Duo out of the tight embrace. "Nice to see you're cooking us something special for tonight," he continued before going in and hauling Duo with him.

"Look who's talking. Anyone who'd interpret it that way's the one with his mind in the gutter," Duo muttered all the way to the living room. Wufei just watched with disinterest.

"Smells immaculate," he said next, making sure to comment as well. "I'm guessing it's lamb?" he asked, coming in and waiting for Trowa to shut the door.

"As you suspected," he answered and went back to the kitchen. "Make yourselves at home."

"You don't have to say that twice... Heero, my good man, could you get me a beer?"

"No."

"Pretty please."

"Get it yourself."

"But I love you too."

"Too bad because I'm beginning to hate you."

Trowa heard some muttering before he looked back from the stove to find Wufei cursing and opening the fridge to retrieve the cans of beer the other two were arguing about. Although the constant banter was a constant source of entertainment for Trowa, he found that Wufei did not appreciate it as much as he did. Because of that, he ended up as the in-between man, the person that ended up doing whatever the two didn't agree on - the poor guy.

"I will staple both their mouths closed one of these days," Wufei stated as he left for the living room. "Tell me if you need any help. I think that my assistance here would be much more appreciated."

Trowa nodded and looked back at the pot. He added a little salt to the mixture before adjusting the flames to a lower setting and leaving it to join the other three. It had become customary for them to have each other over in their homes. After discovering their lack of enthusiasm for preparing meals and their lack of ability to cook themselves something healthy seven days a week, it was agreed upon that they would each take turns cooking each other's meals. Not all of them cooked like Trowa did but then again, anything was better than canned soup and instant noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Duo was the most fortunate, of course. With Hilde's love for fattening them all up, his turn to actually cook any meals was limited. Usually it was T-bone steak dinner, homemade hamburgers and fries and buttered mashed potatoes with whatever chunk of meat was being served when they ate over at his place. It was the type that usually left them running for the gym in hopes that the fat would not settle in. It was going to be a pain to explain to Une how they've lost shape over the years and that their downfall resulted from dear Hilde's capable hands.

"What are we watching tonight?" Heero asked as Trowa came in the living room. He found that they were settled in and that Duo was surprisingly beginning to doze off. The loud ruckus that was there earlier was replaced by eerie silence.

"Whatever's already in the VCR," Duo replied although half asleep. "By the way, what's for dinner tomorrow night Wu?"

"Some kind of vegetable to neutralize what you fed us yesterday," Wufei said, drinking his beer.

"Be nice Wu or else I'm telling Hilde that you're beginning to look a little malnourished," he half-said, half-yawned in response.

"Duo," Trowa interrupted, looking suspiciously at his sleepy friend. "I don't want to know what keeps you up at night... better take a nap in my room before dinner. I don't want you snoring on your plate later."

"So does that mean we're officially engaged?" Duo perked up.

"Shut up and do what the man says," Wufei said, exasperated.

"Yes sir," he said in a mocking tone before heading up the stairway. It was a little while after they heard the door close and heard the springing on Trowa's bed. The word 'heaven' was heard before Duo was finally silent, most probably sleeping by then.

Trowa settled on the couch and exhaled as if exhausted from raising his impossible child. He didn't notice when Heero took the remote control and when he pressed the play button to find out which movie was currently inside the VCR.

"...ike I already told you. I don't want to stir the honey in with the tea. When the honey settles to the bottom, there's always that good stuff waiting when I finish the drink."

"You're just a sucker for sweet things."

"I'm just making up for your neutrality... Trowa, why don't you put that camera down? You've been taping me all day."

Heero raised his eyebrow upon viewing part of the so-called movie and Wufei looked like he was ready to follow Duo up the stairway and into Trowa's room. It wasn't very often that the topic was brought up but whenever it happened, the two always ended up in a heated discussion. Trowa would state his beliefs and Heero would counter the other's false hopes with a more rational and reality-bound argument. Wufei didn't care to talk about it and neither did Duo. They were there as buffers, as the ones who stopped the fire. It was up to Wufei to handle it this time around.

"Been watching them again, huh?" Heero asked after a short pause. "So tell me, why wallow in self-pity and continue to torment yourself with those videos?" 

Trowa just sat and took it, nonchalant, as if the question did not concern him. 

"You've decided to act deaf too," he added.

Trowa sighed but did not answer as Wufei watched the conversation, knowing where exactly it was headed. He was going to wait until it was time to cut in. He might have easily slipped out of the crossfire but he looked more determined to stop whatever fire was starting. 

"Leave it Heero. I don't want to talk about it," Trowa said.

It was quiet for a few moments as the sounds from the TV speakers continued to play, the long since absent voice of their friend filling the silent void.

"Trowa put it down! Duo's going to be coming soon and we don't want him anywhere near that thing. Who knows what he'll do when he sees you with it?"

The voice sounded happy and content, just as they were a few years ago. Trowa closed his eyes, basking in the sounds that filled the air, the sounds that were false and yet were so close to the truth that he could almost believe in it.

"We're not going through this tape," Heero said before pressing the stop button and turning off the television. "You're getting delusional Trowa and that's the last thing we need right now."

Trowa didn't protest but he didn't open his eyes either. He didn't want to talk about it although he knew that Heero was planning to bring him back to reality soon. That reality just hurt a little too much.

"His records indicate that he's 'deceased'. Leave it at that and get on with your life."

Trowa's face was neutral and so was his voice as he stated exactly what was on his mind.

"Until the day you're forced to pry his cold, dead body off my fingers, I will consider him simply missing."

It was at that point that Wufei cut in to halt any further arguments. They were able to say what they wanted after all. It was no use going on when all sides, even himself who was still grieving and Duo who was secretly listening was feeling the misery of the loss.

"I think you've both had enough. Why don't we just eat dinner and then pick another movie."

"Duo was the last to see him, if you remember," Heero said, ignoring Wufei's earlier suggestion. He didn't feel like stopping yet. If they were forced to live with it then Trowa had an obligation to Quatre to do the same. "The last spot he saw him in was three hours later covered in his blood. Let go of it. There's nothing else to look for."

"It was two and a half Heero, not three," Duo called out in a muffled voice from the still closed door of Trowa's room. "Quat's going to get pissed off if he finds out you've been fighting." 

It was an already known fact that Duo would find any possible excuse to sleep over in Trowa's room whenever he came over. It was the room that held the little things that helped him remember. They all had their issues and they all had their own ways of dealing with it. The only difference was that they left Duo alone. Trowa was a different case.

"You better check what you're cooking," Wufei interrupted again, hoping that this time, Heero would listen and that Trowa would be wise enough to leave the topic alone.

"Fine."

Trowa didn't feel like arguing either but he was a little more than frustrated. He turned off the flames from the stove and opened the lid to find his hearty lamb sauce in just the right consistency and ready for serving. He retrieved the still warm rigatoni from the strainer as well and mixed the sauce in with it. Finally, he topped the dish with freshly grated parmesan cheese and brought it to the table where the plates were already set. To complete the meal, he took out the garlic bread from the oven and reached for the already tossed Caesar salad.

He signaled for the two to come to the table where dinner was to be served and climbed up the stairs to retrieve Duo, who by now they knew was already awake. He wasn't surprised to find that the other was staring off to the far corner of the room. It was a mistake to bring it up when Duo was within hearing distance. Without making mention of anything that might disrupt their temporary stalemate, he tapped Duo on the shoulder and motioned for him to join them for dinner. Duo obliged him and before long, they were all at the table.

Something still agitated Trowa to no end, so much that he looked like he needed to do something about it. Before Heero could even sit down, he approached him and grabbed his collar, their height difference making him look all the more intimidating.

"You know what his last words were to me?" he asked as he looked Heero in the eye. His voice was even and cold as ever. He didn't know why he was asking but he just felt like letting out some steam. "He said 'Don't worry about the ugly politicians, love. I'll handle them for you. Besides, I'm sure that you'll love the pasta I'm cooking you for dinner tonight."

The other two couldn't help but look at Trowa who had his steady gaze on Heero.

"Now Heero, it's time for you to sit down, leave me alone in wonderland and eat your damn pasta."

There was tension in the air as Trowa went to his chair to sit down as well. When all of them were seated, it was Duo's turn to talk.

"Trowa, you're giving me the creeps. I think we better resolve this before you totally go nuts. So, what else do you have to say to Heero?"

Although there was still the lingering anger within him, Trowa felt a little guilty. His lips twitched upward before he looked at Duo and then at Heero. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"Good," Duo said with a smile. "And Heero, what do you have to say to that?"

"I shouldn't have provoked you," Heero said immediately, not sounding warm but at least looking sincere.

"Our children," Duo said with a motherly tone as he reached for Wufei's arm. "Aren't they growing up so fast?"

"They'd grow up faster if their mother was more mature," was Wufei's retort.

"I resent that," Duo said. "I'm filing for a divorce."

Watching them content after the earlier arguments made Trowa realize that if it weren't for each other, all of them would have most likely gone crazy. Each of their strengths and weird quirks was what kept them together. They controlled each other in a way that nobody else understood. His only regret was that Quatre was not there to share it with them. Soon enough, he would find his missing husband but for now he was happy enough to live with what he had without giving in to hopeless despair.

His thoughts were suddenly diverted when he heard a gunshot going through his window and into his bowl of rigatoni in hearty lamb sauce. The first shot was immediately followed by several others. Instincts taught all four of them to duck and take cover. The table was turned over and none of them left their spot until they were certain that the perpetrators had fled. 

Ever since the Earth sphere alliance anniversary a week ago, there had been several attempts on somebody's life, which person exactly, they did not know. All they knew was that Trowa always seemed to be there at the exact place and the exact time. His home was starting to become a target for trouble as well. It wasn't certain why anyone would be after him. Out of all of them, he was the one with the least connections. They were going to have to find out why soon enough.

A few minutes of waiting and Duo's voice suddenly cut through the silence.

"No!" he screamed to the top of his lungs. "The bastards killed my pasta! I was dead hungry too."

Trowa stood from his place behind the fallen dinner table and proceeded to the fireplace. Something clicked in him as he lifted the broken frame from its original place. He took out the broken glass carefully before addressing Duo.

"There's frozen pizza in the freezer."

"No!" Duo wailed again. "Anything but frozen junk after smelling your cooking all night."

"...and I think I know who they're after," Trowa added between Duo's wails of agony. That was enough for him to keep quiet and enough to catch all their attention. They watched his back, waiting for the name of the target.

Trowa didn't say anymore as he stared thoughtfully into the blue-green pools that were looking back at him from the broken frame. For some reason they looked so alive, more so than usual. It might have been a trick of the light but he couldn't really tell. They were telling him something and he knew then that he was going to see Quatre again soon.


	3. Part Three

**Memento [Part Three]**

Suspected mobile suit production in the L2 colony sector G? Hoax. L2 had long been known to limit its finances on weathering. They couldn't even get their systems to work properly. Sector G? Where was that? As far as he knew, the G sector was wiped out during the war years ago. Besides, the report didn't even specify just what kind of mobile suits were being produced. Several factories were now producing the suits that were necessary to do repairs in non-breathable atmospheres as well as to serve as constructive apparatus for the Mars project. The report was submitted by one LV Murron, the same bitter LV Murron who submitted another hoax two weeks ago. The man was horridly incorrect, apparently inefficient and obviously bitter. There was no need to make any further action. Trowa trashed the report in the garbage bin.

"Why can't they deal with their bitterness some other way?" he muttered as he opened another folder that most likely held another few pages of false reports. He didn't know what was worse - being suspended because he 'misbehaved' as so they called it or being burdened with useless paperwork as a consequence for said misconduct.

"Are you even looking carefully enough through those?" 

Trowa jumped slightly to the sudden intrusion from his office door. 

"Aren't you supposed to be doing something other than bothering me?" he replied without looking up from his paperwork. There was only one person he knew would come at such a time and that one person was most likely planning to stay. He groaned.

"Nope. Done with that," Duo answered as he poked his head in and then entered the office. Trowa looked up to find him covered in dirt and smelling of coal. It was obvious that he'd been out on surveillance and that there was a lot of conflict, enough to get him dirty. Trowa was jealous.

"Don't look so smug," he said, looking back down to finish his newest stack of paperwork. "Just because this has never happened to me before doesn't mean that you're free to ridicule my state."

"Who said I was going to? Boy, but Une sure got you this time. There's nothing worse that sitting your ass down and doing paperwork when you could be breathing fresh air elsewhere. Hmm, but it looks to me that you're more pissed off about something else other than my interruption. Am I correct in assuming so?" 

Duo laughed heartily, much to Trowa's dismay. He tried to ignore as much of the laughter by humming inside his head. It was no use fighting back when he knew Duo had the upper hand. He was hoping that Wufei would come in and haul him out of there.

"But seriously," Duo said, this time sounding just as serious as he said he was. "What of our favorite assassin?"

"He's recuperating," Trowa answered. "He's recuperating and being uncooperative."

"I take it you questioned him?"

"Hah! As if they'd let me anywhere near him," Trowa responded. If only they let him near the guy then maybe he would have been able to get something out of him. It wasn't like he was planning on a second round of beating. He was the most composed one of the four and he certainly learned his lesson after the little stunt he pulled. Even if he didn't get it through his thick skull, there was always Heero to snap his ass back into place like he'd been doing for the past few weeks. So maybe he had been misbehaving... a little. He couldn't help it. There was something bothering him and he couldn't pinpoint the source.

"Who did the questioning?"

Trowa scratched his chin and trashed another stack of papers down the garbage bin. 

"Huh? Oh, some random guy. Don't know who. Nobody seems to be able to get him to talk."

Duo got a gleam in his eye and started rubbing his hands together. It was unfortunate that Trowa didn't notice the predatory look in his eyes.

"Maybe I should go over and meet the guy," Duo said as he contemplated an effective method of questioning. "Don't worry buddy. We'll be getting answers before the day is over. If Heero looks for me, just tell him you don't know... don't want him to get me in trouble. If it's Wufei, tell him to come over. He might as well help me with that mighty 'are you worthy' speech - freaks the hell out of anyone. Ta ta!"

Before Trowa could even open his mouth to stop him, Duo was already out the door and most likely on his way to the confinement area. He was now aware of what that strange feeling he had earlier was pointing to. 

Duo was going to get into trouble and he knew it. The last time he'd been asked to interrogate, he'd been suspended for weeks. Trowa remembered walking into the room seeing Duo's malicious look as he cheered on Wufei with his line of questioning. For some reason, Duo enjoyed cajoling Wufei as he played around with people's psyche to the point where one would admit that he or she was not worthy enough to carry out the evil act he'd been accused of doing, lest be in his honorable presence. He had to hand it to them. It was very effective but then it was a little too painful to the ears.

"Relena's joining us for dinner tonight."

Trowa suddenly snapped his mind back to the present to find out who was now at his door. It was strange to find people coming in again and again. Did they not want to leave him alone so that he could suffer in peace alone?

"Heero? Shouldn't you be somewhere else?" he asked, sounding disinterested.

"Obviously not," Heero answered taking a seat in the chair Duo had occupied earlier. Like Duo, he too was muddy.

"And Relena. You know it's a little too dangerous to have her over. I mean, anyone around me is a liable candidate for murder. We haven't found out who's been putting bullets through my house yet."

"Think again, Trowa," Heero answered. "Where would she be safer, in a home with four trusted and experienced soldiers or alone, in her home with bodyguards who couldn't even load their own guns? Trust me. She'll be safer with us. Besides, I've been asking her to come over for the longest time."

"Whatever you say," Trowa said and then continued with the stack that was in front of him; the stack that looked like it didn't diminish since he started working on it. He picked up his cup and drank his now lukewarm tea before looking up at Heero. "Shouldn't you be telling Wufei this since he's in charge of preparing dinner tonight?"

"I was just trying to strike up a conversation. Duo said it was hell in solitary confinement."

"It's not as bad as it looks," Trowa defended. He hoped that he didn't look as pathetic as he felt.

"Besides," Heero added. "I've been getting this strange feeling recently, like I'm sensing something. I know you're busy so I'll tell you about it later."

"Fine."

Without another word, Heero was out the door and Trowa was left again to work out the rest of the reports. He wasn't even a minute into the next folder when he heard his office door open yet again and this time, there were two particularly loud voices that filled the room. He asked himself again just why he had to suffer through it all and looked up to confirm that Wufei and Sally were indeed the owners of the voices.

"I'm telling you. It's not wise. Why won't you listen to me?" Sally said.

"I'll decide what's wise myself. The matter concerns him and I will not hide something this important," was Wufei's retort.

Trowa knew it was going to be next to impossible to interrupt just yet so he watched the scene unfold in front of him. It wasn't like he didn't witness the same situation many times before. 

"It's not called hiding. It's called protecting. Now hand me that so I could give to Heero myself."

"Why won't you just leave me alone to do it?"

"Because I was specifically ordered to hand all these reports to Heero without telling you know who about it."

"You know who? We're practically arguing in front of you know who. I see no point in concealing something that's already out in the open. Remind me please why we're even arguing about this."

"Because I'm going to be in deep trouble if he gets involved in this."

"He already is."

"Already involved in what?" Trowa finally said.

"You know I'm not taking responsibility for this, Wufei," Sally said before sighing in defeat and leaving through the door. "Act rationally, Trowa," she said before the two were left alone.

Trowa didn't say anything and instead looked at Wufei for answers.

"As she said earlier, I'm hoping that you're going to be rational about this," Wufei said and then handed him a folder. He just hoped that it wasn't another hastily written report like the ones he'd been going through for the past few hours.

"These are pictures of Heero without any clothes on," Trowa stated calmly.

"What?"

"There's a note here that says 'Wu, hide the evidence or use it for blackmail. Your pal, Duo.'"

"That's appalling! I don't even want to see those."

"I'm hoping this isn't the big secret," Trowa said as he put the pictures back into the folder. "Clever albeit a bit immature."

"No, of course not," Wufei protested before he took the folder. "That woman tricked me! I can't believe she'd do such a thing. I'll be back," he said and left quickly.

Trowa looked at his closed door. If his suspicions were right, Wufei and Sally would be heard bickering yet again. He applauded himself when, indeed, the arguing started. They were loud too.

"What is the meaning of this?" he heard Wufei bellow.

"Why don't you tell me what it is? I'd bet Heero would be delighted to find out that you're very fond of his musculature," Sally said. Even from afar, she sounded like she was provoking him into another one of his temper tantrums.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, Heero. I've got something to show you. Hurry up before Wufei spoils the fun," she called out in a sing-song voice.

Trowa didn't want to know what was going to happen next. He looked back down to his half finished reading and tired to concentrate. He couldn't however hold back the snicker that was breaking free from his throat. How Heero would take the situation, he didn't know. He was only sure that Duo would get his share of Heero's wrath when he eventually found out who the perpetrator was. It was only a matter of time.

"Duo, where are you?"

Heero's sudden arrival was unexpected and that was it for Trowa. If there was something that would take away his concentration, this was it. He put his pen down and counted to ten as he watched his door in expectation. It wasn't unusual for Duo to come running to him for cover considering that Wufei was not one to cover up for the guilty party.

"Eight... nine... ten..."

"Trowa!"

He smirked. He was right. After so many years of being around them, he knew exactly how things worked. What he didn't expect was for Duo to come barging into his door, pulling the other two with a big grin on his face. If there was something that happened within the ten seconds he counted, he didn't know. If Duo won them over that fast then that meant that he was getting good at weaseling out of trouble.

"You're never going to guess what I found," Duo said.

Trowa crossed his arms. He wasn't going to ask.

"Fine. Be that way even if this would be benefiting you more than anyone else in this room."

"What is it Duo?"

Trowa looked just as bored as the other two who were on either side of Duo. They didn't look like they knew what he was talking about either.

"I found us a dead ringer."

===

Trowa didn't know how he got dragged from his desk and into the confinement area. He was busy and those reports on his desk were not going to magically disappear if he ignored them. For the past few minutes, Duo had been telling them about his supposedly mysterious encounter that only made his attention swerve back to the more important matters at hand. He was in no mood to stall and was just about ready to bolt while Duo wasn't looking.

The sight from not far away was the only force that stopped him from doing so. From a distance he watched as Duo continued to talk, leading them into the room he'd animatedly been describing. It was one of those smoked glass rooms where the person on one side of a room saw a mirror while the other side was allowed to watch the developments within.

It was like seeing a ghost or perhaps a long forgotten dream. It was a mystery how he was able to move his feet and drag them close enough to see just what his mind was trying to relay.

"Told you it was interesting," Duo said, too excited to notice the apprehension on both Heero and Wufei's face as they watched Trowa. Their look of concern was lost to Duo, who by now was somewhere else in a world of his own.

"Isn't he pretty? I mean once you take out those geeky glasses and relax that stiff posture, he's practically huggable."

Although Trowa was not completely their either, he was conscious enough of his surroundings to nod in agreement.

"After having that talk with that unresponsive bastard of an assassin, I decided to get Wufei. You know, to do some of his magic and get him to talk and admit he was a filthy pig. On my way back, I discovered this lovely sight, talked to him for a couple of minutes before getting you guys here. He didn't want to tell me his name. I'm not sure he trusts me."

"I can see why," was Wufei's comment.

Trowa came to take a closer look. The man on the other end of the smoky glass was tapping his fingers on the desk, looking impatient and exasperated. He kept on shifting on his seat before finally deciding to bury his head in his arms which were crossed and atop the table. It was like watching a movie except that this one was live.

"I suggest we find out," Heero said all of a sudden. This made his other three companions look at him in question. Even Trowa had broken out of his reverie. "What do you think, Trowa?" he added.

"I think you know what you're talking about," Trowa answered and looked at Duo for assistance. "I'm sure you know of more than one way to find the answers we're looking for," he said.

"Oh yeah!" Duo answered in an excited voice. "Wu, since I caused you trouble this morning, I'm letting you choose - subtle or outright?"

"I don't know if being outright would be good," Wufei said and then smirked. "I think being subtle will be more appropriate."

"You heard it from the man himself," Duo proclaimed before unlocking the door and twisting the knob.

The current occupant of the room suddenly made a jump for the closest weapon available which to his dismay was a chair - a heavy chair he couldn't lift off the ground.

"Don't come any closer or I'll hit you," he said.

"Ooh, try hitting him," Duo said while pointing to Heero. "This guy won't even flinch if you beat him up with it."

"Who are you people?" was the nervous response from their newest target. 

Trowa's eyes narrowed in suspicion. There was something not right about their encounter. He was starting to get uneasy. He pushed Duo forward to get on with it quicker. This caused an even more terrified reaction from the man but he didn't back down either. He looked like he was going to fight if provoked.

"What are you going to do?" he asked as Duo advanced.

All of a sudden, Trowa felt horrible for trying to frighten him in the first place. The big eyes behind the glasses were filled with such horror that he didn't know what to do. He fought the urge to slam his hand on the wall for not being more direct, for hiding behind his friends while they did the dirty work.

Much to the man's surprise and disbelief, Duo suddenly hugged him from behind, locking him into place. He yelped as Duo made a beeline for his shirt, tugging a bit and whispering something into his ear. Trowa had no intention of finding out what it was.

Slowly, almost rhythmically, Duo moved his hands around the flat of his stomach. Their target tried to pull back in alarm, the wisps of his shiny blonde hair swaying with the rest of his head.

"What are you four doing in here?"

Three heads immediately turned to the source of the voice but Trowa remained fixated on the image still before him.

"Well, well, I didn't expect to find all four of you harassing our newest charge and acting like lechers. I believe it's time to get back to work." Lady Une said, taking on her 'zero' mode as they called it. "Zero-one, I expected you to be more responsible. Zero-five, shame on you. Zero-two, get your hand off his pants this instant and Zero-three... you're salivating on your tie. Get back to work before I add another pile to that stack you already have."

Trowa looked at her, eyes not betraying his embarrassment and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Let's go doctor," Une started again. "I apologize for the long wait and for this... inconvenience. Please accept my apologies."

The man nodded before fixing his shirt and following her out the door. Just when they thought they were out of harm's way, the door suddenly opened, revealing Une with her outraged look.

"I want all four of you in my office tomorrow at six a.m. sharp. Zero-three, don't get any ideas."

When he was sure that Une was no longer coming back, Trowa let out the breath he was holding in and looked at Duo who was sighing in annoyance. 

"I was almost there," he said. "I was so damn close to feeling if the scar was there."

Trowa just looked thoughtfully at the door. The last thing on his mind was Lady Une's reprimand. All thoughts were focused on the ethereal figure who always seemed to be the subject of his recurring dreams. It almost hurt to see the look of non-recognition in the face that held the key to his unending anguish.

"It had to be him," Trowa said as the other three looked at him in sympathy. "He knew me from the moment I walked in the door."


	4. Part Four

**Memento [Part Four]**

There was always something so strangely maddening about what he was doing at that moment. Somehow, through all the brown sludge he'd had to watch through, he still had that lingering admiration for the creature that defecated on him. The smells were so pungent and yet the owner was so adorable that he couldn't blame him for doing such a revolting act. A few more minutes were all he needed before it was all over. He'd found that out in the last few weeks he'd been working on the particular job.

"Geez Trowa, you'd think that you love that kid's crap the way you're staring at it so lovingly."

Trowa turned his head to the direction of Duo's voice.

"What? It's true. I mean that kid's been going at it for the past five minutes and you've been staring at his ass so reverently the whole time. Aren't you feeling sick or something?"

Trowa didn't know how to respond to the comment. Perhaps his fascination for the little creature whose legs he held up was far beyond admiration that he'd forgotten the horrid sight. He always found children interesting, especially the little infants. Being around older people all his life taught him how to appreciate the innocence in the tiny bundles of life. It was what Lady Une had said after all - what better way to punish the lechers than to expose them to the purity and innocence of children.

"This child is pure evil concealing itself in the guise of innocence!" Wufei suddenly bellowed. His hair was in disarray and his face was red from anger. The infant he was in charge of was giggling and hitting the rattle repeatedly on his head before letting out a fine layer of drool on his already ruined shirt.

"It looks like Heero's the only one fairing well," Duo said and Trowa had to agree to that. While his charge seemed to love displaying his excrement in large quantities, the little girl Heero was looking after was such an angel. She cooed and she giggled and she adored Heero like she adored her mother's milk.

"You don't seem to be in such a bind either," Trowa said, shifting his hold on the child's legs. He was going to have to hold him over the toilet bowl soon if he didn't stop.

"Yeah but the kid won't stop chewing on my braid."

Trowa looked at the little girl. While she did stop crying in the last few minutes, she had taken to sucking on the bottle and chewing on Duo's braid intermittently. He watched thinking about the times he wished that he had one of his own. Quatre agreed to adopt one not long before he disappeared.

"Hiwo!" Heero's charge squealed and snuggled deeper into his shirt.

"I'm taking this one to the washroom," Trowa announced. He realized that the kid won't stop anytime soon and that the already soiled diaper was filling up faster than he expected.

He put the kid down, watched him and then sighed. Lady Une sure had a cruel way of extracting punishment. Ever since the incident in the confinement areas, he couldn't take his mind off the mysterious so-called 'doctor' who happened to grace him with his presence. It wouldn't do to sulk around his friends because he knew that they would try to bring him out of his reverie. Once in a while, he did enjoy ruminating on things, the subject of his missing partner specifically.

Enough time hadn't been spent on investigating the new evidences that have piled up in his head. For some reason, distractions always diverted his attention from it. Today, he thought, was going to be the day he started putting the pieces together.

"Trowa, aren't you done with the kid yet? I think our time's up."

Looking down at his hand and the pile of wet wipes he'd disposed of, he smiled as he kissed the forehead of the infant who now seemed to enjoy his presence more.

"Too bad you're nice to me now just as I'm about to leave," Trowa said. "I hope they take good care of you when I go."

He wrapped the child up in a fresh diaper before coming out of the washroom to join his friends who have already given up their charges to their respective caretakers. For some reason, he didn't want to hand the baby in yet. 

"I know that look," Wufei said, forcing him to look up from the little face. "There's no way in hell you're bringing that kid home. We have other things to discuss before you start pampering the thing."

Trowa just nodded and handed the child to one of the caretakers although his eyes couldn't leave that of the child's.

===

"From the top! I want to hear it again from the top."

Trowa watched Wufei sigh as Duo demanded for a repeat. He was confused too but instead of asking, he let Duo do all the talking for him. Little bits of information were coming together but there still wasn't enough information they could go on with. 

It was a little after lunch when all four of them decided to have a serious discussion about the bizarre turn of events that have been happening around them. All the pieces seemed to revolve around their missing friend but then there were certain things that didn't fit into the whole story. Trowa wasn't buying it and neither was Duo.

"He said they're after Quatre," Heero stated, taking over for Wufei. "The reports Wufei handed in to me stated that all the suspects so far were paid to assassinate Quatre Winner just as our beaten assassin said."

"It's no coincidence that they were following Trowa around," Wufei added. "The latest gossip columns have stated the supposed relationship between the representative of the colonies and Gundam pilot zero-three."

At the statement, Trowa lifted his head to regard his friend. It was possible for such news to get by without his knowledge. He wasn't one to keep up with the newest gossip even if it did concern him. The only real news he was aware of were the little bits of half sentences that came out of his radio in the early morning.

"How would they know who zero-three was?" Duo asked.

"That's not the real problem here is it?" Trowa finally spoke, taking his cup and drinking his still warm tea. "It's either Quatre is in some location we aren't aware of or someone who looks exactly like him is stirring up trouble."

"Most likely," Wufei answered.

"Wait a minute. Just hold on a second," Duo interrupted. "You think our geeky buddy from the other day's stirring up trouble? What if the guy just happened to look like the wealthiest businessman in the Earth sphere? We can't conclude that without further proof."

"I don't agree with you on that one," Heero said.

Every one except Duo nodded in agreement. Duo just stared at Heero in disbelief. It was either he was just being defensive of Quatre's look-alike or they were seeing something he wasn't. Either way, he didn't look like he was going to give up.

"There must be a reason he ended up here," Duo said. "I suggest we go to Une and find out what exactly she was doing with that guy."

Trowa had to agree. Even if he was just forcing himself to believe it was really Quatre, he still wanted to see the man again. 

"Don't bother finding me."

Trowa almost choked on his drink and Duo spit his coffee halfway across the room. Une was the last person they expected to see after a quiet lunch. They hoped that she still wasn't going on about their lack of conduct. 

"We were just..."

"Don't bother. I have a new assignment for all four of you if you accept."

Nobody answered but they were all waiting for her to speak. She didn't have them wait too long because it was only a second later that she signaled for somebody from outside to join them.

"What? Them? Are you sure?" were the first words out of the new visitor's mouth.

"They are the best we have despite their earlier... misconduct," Une said. "I'm sure that they will protect you far better than anyone else in our organization."

"Who are you?" Trowa suddenly interrupted.

"Zero-three, that's hardly the behavior I expect from you," Une warned but Trowa continued with his questioning.

"Who are you?" he asked again. "What's your name?"

Their newest guest seemed confused by the rude welcome. He was tugging on his shirt and trying to hide his face behind his thick blonde hair. He didn't look like he was going to face them but he answered anyway.

"Quatre Winner."

"Oh hell no! You have got to be kidding me," Duo said, being the first one to react out of the four. "Quatre, I swear, if that's you, I'm going to have to..."

"That is enough zero-two," Une said. It was obvious that she was getting a headache from simply being around them. She should have known it was coming. At least that was what Trowa thought. "Dr. Winner," she started again, emphasizing the word 'doctor'. "...is an engineer from L3. He is in no way associated with the former representative. That same false association is to blame for the recent attempts on his life. He was sent to us to be protected. The last people we sent were blown up along with his home. Your four are the last people I would call on for this job but for the sake of 'his' memory, I request that you protect Dr. Winner the same way you would him."

"But we didn't protect him, did we?" Trowa said with bitterness in his voice. "Isn't that the reason why we're in this situation right now? I, for one, will not accept this assignment. Unlike you, I consider this a mockery of his memory."

Quatre's expression changed from that of shock to that of disappointment. If Trowa would have looked at him longer, he probably would have taken back his words. That was exactly why he chose that moment to look away. The other three looked uneasy with the situation but Une decided to ask the question anyway.

"How about you three? What's your answer?"

"I'm not taking part in any of this," Wufei said.

"Heero?"

"He's right."

"Hey, don't look at me," Duo said before she could ask. "If Trowa's not up to it then I'm not either." 

"I'm not about to force any of you into doing anything you don't want to," Une said with a sigh. She too looked somewhat disappointed. "Just talk to me if you change your mind."

Without waiting any loner, she exited the room with Quatre, leaving the four to digest their current situation. 

"So," Duo said to lighten up the mood. "That answered part of our question, huh? I mean we know who those assassins were after. I guess all we have to do is strip the guy down and find out if he's lying or not, right?"

"I'm going back to work," Trowa said and then filled his cup with more tea before leaving for his office.

===

He was halfway through a when he was rudely interrupted. Although the other four barely knocked whenever they came into his office, they knew when to back off. He was decidedly angry about the earlier encounter and they knew it. It was never good to talk to him when he was in such moods and they all knew that he would most likely ignore them or simply shrug them off.

He heard the footsteps come closer to his table but he remained impassive as if not noticing the intrusion in the first place. If the intruder was not going to leave him alone then he was going to wait until he or she decided to do so.

"Why?"

He suddenly looked up, hearing the familiar voice and came face to face with the Dr. Winner he'd met only twice in the past few days. He could've ignored anyone, even Duo's loud wails but he still couldn't look away from his current guest. It was too surreal to see him there with an equally angry stare.

"Why what?" he answered with indifference.

"You obviously didn't want to take the job. Why? What is it about me?" he asked, his voice starting to increase in volume as he spoke. "Is it the clothes?" he said, tugging on his crisp and pressed oxford shirt. "Or was it the hair?" he continued flicking a rather thick clump of his blonde lock. "Do I look so hideously unappealing that you'd turn me down right in front of my face?"

He was angry but Trowa didn't notice it. All he noticed was the pout that was almost forming on the other man's face. If he'd known that this 'Quatre' would come to him and demand an explanation, he would have preferred to turn down the offer when he was nowhere in sight. It seemed that the damage had already been done so he was left to deal with the consequences.

His guest now had both hands on either side of his waist. Try as he might, Trowa couldn't find the stance threatening at all. In fact, it looked more adorable than anything else. But then he didn't loose his cool. He was still in charge of the situation after all. The impostor before him was still and will always be an impostor.

"Well?"

"You remind me of someone," Trowa finally answered.

It seemed the answer fueled even more rage into the man's already angered state because he slammed his hands down flat into Trowa's table and began his lecture.

"That is such a lame excuse and a juvenile one at that. You'd want me running around in danger just because you don't like me? Just because I look like someone you know? What is it with you? First you have me molested the first time we meet and now that I've come for help, you're turning me down like I've done something wrong."

"Why ask me?" Trowa said, evading the onslaught of accusations.

"Because your buddies keep on looking at you before they made their decision. I assumed that you were the ringleader. Who else would be able to control his gang aside from the leader? So, tell me please just exactly why you abhor my presence. That's all I need to know then maybe I could die in peace when someone decides to shoot me in the head."

"I never said that I abhorred your presence."

Trowa watched as his guest sank down on one of the chairs. He was surprised to find such a reaction from the man who looked like he couldn't kill a fly a few minutes ago. Then again, he underestimated Quatre many times before too.

"Look, I don't want to go home. The last time it was checked, they found bugs everywhere, not to mention the bomb that went off while I was out for lunch. I'm not here to be your charity case. I'd just like it if someone were nice to me for just five minutes."

"Why come to me?" Trowa insisted on asking, feeling as though he may get something out of it.

"Because you're the first one who popped into my head."

"Can't you think of anyone else?"

He knew that he was pushing it but he just wanted to see if the real Quatre would appear just in case his current guest slipped up.

"What is this, twenty questions? Can't I spend a moment of peace without you trying to get me angry?"

"Why say that when you're the one intruding into my office? You're making small talk when not necessary and you're trying to find an excuse to stay here longer than you're supposed to."

He wasn't really angry now, just curious. By that time, he knew he reached the limit because in the blink of an eye, he saw the man stand up from his seat and point an accusatory finger at him.

"You have the personality of a lame donkey... asshole!"

To say that Trowa was surprised was an understatement. Absolutely no one had the guts to call him as such. Sure, there was the occasional teasing from his friends but this one was flat out insulting and derogatory. He wasn't angry though. He was far from angry. In fact, he was highly amused. He began laughing so hard he thought that Quatre would think him in ill health.

It wasn't long before his friends came in to check what the strange occurrence was. It wasn't like Trowa at all to burst out laughing, especially when he was in a bad mood. It didn't sound like the same person who was ready to kill only minutes ago. 

"What's wrong?" Wufei asked and then noticed that Quatre was in the office as well. It didn't take a genius to guess that the look-alike was the cause of the commotion.

"Tro? You alright buddy?" Duo asked but Trowa kept on laughing.

"I've picked up a new baby-sitting duty," he said and looked at his prey with strange intent. Quatre couldn't decipher the look and slowly backed away until he could make a run for the next person he could trust.

"I guess he thinks you're a loon," Duo said. "I'm beginning to think you are too."

Trowa smiled but only to himself. All of a sudden, it didn't really matter if he was Quatre or not. His look was close enough; his voice a little off; and his choice of clothes, a disaster but he knew that he wouldn't have been able to resist for long anyway. The new Quatre felt oddly familiar, enough to relieve his longing even for just a little while.

"He called me an asshole," Trowa said, trying to stop from laughing out again. "I think he meant it too. He's brutally honest and he's changed my mind because of that."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Of course. Besides, nobody's made me laugh that much in a long time."


	5. Part Five

**Memento [Part Five]**

It was downright ridiculous. Why they had to bring an inexperienced civilian was beyond him. Their newest charge was not only untrained but also apparently unhealthy. The situation was dangerous not only for him but also for them. There was truly only one word for it.

"Utter crap!"

Trowa took it back. Duo certainly expressed everything in those two words. It had been two weeks since they'd acquired their newest assignment and they still had to get used to him.

"Shut up zero-two unless you want to get caught."

"No way am I shutting up zero-five. How on earth did out little doctor get pneumonia in the middle of a stakeout?"

Trowa heard a groan from his earpiece, most likely coming from Wufei. He tried not to sigh in frustration. As much as he wanted to get all four of them and leave at once, he was still precariously balancing himself on a thin ledge. If he got caught now, there was no telling what would happen next.

"Zero-two, just make sure he doesn't make too much noise," Wufei's voice said. "Zero-three, you think we could handle this without zero-two? Zero-one's signaled that he's ready."

"Affirmative," Trowa answered.

"Hey, hold on a minute! Don't tell me you're leaving this to me. I already did the baby-sitting last time," Duo protested.

Before Wufei could even voice out his retort, a voice quickly cut in.

"I'm not feeling that sick, really. Zero-two could leave me alone and I'll be fine," Quatre said, his voice sounding a little more sick than he wanted to admit.

Trowa let out his breath and shook his head, continuing to hold his palms out to the only supporting wall behind him. Quatre always had the effect of making him feel guilty even if he didn't mean to do so. The situation may have been frustrating but it was still forgivable. The last thing he wanted was for his conscience to bother him for the rest of the day.

"Fine, we're taking you to that special doctor of yours after we're done here," he said. "Zero-five, we might as well do this while we haven't been discovered yet."

"Fine."

The next few minutes found Trowa jumping down to the next level from his perch. That was when all the commotion started. He knew that he should have been concentrating on his job but he couldn't help but listen to the snippets of conversation coming in through his earpiece.

"Geez," he heard Duo say. "Don't you ever get tired of being sick? What has zero-five been feeding you, pneumonia on a stick?"

"I heard that," Wufei responded while immobilizing his opponent. "At least I don't smother him like you and your woman do."

Trowa had to smile at that. Duo and Hilde were certainly the best caretakers the way they took care of Quatre. He almost laughed at the thought but remembered that he was still facing his opponent who was now insulted by his lack of concentration. The punches aimed at him were meant solely for his grinning face.

"Leave it for now," Heero's voice suddenly cut in. "Zero-three needs to concentrate on what he's doing."

Trowa could just imagine Heero's face as he said it, probably dead set on strangling the two and hauling Quatre up and delivering him to the nearest clinic. This reminded him, if Heero was present then that meant that they were almost done. He hoped that it wouldn't get any more complicated so they could leave right away.

"Oops."

"What is it zero-two?" Heero asked in irritation.

"I've got a leech stuck on our baby and it looks to me like he wants to keep him."

"Damn it!" Wufei hissed.

"Don't come closer or he gets it," said a stranger's voice from the earpiece.

Trowa didn't hear a reaction from Quatre and just assumed that he had passed out already from both the sickness and probably from the fright. It happened a number of times during the week and it was now an ordinary event. At least he would be a bit easier to retrieve. The quieter they were, the less likely they were to protest.

"Push the baby down the ledge," Trowa commanded and Duo did it without further prompting. The stranger didn't know what was happening because within the next few minutes, he found his hostage thrown from their high perch, almost as if they meant to drop him and found himself beaten, restrained and in the mercy of his opponent.

"You better have caught him zero-three," Duo said with warning, holding down the man.

Trowa didn't answer.

"Damn it zero-three, you could have warned me that you meant for me to catch him," Heero answered for him. "Why didn't you tell me he was landing my way?"

Trowa shrugged although he knew that none of them saw the reaction.

"You have good reflexes," he said. "I trusted that you wouldn't drop him. Besides, I would have killed you anyway if anything happened."

"We're not done yet," Wufei's voice cut in. "Zero-one, get him out of here. Call for backup. We'll handle the rest."

Heero didn't need another warning because he was out before Trowa could even turn to check. Meanwhile, Duo was still on the same spot he was earlier, giving the fallen man a good lecture on hostage taking methods.

"Zero-two, leave the man alone. We need help down here."

It wasn't long before Duo came down to join them and finish off the rest of the job. All Trowa could think of was the good meal awaiting them afterwards. Another thought came to mind as well. He still wondered what the reasons were for Lady Une's overwhelming amounts of burden on them. Not only did they have to take on the customary assignments but they also had to deal with their newest charge at the same time. It almost seemed as if she was enjoying their suffering. He wasn't really upset, only a little puzzled as to why she would take the dangerous approach when she had never done so before.

"Zero-three," Duo called out in a sing-song voice. "Are you daydreaming again?"

Trowa shook his head and cleared his thoughts. It was not the time for him to think of such things. Maybe he would get the opportunity to think about it thoroughly when he wasn't in any danger. For now, he had to finish up and look forward to dinner.

"I need food soon," he heard Wufei mumble while running for cover. He had to agree. He was hungry too. Hopefully, dinner at Duo's place that night was going to be enough to fill him up.

===

Bloody - that was the only word he could come up with. The large piece of bloody meat was making its way to the inside of the beast's mouth. It was one unholy mouth too with the way it tore at the tender pieces. Trowa thought it was a hideous sight but then so did everybody else within the vicinity.

"Heero you savage!" Hilde finally commented.

The accused looked up from his meal and then shrugged. It must have been one tasty meal because he began devouring the rare steak again.

"You should complain," Wufei said. "Who was the one who cooked him that abomination in the first place?"

He cringed before looking away.

"C'mon, lighten up people," Duo perked up. "It isn't like this is the first time we've seen the almighty pilot of zero-one in one of his more carnivorous moods."

Trowa looked away quickly. There were just some things he could never get used to and one of those was Heero's love for the partly raw variety. At least he was holding up pretty well despite the circumstances. It was the new guy who did eventually give in. He was looking rather pale.

"I need to use the bathroom," Quatre said quickly, his hand almost immediately going for his mouth.

"What's wrong love?" Hilde asked with concern. "Maybe I should come with you just in case you feel sick."

The two were gone within seconds and the three were left to deal with Heero's display.

"That's my Hilde!" Duo said with pride as he let out a loud burp and pat his stomach down. "Isn't she the sweetest?" he asked and then winked.

"Disgusting," Wufei said, also looking away from Heero. "Every time we come here for dinner we have nothing but grease all over the place, loud belches from you and savage displays by..." he said and looked at Heero in disgust. " I'm surprised our baby-sitting duty didn't leave any earlier."

"Are you saying you don't like coming over to my place Wu?" Duo asked, batting his eyelashes as best as he could.

"I'm only putting up with you people in respect for Hilde," he answered.

"So does that mean you're taking up my offer on a threesome?"

Trowa pulled on Duo's arm, being the closest to him. It wouldn't do to start a petty argument in the middle of his meal. He wanted to enjoy the rest of his food but Heero was just too distracting. He berated himself for not evading the problem earlier by choosing the seat furthest away from him. At least he got a better seat than last time. Their poor charge had the misfortune of positioning himself in front of Heero. He was getting a little concerned since it took them a little while to get back but pushed the worry back in favor of a more decent eating experience.

"You might as well check on them," Wufei said, helping himself to an ear of corn. "It's taking them a while. Besides, you're already done and I don't want to have to deal with you for the rest of my meal."

Duo did his best rendition of Quatre's large teary eyes and then left the table without another word. It wasn't long after Duo's departure that the questioning started. Trowa had a feeling it was going to happen, just not as soon as he expected.

"Aren't you concerned?"

Trowa looked up from his meal, assuming that the question was directed toward him. He shrugged and then took a sip of his drink. That night it was red wine to complement their meal.

"Aren't you wondering why he's sick half the time and close to exhaustion the other half of the time?" Wufei continued.

Trowa shrugged again. He knew it must have been annoying but he was in no mood for another discussion about the different peculiarities and sicknesses of the new guy.

"It's authentic."

Both of them were surprised to find Heero done with his meal, having a serious look of contemplation in his eyes. On his plate was a large bone, the remnants of an already forgotten meal.

"It's authentic," Heero said again. "If he's sick all the time then it's because of the way his body is built. I doubt that he's a con-artist and I don't see any hidden motives. He has nothing to hide."

"Why not check his DNA?"

Trowa looked toward the entrance of the dining room to find their newest company. Hilde must have left Quatre to Duo's care. Otherwise, she would not have come. He started to wonder why he even bothered staying when he never really contributed to any of the conversations. 

"We need written consent from him," Wufei responded. "He doesn't like the idea. We can't very well pluck hair out of him and bring it to some laboratory. We wouldn't even know where to start."

Despite his concern, Trowa didn't care to go through another discussion about the said topic. He hadn't figured it out yet but there was still something nagging him about their situation. The truth of Quatre's true identity was now the least of his worries.

"Where are those crazy scientists when you need them?" Hilde said and then laughed, trying to break the somber mood. "Like Duo said, lighten up guys. I doubt that Trowa likes where this discussion is going."

Trowa didn't look up and instead studied the lip marks and fingerprints on his slender wine glass.

"So, whose turn is it to take him home?"

Trowa didn't make a move to volunteer so it was Heero who eventually did.

"He'll be staying with me," he said. "Wufei had him last week and you two this week. Trowa's still moving to his new place so it will be more convenient to keep him with me."

"Trowa, Duo never told me you were moving," Hilde said.

"His place is too dangerous to live in. He's got assassins all over the place."

Trowa put his napkin down and thought about it. Perhaps the reason for his dark mood was just that. He was moving out of the home he built with Quatre. For the longest time he wanted to leave and move on but when it was time to do so, he felt as if he were betraying his missing spouse by giving it all up. Although the new Quatre resembled him in some ways, there was still something not right about it. It was like cheating. He was like a replacement.

He stood up from his seat and walked away from the table, not really caring that the rest of his companions were looking at him in question. He walked around the place and eventually ended up in one of the guest rooms, the room where Quatre stayed the past week. The door was slightly open so he decided to peer in. As he suspected, Duo was still with Quatre. The two looked to be in a serious conversation, just like the one he left earlier.

"He hates me. I can see it every time he looks at me."

"You're whining again," Duo said in response. "Look, Trowa's a serious kind of guy. If you think he hates you just because of the way he looks then that means he hates everything else. I'm surprised you haven't figured that out yet. It's been two weeks."

Trowa watched as Quatre reached for a napkin to blow his nose. If he was down with something then it was probably the flu. It was going to be a problem to bring him along missions if he was sniffling along the way.

"I know," he answered, looking at Duo through his flu induced haze. "But he's been avoiding me like the plague and he told me that I reminded him of someone, probably someone he loathes."

"You, my friend, are horribly incorrect," Duo said, rubbing Quatre's back as he coughed. "First of all, you are the plague. You've been catching every type of disease they have out there. Second of all, that someone you resemble is more than you think. Just trust me on it when I tell you that he doesn't hate you for it. He just needs a little time to get used to you."

"I guess," Quatre said, sniffling and reclining on the bed pillows. "Thanks for listening to me whine."

"Anytime," Duo responded. "Now, can I take out that shirt of yours?"

"No you pervert!" Quatre protested. "Why do you want my shirt off anyway?"

"Well let's see," Duo said while rubbing his chin. "I can't really tell you so I'll keep it a secret for now."

Duo grinned and then gave Quatre a devious look. It looked as if he was up to something.

"Ignore him. He's just a pervert," Heero said, coming into the room. Trowa didn't even notice his presence but he didn't feel the least bit guilty for spying on two and being discovered. 

"Let's go. I'm taking you home," Heero said, sounding like he was giving more of a command than a request.

"Aww, can I keep him another day?" Duo said and put his hands together as if begging Heero. "He's still sick you know. We can't move him yet."

Heero declined the request and instead hauled Quatre up and placed him over his shoulder. It wasn't surprising since the man didn't weigh a thing.

"It's not safe for him to stay too long in one place," he responded, walking out.

"Heero, no manhandling," Trowa warned from the doorway, finally making his presence known.

"Who's manhandling?"

"Oh, I forgot to warn you Quat," Duo called out to Quatre's upside down and dangling form. "Heero sleeps in the buff. Keep your eyes closed until you're sure he's put something on."

Trowa cringed not because of Heero's choice of sleepwear but because of Duo's new nickname for their charge. If Duo was calling him by that name then it meant that he was well transitioned into their new arrangement. The new Quatre may not have done anything wrong but still, Trowa had to place the blame on him. It was as if he was trying to replace an essential piece. If he wasn't the real thing then he had no right.

"You look pissed off Tro," Duo said and he was immediately broken out of his thoughts. "Mind telling me what's bothering you?"

"I'm just tired," Trowa said. "I'm going home, to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you sure? Wufei tells me that you haven't moved all the furniture in yet, including the bed. Don't you want to sleep over instead?"

Trowa stopped for a moment to think about it. He thought about how convenient it would be to just stay over but then remembered that he would be occupying the same space Quatre had occupied in the last week that he stayed with Duo. It felt wrong somehow but his curiosity was bothering him. He wanted very much to see if the sheets smelled like his Quatre. It may have been absurd but he was willing to give in. It didn't matter if he was just obsessing. At least he could let himself give in another day.

"I'll need to pick up my things first," Trowa answered.

"And one more thing," Duo said before moving to leave the room. "Didn't you promise that you'd take him to that doctor of his tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Then you better pick him up at Heero's place tomorrow. The rest of us have the write-ups to do. We'll cover for you. Good luck and remember, be nice."

Trowa stared at Duo's retreating figure. So, he was going to be alone with Quatre the next morning. The thought alone was enough to make him feel uneasy.


	6. Part Six

**Memento [Part Six]**

It wasn't all that difficult. It was just a little strange. So far, all he'd done was pick-up Quatre and take him to his doctor. The only small detail that wasn't mentioned earlier was the length of time it would take to get there. So, there he was, on a subway, standing and faced away from Quatre. He was thinking about different things but it wasn't long before he pondered once again on his favorite topic. There was certainly nothing more significant in Trowa's mind than his current situation.

He looked over to the other side of the packed subway. There he was, the object of his devoted love and unparalleled hate all at once. There were some similarities but the differences were quite striking now that he took a moment to study Quatre's features. The man was short or at least shorter than him. He was thin. His eyes weren't as huge as he thought and his skin was so pale one would think that he was a ghost. It was probably because he was sick but it still didn't explain much. He had blonde hair but it wasn't as thick as he initially thought it was. It was parted to the left and it was combed back, leaving his face open for the world to see. He had bad taste in clothing. For that, Trowa was sure.

Then, he thought about his missing husband. Quatre was short but not much shorter than him. He was skinny but he began working out with him every morning so his form filled out a bit more over the years. His eyes were awfully huge and were hidden behind long strands of thick blonde hair that looked so light and feathery that he could almost touch it. He had excellent taste in clothing. He was healthy, able to hold up to disease much more than he could. He was sweet but not overly done and he was perfect the way he was.

Trowa looked again at the new guy. Upon closer inspection he noted that he may have just been seeing things the first time he saw the man. He was nothing like his Quatre aside from having a similar name. He had the same hair and the same eyes but that was it. The only thing notable about him was the fact that he was the most fragile guy Trowa ever came across. He grimaced.

"He isn't that ugly son. I'm sure you'll get used to him. Remember, looks aren't everything."

Trowa raised his eyebrow in question. Apparently, the old lady he was standing in front of was observing him observe Quatre. He must have looked like he was trying to burn a hole through Quatre's skull the way he was staring at his turned head.

"I said give it a try lad! You never know what you're rejecting before you try it out."

He felt foolish but just nodded his head instead to the old lady's advice. He was lucky that Quatre wasn't paying attention. He didn't know how he would explain himself when asked if he thought that Quatre looked ugly. It would have been rude and impolite.

"We're almost there," Quatre turned to him and then looked back to his side of the window which was facing the scenery outside. The voice was deeper now that he thought about it. It wasn't as high as he remembered his husband's voice to be.

"Just tell me when we have to get off," he answered and closed his eyes. At least when he did so, he didn't have to deal with spying on the new guy behind his back. It would have been too obvious.

"We're here," Quatre said not very long after he closed his eyes. "Hurry up before we get trampled over by the oncoming passengers."

He followed him out and kept silent. It wasn't like he was required to start up a conversation with him anyway. All he had to do was take him to the doctor and take him back. 

"Why are you following behind me?" Quatre said all of a sudden. "Don't tell me you're ashamed to be seen with me." He said it with a smile.

"Of course not," Trowa muttered in response and caught up with him.

They walked a block or two, still in silence but neither of them seemed to mind. It wasn't until they reached a demolished area that Quatre stopped to look. It took Trowa a while to notice that his companion had stopped so he walked back a few steps.

"Anything wrong?" he asked casually although Quatre seemed to be concerned about the demolished site.

"I used to live here," Quatre answered with indifference. "That was, before they blew it up. I can't believe they blew up all my stuff. I could have made use of some of those things."

Trowa nodded, not knowing what to say. Perhaps Quatre felt more disappointed than he was letting out. After all, his home was taken away from him, he had to halt his job and he was now a nomad moving from place to place to avoid the people who were after his life. He always knew it was hard to be Quatre. He saw first hand how his husband was always burdened with being just who he was. He figured that this other Quatre had it harder since it wasn't him they were really after. He was just a normal man cursed with the name and looks of a popular politician.

"Let's get going," Quatre said, snapping him out of another one of his musings. "My doctor's clinic is a little further from here. It'll take us a few more minutes."

It didn't take them very long to get to the clinic. Trowa didn't even notice the time pass by. Quatre didn't comment on the silence and just hummed to himself the whole way there.

"Quatre, it's been a while! How have you been?"

Trowa was surprised to hear the immediate greeting the moment they walked into the door. It was obvious that the man was a frequent visitor the way he picked up every disease probably known to man.

"Good morning! I've been great. Well, a little busy but still great. This is Trowa. He's supposed to be watching out for me," Quatre said.

"Ahh, the new bodyguard I see," the attendant in bright animal prints said. "I hope you've been treating Quatre well."

Trowa didn't get to answer because Quatre did it for him.

"He's been doing a good job and so have the others."  


"More than one body guard, hmm? It looks like you're a big shot now Quatre."

"Not really," Quatre answered. "So, is Dr. Marion available today?"

"Yup, just go in. He's ready to see you."

Quatre walked into the doors leading to the rooms and Trowa walked right behind him as if he were his shadow. Quatre didn't notice he was following until he took a step back to look into one of the empty rooms and bumped the back of his head into Trowa's face.

"Oops! Sorry about that. I didn't think that you'd follow me in here."

"Standard procedure," Trowa answered although he knew that there wasn't such a thing when it came to doctor's visits. He just wanted to make sure that nobody was after his life while he was in there.

"Okay then."

They didn't have to wait long in the room because the doctor came right away. Trowa didn't know what kind of magical clinic it was if they didn't have to wait long hours to see the doctor and wait for him for another few hours to come. It was like a fairytale doctor's clinic. Maybe Quatre had top priority.

"Nice to see you again Quatre," the doctor said when coming in. He smiled at his patient and nodded to Trowa in greeting, probably finding out from the attendant outside just who he was. "You haven't been coming for your regular check-ups. I was worried but you're here now. So, let me do a little check-up and let's see what the problem is."

What followed was a long conversation, a little stethoscope probing here and there and a very vivid view of Quatre's bare back. He was hoping to get a view of the front to check for the infamous Dorothy Catalonia scar but opted to stay where he was seated instead. It wouldn't do to peek into his half-open shirt. That was Duo's job.

What he did notice with apprehension was the faint scar that ran through Quatre's back, probably continuing on to his stomach. It wasn't very visible but it was still too striking not to notice. Trowa wondered about the cause of such injury. He wanted to ask for the reason once they were alone together but he decided to leave the topic alone for the meantime. It wasn't very nice to pry into other people's business after all.

"Have you gone to see Lara yet?"

Trowa's ears picked up on the name. As far as he knew, Quatre had never mentioned the name before. 

"No. I haven't seen her since she got this organization to watch over me. She must be busy with that new research she has," Quatre answered while buttoning up his shirt.

"I see. I'll make sure to tell her you were here. She'll be coming in for her check-up during the weekend."

"Thanks doctor."

"Anytime," he said and then handed Quatre what looked like a grocery list. "Make sure that you pass by the pharmacy to pick those up. They should keep the symptoms down for a while."

Trowa followed Quatre out into the waiting area and then out the door. His mood was slightly different from the clam indifference he was experiencing earlier in the morning and was replaced with that of unease. He couldn't pinpoint what triggered his distress which in turn made him more restless than he already was. Finding no other way to release the tension, he began a conversation with Quatre. It wasn't a very intelligent one but at least it was something to distract him.

"So, have you always been unhealthy?" he asked without looking at Quatre.

"Yeah. I've been this way since childhood and it usually drove my friends nuts. I couldn't come out to play often," Quatre said while kicking the small rocks that were littered on the sidewalk.

"Your parents must have been worried all the time."

"You know what; I don't really remember my parents all that much. It's as if I never met my mother but I've been told my father raised me."

"You remember none of this?" Trowa asked, finding it strange. He also grew up without a family of his own but at least he had the memories of his childhood intact.

"Huh? Oh, not really. I tend to draw out blanks sometimes. My doctor tells me it's probably from the high fever I had a few years back. It jogs my memory a bit."

"So, who's Lara?" Trowa asked all of a sudden.

Quatre stopped walking and then looked at him. Trowa didn't really know why. If he asked something wrong then he wasn't aware of it.

"I was assuming you met her already!" Quatre said, looking quite surprised. "She was the person who put me in your organization. You haven't met her?"

Trowa shrugged.

"I guess I'll just have to tell you. Lara's a really good friend of mine."

"Some friend she is," Trowa muttered. "Throwing you into the hands of strangers really doesn't help your current problem."

The next thing Trowa saw was a fist aiming straight for his face. The rest became a blur as he struggled to find out just which part of his last sentence was offensive.

===

Catherine was busy cleaning out her closet when she heard the knock on her door. When she asked who was there, all she received was a grunt. Without asking for any more details, she swung the trailer door open to find Trowa looking down on his shoes.

"Trowa? What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to pull him inside.

"He hit me Cathy!" Trowa said, looking up and pointing to the forming bruises on his face.

"Who hit you?" she asked. A look of horror was on her face.

"The look-alike," Trowa said. "The look-alike I was talking about on the phone earlier."

Catherine's response was to laugh while still trying to console him by patting his back.

"I'm glad you're entertained but I don't find it funny."

Trowa crossed his arms and looked away from her but it did take her a few more seconds to regain her composure. When she was done with her fit, she went for the kitchen to get Trowa a cup of tea. It usually calmed him down whenever he came for his problems.

"Some help you are," Trowa said as she left him. He sat in the living room and waited.

"Don't get angry at me now. I was just going to get you a drink. Honestly Trowa, I've never seen you this childish before. Are you sure Quatre just hit you without saying why. You must have done something."

"That's the problem. He didn't tell me why he was mad. What was I supposed to do, read his mind?"

"Really Trowa, sometimes you could be an insensitive jerk."

"What? So I'm the bad guy now?"

Trowa was glad that he could complain. When he was at work and around people, he always had to be composed. He didn't dare act like an immature child in front of anybody. It was Cathy's job to witness it and he took advantage of that fact. Whenever he felt like crying, complaining or breaking down, he always came to her.

"Won't they look for you at the office?" Cathy said, carrying a cup of warm tea into the living room. She placed it on the coffee table in front of Trowa and took a seat across from him.

"Sure. Go back to work and face the crowd. They're never going to get over it once they see the bruises on my face. What should I do, act cool when everybody finds out the skinny new guy beat the crap out of me?"

"Isn't that supposed to be your expertise?"

"Very funny."

He sat back on the couch and sipped his tea. Perhaps Catherine would be able to understand him more than his friends. After all, she was objective, the only one he knew who didn't have a very good familiarity with Quatre. Heero, Duo and Wufei were out of the question since they've worked with him and were much closer to him that they would care to admit.

"I'm so confused it's probably going to drive me to insanity," he started. "At first I thought that he resembled Quatre a lot. His hair and his eyes were just unmistakably his. There was something drawing me to him and I didn't know what."

Catherine shifted in her seat a bit but still paid attention to what he was saying. It wasn't unusual for him to come to her several times, especially after Quatre's disappearance a while back. At least this time, he was just confused and not close to devastation.

"But when I started to work with him, I started to hate him to the point of making sure that I wasn't anywhere near him. Last week he started to get on my nerves the way he got sick all the time. Then this morning, I noticed how his eyes were too small and his face was a little too old, a little too mature. His voice is too deep and his hair is all wrong."

"Sounds like grown-up Quatre. Think about it, Quatre three years older."

Trowa looked at her as if she grew a second head.

"What? Haven't you thought about it?"

"I can't believe you think he's Quatre. This guy is nothing like him. They just have the same name and that's it. He's not sweet and not even the least bit apologetic."

Catherine smiled before leaning forward and poking his nose. His reaction was to scratch it and look at her in question.

"Trowa, I was just saying what you wanted to hear. It's already obvious that you want this guy to be him."

"Is it wrong to wish so?"

"Who said it was?"

Trowa eyed her with apprehension.

"What are you trying to say?" he asked.

Catherine sighed before starting her little lecture. It always helped to point things out to him.

"Trowa, it doesn't matter if he's Quatre or some other guy who happened to have the same name and the same hair color. Just be nice. I'm sure that if he is Quatre and he's just trying to hide it, he'll tell you in time and I'll personally castrate him for putting you through all this. If he isn't then don't blame him for not being able to fill in the gap."

He nodded and sipped his tea again. It was conceivable that his obsession with trying to find Quatre drove him to the revulsion of those that belonged in the opposite category. Cathy was right. The guy didn't deserve his wrath.

"On a lighter note, you were jealous weren't you?"

Trowa sputtered his tea all over the coffee table. It was the last question he expected her to ask. 

"Wha... Where did that come from?"

"It was all over you face when you came in through the door. So, did you insult his girlfriend in any way?"

Trowa quickly picked up a napkin from the kitchen and came back to wipe his mess. He didn't even consider it until Cathy mentioned it. It was like she had some kind of psychic power.

"For your information, she's his good friend, not girlfriend."

"So, I was right. Come on! Tell me the details."

"I haven't met her yet," Trowa said before sitting back and crossing his arms. The truth was that he didn't even want to meet her. "I just commented on this 'good friend's' lack of common sense and he hit me. What was I supposed to do, tell him I wanted to meet her so she could smack me in person?"

"You're such a baby."

He wasn't able to counter because before he could speak, the phone rang. He waited for her to take the call and come back to discuss the matter further. What he didn't expect was for the call to be his. He cursed something under his breath when she called for him and he reluctantly made his face visible over the vid-phone.

"What do you want Duo?"

"Look at you, beaten by the baby. I knew you'd be embarrassed and run away to the circus."

"What do you want?" Trowa repeated.

"Sheesh, someone's really not in the mood for peaceful talk right now. I just wanted to tell you that we're picking you up in a few minutes. Something came up. I'll talk to you later."

The line went dead and Trowa was left to wonder what that something was. It was too bad since he wanted to stay at Catherine's place a little longer. He thought about visiting again soon. She did make a point in her little lecture. For now he just had to be nice, as nice as he could possibly muster.


	7. Part Seven

**Memento [Part Seven]**

Something came up. It was hardly the scenario he imagined in his head. He would have preferred one of those dangerous assignments that got his blood running but this was tedious nonsense. It was too easy it made him yawn every five minutes.

"Oh c'mon! Don't start showing off again. You know we can't do this without you. We could aim but this is a whole different kind of aiming," Duo said, shaking Trowa out of his boredom.

It was hardly the job he thought of before leaving his sister's place in a hurry. Now he had to reschedule his visit and face the rest of his colleagues with his bruised face.

"What did you tell him?" Heero asked all of a sudden. It was usually the easiest way to find out the source of the injury.

"Nothing much," he answered. If Quatre had told them his version then it was fine with him. At least that way, he'd be able to figure out what he did wrong in the first place.

"He looked pretty upset when we picked him up," Wufei said.

Trowa didn't answer but he noticed that everyone else wanted answers. In truth, he couldn't understand how the spur-of-the-moment comment he made could have bothered Quatre that much.

"Where is he?" he asked, for the first time noticing that Quatre wasn't around. They'd never left him alone longer than an hour and it was strange to find him nowhere in sight. 

"He's at Relena's place."

It was hardly the answer he expected. It would have made sense to bring him along instead. Relena was a hot target herself.

"You better have a good explanation for taking him there," he said, starting to wake up from his boredom. "Not only is she busy, she also has an army of snipers waiting for her."

"He will be safer there for now," Heero said. "Besides, he got an ulcer before we left and I doubt you would want us to bring someone clutching his stomach for the ride. There's too much turbulence around this area."

"Yeah, one more disease to add to the list," Duo added and put his arms behind his head. "That doctor's visit didn't seem to help."

Trowa turned his head to look at Duo. It was the first time he noticed that the man was unusually sullen, a bit cheery but too serious to decipher anything. He began to wonder just what he did wrong this time.

"Care to fill me in on why you have that look?" Trowa asked.

"You don't have to be such a cold-hearted bastard all the time you know." There was an accusatory tone in Duo's voice. He wasn't even looking directly at Trowa.

"I didn't leave him. He left me," Trowa answered. He didn't know what it was about that statement coming from his mouth that made him cringe. 

"Thanks. You won't believe how many questions that answers," Duo said.

"Continue this conversation later. The aircraft is coming into view," Wufei interrupted. He was in the co-pilot's seat, taking over the controls when he realized that Trowa wasn't going to pay attention any time soon. As soon as their 'mini-mission' was over, he was going to make sure that the continued conversation wouldn't take a wrong turn.

"Just stick the nozzle in the aircraft's tank so we could get this over with, Trowa," Heero said. "We still have to pick Quatre up before heading home."

===

It was hypnotizing. The sweet sound of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake was filling the air with tranquility. It was as if he was dreaming and at the same time being unconsciously led into the music room, the place he never allowed himself to step through in what seemed like ages. Lead by the music, he opened the door to Relena's luxurious music room and stepped in.

What he saw in there was not quite what he expected. Quatre was seated by the piano, playing calmly just as he imagined. What surprised him, however, was the position he was in. His legs were curled up to his chest, his chin was rested on his knees, and his hands reached out to the keys. Trowa assumed that it was the result of having to clutch his stomach. Still, it was a mystery how he managed to play despite being in such an awkward position.

"Do you play the violin?" he asked all of a sudden, unaware that he was interrupting. It was the most natural thing to ask after all.

"Hmm," Quatre said, looking up to meet his guest. "Can I help you?"

His hands were still working on the keys and his face conveyed that of confusion. His eyes looked weary, his hair was in disarray and his pajamas were rumpled. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed, which was probably the case. What bothered Trowa more was the fact that Quatre looked disoriented. He didn't know what to think of it. He looked perfectly fine when they parted a few hours ago.

"Quatre?" he asked, unsure of what else to say.

"So we know each other," Quatre stated calmly, finally letting go of his hands on the keys when the piece ended.

The simple statement was more eerie than it was intended to be. Trowa blamed it on the endless list of medication Quatre was taking but he couldn't tell for sure. There was something wrong with him. He just couldn't pinpoint what it was.

"Come to think of it, what am I doing here?" he asked. Trowa was inclined to take a step back. "I don't remember living in such a big place," he continued.

Trowa decided that he was going to leave while he still had the chance. Whatever was happening, he couldn't really understand. Both the silence and Quatre's sudden change was enough to make him move quickly toward the still open door.

"Are you leaving already?" Quatre asked. His face didn't convey that of disappointment, just curiosity. "We just met. Would you care to indulge me in a conversation?" Trowa reached for the door. "Oh, I must have missed answering your question earlier. Could you repeat it for me?"

Trowa tried again. Perhaps he had to talk to him and find out which one of them was really loosing it.

"Do you play the violin?" he asked again.

"Violin?" Quatre said and then placed his head on his knees sideways, looking up into the ceiling and then at Trowa to answer the question. "I can only play the piano," he said. "Why do you ask? Do you play the violin?"

Trowa shook his head. He was unsure of who he was talking to. 

"I just miss hearing the sounds from the violin," he said. It was true and as much as he wanted to deny it, the sounds coming from the piano was just as sweet a lullaby as the sounds from the violin could have been.

Quatre nodded and then stretched his arms before facing the piano once again. "I can't grant your request but since you've been a very good acquaintance, I'll give you the honor of picking what I should play next," he said.

Before Trowa could speak up, he heard another voice. He was displeased with the interruption and looked to the source of it. He was surprised to find a woman run past him and toward Quatre. He didn't know if he was supposed to stop her. He was just as confused as anybody else so he simply watched her from his position halfway in and halfway out the door.

"Quatre," she said. It was apparent that she knew him.

"Lara?" he asked. "What am I supposed to be doing here?"

Trowa continued to watch. So, the 'good friend' had finally come. She didn't look the least bit harmful and actually looked really sweet, someone who could be trusted.

"It's fine Quat," he heard her say. "You were just getting another one of those episodes."

All of a sudden, Trowa felt like he was intruding on something. For the first time, he truly felt like he was the stranger. He felt like this Quatre really was somebody else. How else would he have known who she was when he didn't even recognize him?

When he saw Quatre lean over to place his head on her shoulder he knew it was the final straw. All the worry and the pity he felt for him was replaced with that of bitter resentment. He was ready to scream.

Before he could make a fool of himself, he quickly walked out of the room and into the area where the others were waiting. They asked him what was wrong but he ignored all their questions. It was no good to say anything when he didn't know how to say it. He felt betrayed although he was never really deceived in the first place. That alone was enough to keep him quiet the rest of the way back to his apartment.

===

"Alzheimer's," she said. "I work with the elderly who are suffering from Alzheimer's disease."

Trowa was not interested. After waking up to his annoying radio clock yet again, he was in no mood to listen to the woman blabber about herself. Of course, it wasn't really blabbering. When he arrived early in the morning, he found Heero, Duo and Wufei attacking her with questions. She just happened to be around, apparently a victim of their curiosity. Therefore, she wasn't blabbering. She was simply the blabber receptor.

"Boy, that must really be hard work," Duo said. 

Trowa ignored all of them and continued to refill his cup with hot water. He took a tea bag from one of the boxes and then dipped it in. Lara, was it? The woman had charm. She managed to get Wufei interested in her work and she managed to get past Heero's constant suspicion of strangers. She sounded interesting but Trowa would never admit it. From day one, he'd already had a sour aversion to her name.

"Not really," she answered. "Hey, Trowa, care to join in?" she asked.

So, she was pleasant too. It seemed that she knew all of them from the few minutes that she'd been around. 

Trowa threw the tea bag in the trash and stepped out the door.

"Tro, watch your manners!" he heard Duo call out from the closed door and continued to his new destination. The briefing room sounded like the most appealing place to spend the rest of his morning break. He was sure that nobody else would think to use the room. It was cozy enough with a couch on one end. It was too quiet but it would do.

He walked passed the offices, ignoring every single greeting or inquiry he received and walked into the briefing room. He turned the doorknob and stopped midway when he noticed that there was somebody else in the room. He immediately stepped out.

"Don't worry. It's not contagious," Quatre said from inside the room.

Trowa stopped midway from closing the door. He'd already been noticed and it was no use trying to leave.

"Exactly what is not contagious?" he asked, still positioned by the door with his hand on the knob. He couldn't see Quatre from his position but he could hear him clear enough.

"Trowa, I don't know why you're trying to avoid me but you're welcome to join me if you want to."

Trowa rolled his eyes and then opened the door all the way. The day before it was 'who are you, you very friendly stranger?' and all of a sudden they were buddies on a name-calling basis again. Trowa certainly hoped that it wasn't a game Quatre was playing because it was making him more irritable than anything else.

"I was just," he started and then noticed all the papers that were scattered on the large briefing table. There was a calculator, a ruler, a pencil and other oddly shaped measuring devices on top of the papers. Quatre was on the couch, half laying down with a pencil in one hand and a few papers on the other. He was wearing a different pair of glasses and had his shirt slightly open, looking at Trowa from his half-reclined position. He looked smart, he looked busy, but most of all, he looked mouth-watering.

Trowa wanted to slap himself. 

"You don't have to make up an excuse," Quatre said. 

It was driving Trowa nuts. One day he looked like he was ready to keel over and the next day, he looked ready to kill.

"Who said I was making up excuses?" Trowa said.

Quatre gave him a knowing look. 

"Sure, you were just on your way to your office at the other end of the hallway far away from here or to the snack area at the other end of the building. Don't worry. I won't bother you if you don't want me to."

"What are you doing?" Trowa asked. It was obvious that he was changing the subject.

"Working," Quatre answered and then looked back at the papers he had in his hand. Trowa watched him erase a few numbers and replace them with different ones. He had to remind himself that this Quatre was an engineer.

"I thought you were off work for as long as you were with us."

"Wrong," Quatre said. "How else would I feed myself?"

Trowa sat down to look at the papers that were scattered on the table, making sure not to spill his tea on any of the documents. He did recognize some of them because he worked as a mechanic before he became a Gundam pilot. These, however, were a little beyond his comprehension. 

"You look well off for someone who has to do all this work," Trowa said. "You just got yourself a new pair of glasses and a new outfit after all."

"So you noticed," Quatre said, putting down the papers he was looking through on the ground. He twirled his pencil between his fingers and looked at Trowa. "They're a present from Lara," he said. "She said my former choice of clothing had the tendency to ward people off. I see that she made the right choice. I haven't effectively warded you off yet."

Trowa smirked. He did always hate the way this Quatre carried himself but he never thought that he looked hideous. In fact, he thought this Quatre, or any other variation of Quatre for that matter, would look delectable even with the most horrendous set of clothes on him.

"You look happy today," Quatre said. It was apparent that he was unaware of what was going through Trowa's mind.

"You look healthy today," Trowa said in response. "No illnesses? No dementia? I'm surprised."

"Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?" Quatre said. He didn't look annoyed, just amused with the sudden change in Trowa's attitude. 

"It's your choice," Trowa said and then sipped his quickly cooling tea. He noticed another cup at the end of the table and looked in to see coffee. It wasn't just any coffee. It was black. His husband did have a strong aversion to coffee so it was strange to find his look-a-like drinking the detested substance.

"What are you working on?" Trowa started. It was nice to talk after depriving himself of conversation ever since he came to work in the morning. "Are you working on mobile suits?"

"Not quite," Quatre answered. "Right now I'm working on a device that will make construction out in space easier. The mobile suits that are available now lack the ability to make fine touch adjustments."

"Fine touch adjustments?" Trowa asked. A picture of his beloved Heavyarms came to mind. It had been a while since he'd even thought about mobile suits.

Quatre reached his hand out and grasped something invisible in the air. He motioned, turning a small knob and looked with concentration at what he was doing.

"Imagine a device," he said. "Imagine a device that will make those big, clunky mobile suit hands even more dexterous than the human hand. Imagine an extension of your hand for making repairs just outside the colonies. There would no longer be any need for those non-ergonomically sound control sticks."

"You're pretty confident about your work," Trowa said. He was amazed at how much he did enjoy talking to Quatre now that he'd given himself the chance to do so. He was more interesting than he initially thought. His ideas were a far cry from his Quatre's business talk but it was just as fascinating. Maybe Catherine's advice was still the best after all.

"That's because I like my work," Quatre said.

Trowa looked at him again. Staring at him was the only thing he could really get himself to do.

"What did I say?" Quatre asked, surprised at Trowa's scrutiny.

"Doesn't it bother you that you're sick all the time?"

Trowa didn't know what he was thinking. In fact, that was the last question he wanted to ask. In spite of that, there were some things his mind wanted to seek out and the topic he brought up was one of them. It sounded rude but he wanted to know.

"Actually, I don't mind. Do you find that odd?"

Trowa nodded in response while sipping his tea.

"I thought as much," Quatre said. "Illness is one of those stigmas that is blamed on the victim despite the victim's lack of control over it. Everybody says exercise more, eat right, live well but they find themselves flabbergasted when the same illness plagues them despite all their precautions. It's complex, Trowa. You can't control everything. The extent of your control can never be ultimate."  


Trowa was surprised to find himself thinking about what he said. All of a sudden, he felt ashamed for all his earlier assumptions about the man. There was more to him than the picture of the man lying dormant in his sickness. 

"Don't think about it too much," Quatre said, interrupting his thoughts. "It usually drives people insane, my line of reasoning, that is."

Before Trowa could say anything, he was cut off, for the second time, by Quatre's 'good friend'. Quatre's good friend was what he preferred to call her now.

"Quat! It's time to take your medication and what is with that look? You're going to get a cold. Are you flaunting yourself? If I'd known better I'd think that you were trying to seduce someone."

"Speaking of control," Quatre said as he sat up and was greeted by his friend. He rolled his eyes when she began buttoning up his shirt all the way to the top. It looked like she wanted to choke him.

"Easy on the buttons," Trowa said. "You're strangling him and besides, he looked more enticing with the former look."

Lara choked and Quatre laughed.

"What have you two been doing in here?" she asked and continued to cough and look at Trowa in disbelief. "According to Duo, you're the most reserved of the group. Am I missing something here?"

Trowa stood up and threw his now empty cup in the trash. 

"I think Quatre's hot," he simply stated and then left the room.


	8. Part Eight

**Memento [Part Eight]**

"You were right."

Trowa was reclined on the couch, balancing a glass figurine at the tip of his index finger. A few days had passed since his fateful meeting with Quatre in one of the secluded briefing rooms and he was now on his day-off, lounging around his sister's place. Sometimes he did enjoy doing nothing. With the many adventures that came with his job, it was no wonder he was as lazy as a couch potato when he had the chance to be.

"I knew I was," Cathy answered as she came out from her room in her performer's costume. She was wearing a tight, colorful leotard that ended with a ruffle. Tonight, it was the dagger act for her. "You should bring him over," she suggested, retrieving her daggers from a box and checking them under the light.

"You shouldn't be suggesting a visit when you're playing with those," Trowa answered, looking at her reprovingly and pointing to her hands. "I can't help but feel like you're planning to skewer him."

"Hey, I play nice," she said. "You've been talking about him a lot but you haven't brought him over yet. What? Is there some sort of conspiracy around him going on that I don't know about?"

"He's under house arrest like I've said a thousand times before. I'm picking him up tonight since it's my turn to take him in. Maybe you could come over for a visit and see him for yourself."

"We're moving after tonight's performance Trowa. I don't think I could come over."

"Suit yourself," Trowa said as he stood up and placed the glass figurine back on top of the coffee table. "Thanks for the cookies and the tea. Maybe I'll visit you up at the colonies if we get an assignment there." He grabbed his jacket and kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry; I'll call you if anything happens."

Trowa grabbed his keys before heading off to Heero's place. He was thrilled at the prospect of keeping Quatre with him for a week. In the few days that he actually stopped ignoring the man, he learned quite a number of things about him. He knew for sure that although he looked like his husband, he was certainly a different person. Every now and then, he would notice a slight similarity but more often than not, the differences were so salient that the small similarities were eventually overthrown and forgotten.

Driving the almost empty road, he thought about his newfound ease with the new Quatre. Although something was nagging at him at the back of his brain about the prospect of betrayal, he saw no harm in pursuing his own pleasures for the time being. The simple longing he felt was instantly replaced with that of mindless intoxication that was caused by simply being near the man. He didn't dare think it but somehow, it was quite inevitable that he would fall into the trap of desire once again.

He smiled to himself and drove further, making sure that he didn't miss the turn to Heero's place. 

It was both nice and confusing, the feeling he'd been getting. He was starting to have new images about Quatre when his phone suddenly went off. He groaned before picking it up with the push of a button. 

"What?" he asked, not looking at the incoming video.

"You're late. My meatloaf won't wait for you."

Trowa rolled his eyes. Knowing Heero, the meatloaf probably wasn't even cooked yet.

"Now, now Heero, no lying on the phone," he heard Duo warn from the background.

"Jesus, I think the abominable piece of meat is going to move at any moment," he heard Wufei add in.

"Heero, give the meat another 15 minutes. I won't be there for another five but I'd like to make sure I won't eat anything raw tonight," Trowa said.

"Who said it was raw?" Heero defended.

"Heero, put that phone down! Your so-called roasted meatloaf, which is still twitching might I add, is making Quatre queasy. I think he's going to throw up."

Before Trowa could say anything, the line was disconnected. He shook his head in disbelief. One of these days, someone had to tell Heero that rare meatloaf wasn't the same thing as rare steak. While rare steak was good, rare meatloaf was abhorring. He started to wonder how Quatre was doing. He had no doubt about it that the man had already started throwing up and that Wufei had already sneaked into the kitchen to put the half-done meat back into the oven.

"And here we are," Trowa said as he stepped on the break and parked his vehicle, taking the key off the ignition. 

He looked for Heero's key under one of the large potted plants and stuck it in the slot before opening the door. He took his shoes off and made his way to the kitchen where he knew the meat needed rescuing. Wufei was by the oven, just as he predicted, placing the half-done meat back in.

"Mind if I save the meatloaf?" Trowa asked.

Wufei looked up to see Trowa standing at the other end of the oven. 

"Be my guest," he said, placing their dinner on top of the counter.

Trowa opened the refrigerator to find something that would give the meat more flavor. He then opened the cupboard to find the spices. Heero's cooking was not too bad but there were those isolated times when it was close to disaster considering his love for the partially bloody, partially alive variety.

"Where are they?" Trowa asked, shaking the bottle of spices into the meat.

"Quatre's throwing up, Duo's cheering him on and Heero's mourning the loss of his recently sanitized bathroom. Care to tell me why you're late?"

"I made a visit," he answered. "Could you cut the lemons up for me?"

Wufei reached into one of the drawers for a knife before doing what was requested of him. All the while, they were silent, working on the meat and minding their own business. A few minutes later, Duo and Heero came in to join them. Duo was still chuckling a bit but had stopped his whoops of laughter from earlier.

"I thought he'd have his things packed up by now, Heero," Trowa said without looking back to face him.

"Who said he was coming with you?" Heero answered.

The room fell silent and all of a sudden Trowa felt like there was something he was missing. Whatever it was, he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He decided to break the silence.

"He's been with you three for a week each. Isn't it supposed to be my turn?"

"You know, Tro," Duo said. "With all those pictures of him around your place, he might feel a little, you know..."

"Uneasy," Wufei continued. "There are remnants of him all over your apartment."

Trowa paused and looked up to examine each of them. It was obvious they were trying to cover for each other. They really didn't have to voice out their true feelings toward the situation since their body language said it all. They were a little too tense, a little too nervous. Wufei had stopped cutting up the lemons and Duo was facing the fridge, seeming to look for something that wasn't there. Heero was the only one really looking straight at him.

"You're a very rational guy," Heero said, voicing out what the other two couldn't. "But when it comes to one particular person, you throw that rationality out the window. You've done it before and almost got yourself killed. I'm sure you'll do it again. There's no question about it."

"You think I'm going to fuck him," Trowa stated calmly and squeezed the cut up lemon into the meat before putting it back into the oven. "Give the meat ten more minutes," he instructed and then left without another word. It didn't matter to him what they thought of so he walked away from the kitchen and back into the living room.

He wasn't surprised to find Quatre sprawled on the couch, doing another one his calculations. The room he entered into a few minutes ago was now scattered with various papers. Quatre was currently chewing on the tip of a pencil and looking thoughtfully at the paper he was holding. Trowa simply watched him, not wanting to disturb. 'Sprawled on the couch' was one of his most favorite sceneries.

"You could at least tell me why you're staring," Quatre said after a few minutes of Trowa's viewing.

"You were throwing up when I arrived. I usually greet everyone when I come in," Trowa answered.

"Where's my greeting then," Quatre asked. When Trowa didn't answer, he put his pen down on the coffee table and looked at Trowa. "You're in a bad mood," he said. "Care to tell me why?"

"Not really," Trowa answered. He sat down across from Quatre and leaned back on the seat. "So tell me, it's been a couple of weeks and you're still not used to Heero's cooking. What exactly will it get you to stomach his recipes?"

"A few of those pills ought to do it. Could you hand me those bottles?" Quatre said.

"Just open your mouth. I'll toss them in," Trowa said as he began opening the bottles. "How many of each?"

Trowa was getting ready to shake the medication off their bottles when he realized that Quatre wasn't answering. He looked up to see his companion's adamant expression.

"No way!" Quatre finally said and reached his hand out to grab the bottles. "You're going to end up choking me or hitting one of my eyes."

"What, don't you trust my aim?" Trowa asked and he received a scowl in reply. "I'm not lying," he added. The man obviously didn't know how good an aim he had. If he could do it with guns then doing it with tiny pills wasn't going to be any harder.

Quatre yielded eventually and mumbled "one each," before letting out a big sigh. Trowa knew it was his chance.

"Open up," he said and Quatre did.

Four flicks of his finger later and Quatre had four different pills lined up straight in his tongue.

"Told you so," Trowa said as he left the startled and still open-mouthed Quatre.

He walked back into the kitchen to find the other three in the same places they were, seemingly contemplating their next move. Trowa was amused to find them so worked up over something he never even said. Perhaps he presented himself as neutral most of the time that they'd forgotten how to read his face and figure out if he was sincerely angry or not. He wanted them to feel a little sorry for what went on earlier but decided against it. Duo looked much too somber to play with at the moment.

"Hey," he said as he walked in on them with the same indifferent expression he had on when he left. "Since I can't fuck him, mother, can I at least take him out tomorrow?"

Duo was the first to snap out of it, abruptly turning his head toward Trowa. 

"Jesus Christ Trowa!" he said. "You should've said you weren't pissed off at what Heero said. I thought you were going to twist my arm and break my legs while I wasn't looking. I almost pissed my pants thinking about what shit you were planning."

Trowa smirked.

"No use in getting angry. We're all blatantly honest bastards after all," he said.

"Who's the bastard?"

Four heads turned to the source of the voice and Duo put his hand over his chest. If their less than healthy ward was able to walk in on four of the best soldiers on the earth sphere then there was something seriously wrong with them.

"What, did I touch a sensitive topic?" Quatre asked.

"Trowa was just telling us that he wanted to take you out tomorrow and we were discussing the best place to situate you in case we run across any trouble."

Heero said the lie without fault and Trowa could almost see Duo's jaw drop. 

"Really guys," Quatre said as he crossed the kitchen and made his way to the refrigerator. "Lighten up. You're all too uptight it's getting too creepy around here."

"Me, uptight?" Duo asked, being the first to react. "You obviously haven't spent enough time with me, buddy." He pat Quatre's back and then led him back into the living room. "I think I better stay away from those three for a while or else I'll turn into a seriously deranged life strategist myself."

Duo winked over Quatre's shoulder before disappearing into the living room.

"Good luck," Wufei said when the two were no longer in sight. "You're going to be with Lara tomorrow so I suggest that you act a little more accommodating."

Trowa nodded.

"No! You've got the angle all wrong," Duo's voice said from the living room. "With a diameter that small it's more likely that the bigger angle won't compensate for the impact it has to go through. Trust me on it. I used to repair my own mobile suit."

Trowa listened to the conversation from the living room. Duo certainly had a way of putting Quatre at ease. He only wished that Duo would do the same for him. He had no idea Quatre's friend was going to make an appearance on his day with Quatre. There was only one thing he could really do despite still being unable to accept her - deal with it.

===

"Exactly!"

It was confusing albeit a lot more enjoyable than he predicted. She was a gregarious woman with just the right amount of charm to win anyone over. She wasn't too loud but still talkative enough to fill in the awkward pauses Trowa found himself having. The experience was annoying and yet he was enjoying himself. Trowa had to ask himself why he hated her and loved her at the same time. It seemed recently that it had become one of the things he found most intolerable.

"That's what I told him and he wouldn't believe me!" Quatre said, stepping one foot behind to get a better view of their companion.

Trowa was situated between the two friends with Lara being closest to the passing shops and Quatre being furthest from the sidewalk. He didn't understand how he ended up between them when he was the only one who didn't care for the friendly conversation.

"He sounded unsure," Trowa answered, remembering that he needed a little input in the conversation. Otherwise, it would be rude to both his companions. "I don't keep up with the news so I'll trust both your word that what I thought was wrong."

Lara smiled a bright one.

"You've got to keep up with the current events Trowa or else you'll miss the important details that might concern you the most," she said.

Trowa nodded although he was not convinced. Politics did not interest him one bit and delving into the current events forced him to face certain facts he didn't care to know about. More importantly, gossip columns were the bane to his existence. They did nothing but drive him into madness. No one could ever tell if they were contrived or if they held a deeper truth. 

"Ok you two, I've got to get back to work. Maybe we could go out again sometime. It was nice spending the afternoon with you too Trowa. Take care of Quatre for me," she said and winked at Quatre as she crossed the street and disappeared into one of the tall buildings around the area.

Maybe it was a bad idea to give her a hint on his interest in Quatre. All day she did nothing but make sure that they had something going on between them whether it be by accident or not. He was grateful in a way but he still felt like a little school boy trying to get the attention of his secret crush. He shuddered. It wasn't his style at all. 

"Should we head back?" Quatre asked, interrupting his thoughts. 

"We might as well make a quick stop for some lunch before heading back," Trowa suggested. His chances to be alone with Quatre were very few and he'd be stupid to miss any chance he got.

Not long after, they were seated at a restaurant, scrutinizing each other. Quatre, for the most part, was quiet for the first time that day and Trowa was equally as silent. It wasn't until a waiter came to refill Quatre's glass that either one said something.

"Trowa," Quatre started after taking a sip of his water. "Could I ask you something possibly personal?"

Trowa wiped his mouth with the napkin and then nodded. Quatre took it as a 'yes'.

"Who is zero-four?"

It was the last thing he thought Quatre would ask but then again, curiosity would lead anybody into questioning the arrangement of Trowa's team. They were composed of a zero-one, zero-two, zero-three and zero-five with the zero-four missing in between. It was plausible enough that maybe Quatre thought the oddity was simply an accident but Quatre was too thorough to let go of the slight distortion in the order.

"Zero-four has been missing in action for three years now," Trowa answered. The calm in his voice was unnerving, even to him. He knew that Quatre would have more questions following the first but he had long since decided that he wasn't going to hold any information from him even if it did devastate him to remember.

"He must have been someone special if you've chosen not to replace him."

Quatre was truly filled with surprises and Trowa couldn't help but look into the statement more closely. It left him wondering about the word 'replacement'. Was this Quatre giving hints or was he just an outsider, evaluating the actions of the people faced with the same situation?

"He was vital to our team," he said. "It was his strategies that made our operations more bearable than it was."

Quatre didn't look like he wanted to pry any further so the conversation was left unfinished. After paying their due and leaving the restaurant, the two walked in silence once again. Usually, the silence meant that they were comfortable walking with each other but Trowa knew it was different this time around.

"I'm sorry," Quatre said all of a sudden.

Trowa's ears picked up on the soft murmur. He didn't understand what exactly Quatre was sorry for. Was he going to confess something? Did he know something about the incident they talked about in the restaurant or was he just conjuring up too many possibilities to keep up with the one possibility he was hoping for.

"I'm sorry I dug up old memories," Quatre said. His face was sincere but it didn't hold the same apologetic look he thought he would find.

Trowa let out the breath he was holding and if Quatre noticed, he didn't say anything about it. Trowa looked at the street ahead of him. Looking closely, he noticed the world go by as it always did, leaving him behind with his fruitless hopes. Maybe it was time to let go, time to start anew. 

He put his hands inside the pocket of his coat and took a glance at Quatre. The man was looking ahead of him. It was his only chance and he was willing to risk it.

"You know," Trowa said, making sure that he wasn't looking at Quatre as he said it. "There's something I've always loved and always hated about you."

He felt Quatre look at him while he was talking but he didn't dare look back.

"You remind me of someone," he continued and began to toy with the metal band that was on his ring finger. Quatre neither stopped him nor prompted him any further. For that act alone, he was grateful. That meant that Quatre was giving him a chance to decide what he needed to say on his own. He sighed and took a chance.

"My husband looked exactly like you," he said.


	9. Part Nine

_Warning:_ Angst, Death. But it's far from over yet.

**Memento [Part Nine]**

"You were expecting that he would proclaim his undying love for you."

Trowa blinked. He was expecting a different response but what he got was close enough. Hilde Schbeiker was a listener, a very good one at that. He spent half the day looking for someone to talk to and since his sister was up in the colonies and his comrades were surprisingly busy, he opted to find her and was pleased with his discovery. Not only did her lunch break coincide with his, her interests in the matter were also similar. It was no wonder Duo fit perfectly with her.

"So does it mean that when faced with the same situation, you would have thrown yourself at me?" Trowa asked.

"Thrown is not exactly the word," Hilde answered, chewing on her homemade hamburger and dipping her fries in a tiny packet of honey mustard sauce. "It's more like 'considered'. I would've considered what you said. Besides, I wouldn't know what your intentions were exactly."

"Did I sound at all like I had bad intentions?" Trowa asked.

"Not really," she answered. "It's just a little shady."

Hilde stood up to retrieve a napkin. Seeing that Trowa wasn't even touching his lunch, she took another wrapped hamburger from her lunch bag and set it down in front of him. Trowa blinked again. It was like she had an endless supply of food inside the tiny brown paper bag. It made him wonder if Duo visited her for lunch regularly.

"Canned soup isn't exactly food," she said, taking note of his startled expression. "I'm surprised you're able to cook Duo and the others extravagant meals when you feed yourself canned soup. If I didn't know you were competent enough, I'd adopt you."

Trowa nodded his thanks before opening the wrapper and beginning to eat. Not long after his first bite, he continued with his questioning. He was confused with Quatre's reactions or lack thereof and was hoping that she would understand why. If he was such a dull companion then he had to find out just how he was supposed to fix that problem.

"Should I have kept it a secret?" he asked.

"He'd have to find out anyway," she answered. "It was better coming from you than from someone else. Are you sure he didn't say or do anything?"

Trowa thought about it again. No matter how many times he replayed it in his head, it wasn't making any sense. Quatre was neither angry nor shocked about his revelation. It took a lot of concentration and an equal amount of mind work to understand the man.

"He just said 'oh' and we continued walking back."

"Odd," Hilde said. "I guess the only way to find out is to ask him. Considering the way he's been acting, I think he'd be straightforward enough to answer you truthfully. Unless..."

"Unless what?" Trowa asked, now completely engrossed in the conversation.

"I don't know. It's been bothering me that none of you have tried to find out who he is. There's always one excuse or another. I think it would really be helpful if you know... you knew."

Trowa nodded. She was probably aware of his excuse as well. In fact, everyone was aware of his excuse. It was known to all that the 'Quatre' topic was the most well-known but least talked about topic in the organization. It wasn't because they feared him. He really didn't mind that much. What they feared the most was that the four remaining would all of a sudden work inefficiently.

Trowa thought about it again. Perhaps Une's decision to bring the new Quatre to them was somewhere along the same lines. It made sense and yet it sounded too cold for her. She may have been strict but she was nowhere near cold. It was simply her way of getting things done. He was sure that she missed Quatre's presence as well. They all did.

"At least you're not being such a snob anymore. That's a good sign," Hilde said, breaking him away from his thoughts.

Trowa almost nodded since he wasn't really concentrating on what she said but then processed the information just in time. He looked at her instead.

"I'm not a snob," he said. "Who said I was?"

"Oh, I don't know... Quatre?"

"What?" he asked again.

"Don't worry about it. He said that back when you were avoiding him like the plague."

"But..."

Before he could continue, the door to the snack room opened to reveal Wufei. He had a serious look on his face that projected waves of anger more than anything else. Trowa wondered what could get him so worked up. Surely it wasn't any of Sally's silly games since he'd never seriously taken those to heart. It was something else and he didn't dare ask what it was.

"We're needed," was all Wufei said before signaling for Trowa to follow him. He acknowledged Hilde's presence respectfully by bowing his head in greeting but continued on. He was sure that Trowa was going to follow after all.

Trowa did follow but not before thanking Hilde for both the lunch and the conversation. He watched Wufei move through the corridors while he followed behind. When Wufei said 'we', he assumed it was the four of them. It was funny how they were now considered 'the four of them' when they were missing zero-four. He shook his head. It was no good to make silly analogies.

What was most important then was to find out why they were being called. He knew it was suicide to question Wufei about it when he was clearly not in the mood but he at least wanted to know why he was being summoned in the middle of his lunch break. He hadn't even finished his meal after all.

"What is it supposed to be about?" he asked.

"I don't know yet," Wufei answered. "It's supposed to be an emergency meeting."

Trowa nodded although he knew that Wufei didn't see it. To him, emergency meeting sounded nothing more than a regular meeting besides the sheer fact that it came with the word emergency before it. In fact, he hated to word emergency just because the sound of it was never good.

"Hurry up. I'd like to know what this is about," Wufei said, not really pushing him forward but walking faster instead. It had the same effect either way.

Trowa followed him at a faster pace and was lead into one of the bigger conference rooms. The first person he saw was Duo who was currently fidgeting in his seat, seemingly agitated. The sight alone made him feel uneasy already. Heero, on the other hand, was a little less obvious. The only indication that he was edgy was the continuous tapping of his pen on the desk. It was annoying but it seemed to calm Duo somewhat and that was probably the only reason why nobody stopped him. There was something he wasn't aware of, he deduced, being the only one in the room calm at the moment. Then again, he was always calm.

Wufei took his seat next to Sally and Trowa remained standing for a bit longer. He took that chance to survey his companions. Not very many people were present. Seated were Une, Sally, Wufei, Heero and Duo. He assessed the situation to be less than dramatic since the more prominent members of the organization were nowhere to be seen.

Trowa nodded in greeting after his quick survey and sat down next to Duo. Time seemed to stand still while the four were waiting for whatever news was going to be reported. Une, with her usual clam stare was eyeing them one by one. It seemed like she was measuring them up. No one pressured her to begin and yet she looked obliged to tell them the reason why she had called them.

"We have information on the whereabouts of Quatre," she said, making sure to use his name rather than his code name.

"And?" Duo asked. He'd already stopped moving about in his chair and was now trying to break in half the same pen Heero was holding earlier. 

"We found him."

The pen Duo was abusing snapped in half. 

Une's statement left many questions unanswered which caused Trowa a lot of annoyance. She was only dragging the matter. He wanted answers and he wanted the bearers of the news to get to the point.

"Where is he?" he asked. He looked to the others to find that they were avoiding his gaze. There was definitely something he didn't know. He would have to question them later.

"He's here," Sally answered for Une when she didn't make a move to answer the question. "...or rather, part of him is."

"You mean the same skinny, nerdish guy we're babysitting?" Duo asked, looking hopeful.

But Trowa didn't feel hopeful at all. Instead, he felt confused not knowing exactly what he wanted. He'd already spent most of his time thinking about the 'what ifs'.

"I'm afraid not."

Trowa was relieved somewhat although ten times more confused that he already was. At least they'd found him and the new Quatre was no longer the mysterious character. He only wondered about the next step. Were they going to release him from their care since he would no longer be in great danger or would they keep him because he still looked similar enough to serve as a target?

"And?" It was Wufei's turn to question. Trowa wanted to thank him and it was because no details were ever revealed unless they were pursued further. Wufei looked like the only one willing to pursue it

"Where's the body?" Heero finally spoke up and all heads present save for Trowa's whipped toward him. He could just imagine Duo and Wufei giving Heero a reprimanding look. At least Heero was gutsy enough to bring it up. It was enough of a confirmation that they knew something he didn't.

"We don't have the whole body itself," Une answered, trying to sound professional but looking disturbed. "We're missing parts... a lot of parts."

Trowa looked up to find Wufei's head drop to his folded hands. That was it then. His question was already answered and yet part of him wanted to pursue the matter further. He had a dim hope that somehow, his conclusions were his alone and that whatever theories he had were completely false. Quatre could still be alive.

"Explain 'parts'," he said, trying to be as brief and direct to the point as he could.

Sally hesitated for a moment before she cleared her throat. He observed Wufei's hand finding its way to hers underneath the table, most likely to give her the support she needed. It was a bad sign.

"So far we're retrieved his torso and two legs," she said. "They were frozen when we found them in an abandoned lab facility, somewhere close to L3."

"The results came in this morning," Une added. "We're certain it's him."

Trowa nodded and stood up just as images of his mangled, decapitated husband came to mind. Three years of waiting and trying to find answers had finally come to an end. He didn't know how to react. It was too surreal. He didn't know what was better, never finding any answers or finding out the awful truth. It was horrifying to say the least. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

Une sounded sincere and he was sure she was. Sally was apologetic too despite not taking part in any wrongdoings against him or Quatre. They were all apologetic. He had to wonder why the innocents always took the blame for something out of their hands. It was just like his husband, now that he thought about it. He was the guy who apologized for apologizing, as Duo once described him. Trowa smiled at the thought. 

He walked out the door, ignoring the sounds of Duo's quiet sobbing and Wufei's angry mutterings. At least they knew how to react to the news. He simply stood there in absolute silence, not knowing what to do. He only wondered what Heero was doing. 

He didn't know how long he stood there and he didn't know where he was, not until he felt several pairs of arms wrapped around him. It was obvious who the owners of the arms were. They were never really touchy guys but the impact of the news was a little more than disturbing. Just how many people were sick enough to do such a thing?

"You knew something but didn't tell me," Trowa stated in a whisper. He didn't have to ask because he already knew. He was completely overwhelmed and yet he was surprised by how clam he was. 

"You were all busy this morning. I could tell there was something wrong. It was in the newspaper, wasn't it? I don't really keep up with the news so that must be it."

Nobody was answering him but he decided to continue in the same soft and even voice. He didn't know if they were even hearing him above their sounds of mourning but he had to talk. His lack of a more humane reaction was unnerving him.

"You saw it didn't you, the pictures? It must have been too terrifying to describe even. He... I want him checked."

He felt them let go of him. They probably thought he was starting to talk nonsense. He couldn't blame them. They knew nothing of what was going on in his head.

"I want him checked!" he suddenly said and ran forward.

"Oh, shit!" he heard Duo say. "Who's 'he'?"

"No way in hell," was the last thing he heard. He knew Heero would be the first to find out.

He made two turns before ending up in front of the same door he knew was the right one and all but dismantled the offending doorknob in his rage. He saw Quatre taking a nap on the couch and hurled a chair across the room to wake him up. It was difficult to see someone he knew wasn't really there. It was like stepping into an illusion that filled the need and yet took away twice as much. He was Quatre but he would never really be his deceased husband.

He smashed his fist against a wall and this time, Quatre's eyes immediately snapped open to regard him.

"Trowa?" he asked.

Before Trowa could come any closer, Heero was already there to block him off. He was serious and it was obvious that Heero was too. Aside from the quick swipe of his hand through his red eyes, nobody would have known that Heero Yuy was crying. 

Quatre looked at him with a puzzled expression from behind Heero.

"I want him checked!" Trowa said as loud as he could. By that time, a small crowd was gathering by the broken door.

"There's no way you're getting your hands on him," Heero answered in a tone so cold it made Quatre wonder.

"Out of the way Heero," he said. "I want to know who he is."

"Trowa, what's wrong?" Quatre braved to ask. He looked a lot more concerned than he did many times before but it was obvious that he didn't know what was going on. "Is there something..."

Trowa's hand went to cover his face.

"Stop it!" he said.

"Stop what Trowa?" Quatre asked while Heero chose to remain silent. He didn't say anything but he wasn't leaving his position either.

"Stop it. I can't stand it!" Trowa said again.

Duo and Wufei had finally caught up by then and were trying to push the onlookers back. Wufei wasn't in any mood to deal with them and barked orders instead before putting the dismantled door back together. It wasn't perfect but at least it gave them a little more privacy. Duo, on the other hand, was preparing to restrain Trowa if need be. From Heero's position shielding Quatre, it was not unthinkable that he was going to move forward. Trowa was a dangerous man, especially when it came to Quatre.

"I can't stand it," Trowa said again, this time softer than he did before.

"What is it Trowa? What can't you stand?" Quatre asked as gently as he could. 

It was then that Trowa collapsed to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably on the floor. Nobody could really understand what he was saying although the repeated phrase eventually became clearer.

"I can't stand it," he kept on whispering between sobs. "...the way you say my name."


	10. Part Ten

**Memento [Part Ten]**

It was white. The walls were so white he got dizzy just looking at it. In fact, not only were the walls too white, everything was too sterile as well. Germs would have shuddered at the sight of it. Now that he was there, he didn't ever remember being in a hospital for anytime longer than a day. 

"Winner, Quatre. What room number?"

"205," a nurse answered almost immediately. They were frightened of his presence; he could tell. "Just go straight ahead and turn left."

He nodded in thanks and continued walking; looking at the room numbers to make sure he didn't miss it. It was strange how he ended up there or rather, how Quatre ended up there.

He remembered being tranquilized during his momentary abandon, only to wake up a few hours later calmer than he'd ever been. He took the time to compose himself before once again demanding for a test to find out once and for all who the other guy really was.

In his moment of conviction, he'd forgotten about Quatre's established ill health and ended him up in a hospital. And they all thought he was the person who needed it more. He shook his head. Quatre definitely needed more body mass and a stronger immune system.

"There he was, naked as the day he was born, taking my call and asking me to marry him. I mean, I understand that he was sleep-walking but dear god, he should have had a little bit of decency to put something on. That's when I called the guys. Before Heero woke up that day, he had a fake marriage license and a complimentary picture of Hilde, him and I naked on the bed."

Trowa paused and looked up to check the number of the room. It was 205 and the voice coming from inside the room was Duo's. The laughter, however, was Quatre's. He was sure then that he was in front of the right door. He knocked twice before entering.

The room fell silent almost immediately. Trowa found Duo seated at the foot of the bed, most likely in the middle of one of his rather animated narrations and Quatre was reclined on the bed, looking down at his folded hands. They were obviously both alarmed to see him there.

"Continue. I'm taking him elsewhere."

Trowa recognized the voice as Heero's. The man had successfully sneaked behind him without notice. He felt Heero tug at his arm but he didn't move. He did absolutely nothing wrong and he was not about to get a lecture from Heero. He'd much rather have his ears chopped off.

"I'm not saying it twice," Heero said.

This time, Trowa complied and was lead into one of the larger waiting areas just next to surgery. It was a private room and no one was in there. Actually, nobody but Wufei was in there.

"I dare you to tell me what I did wrong," Trowa started. He saw where this was going and he was going to stand his ground whether Heero liked it or not.

"You've got his blood samples, urine samples, saliva extracts; you name it. You've got every possible body fluid in a bottle. You've stripped searched him from head to toe. Shall I go on?"

Trowa stared at him hard, daring him to provoke a more emotional response from him.

"They were needed for the tests and I didn't require any of those fluids myself. They were part of the procedure," he answered.

"Did you even consider how many pints of blood they practically pumped out for all those different tests?" Heero said. His voice was quiet and even but filled with emotion.

Wufei, however, kept silent, serving as their buffer that time around. Duo was much too occupied to play peacekeeper.

"I didn't know he was anemic," was all Trowa said.

Heero spouted obscenities and Trowa had no idea what half of them meant.

"What is it, Heero?" Trowa decided to ask. "What vested interest do you have in my problems?"

Heero punched the wall right next to Trowa's head although the impact of the punch was made just enough so that he wouldn't end up destroying hospital property. Neither one of them flinched.

"I know it's difficult," Wufei decided to cut in. The time seemed best. "I don't know exactly how difficult it is for either of you but this story isn't over yet. I could step back and let you two pummel each other to the ground but I expect you to act civilized."

Heero didn't waste any time and continued on with his half of the story.

"You're not the only one messed up by all this," he said. "We all are. Duo hasn't left Quatre alone and both Wufei and I haven't slept a minute since we found out about it. All I ask for you is to leave the remaining Quatre out of this."

Trowa didn't look like he was listening and it proved to anger Heero even more. Sometimes Trowa's indifferent take of the world was infuriating.

"He has nothing to do with this," Heero continued. "I don't want him ending up as messed up as we are. You know exactly what you're doing. You're digging his grave right next to ours."

"I just want answers," Trowa said. "I don't know what you expect me to do but this is a little too hard to take. I never meant for anything to end up this way but that's how it goes."

He didn't say any more and exited the room, eager to go back and check up on Quatre and Duo. If they were still scared of him then so be it. He did feel guilty for demanding several things while looking like he was going to murder them. He was angry but he didn't mean to be so livid.

"I'm coming in," he said when he reached the intended door.

Before he could turn the doorknob, he was alerted by one of the nurses with a phone call. Apparently, someone was resourceful enough to track him down to the hospital. It could only be one person.

"My god, Trowa, don't look at the newspapers!"

Too late. There was one right next to the vid-phone. Lucky for Cathy and for him too that the particular headline didn't have any graphic images attached. There was simply a picture of Quatre, smiling for a photo shoot taken a few years back.

"Don't worry about it Cathy," he said. He didn't want to worry her more than she already was.

"Do you want me to come over?" she asked. "I can catch the next shuttle back."

Trowa thought about it. All other times he would have practically begged her to come but for some reason his confidence levels were high. There must have been something amiss with the tranquilizers. Either that, or there was still one Quatre left to satiate his grief this time around.

"No. I'll be fine," he answered. "I know you're supposed to be performing tonight so I'll call you later instead."

"Are you sure?" she asked again. The expression on her face said it all.

"Yeah," he answered. "Just try to concentrate or you might cut off someone's finger."

"Alright," she answered. That was what he liked best about her. She didn't insist on anything and trusted his word, always willing to let him handle things on his own when he had to. 

"If you don't make that promised call though, I'm calling you."

But that didn't mean that she wasn't upset either.

"Sure."

The call was disconnected and Trowa had to again remember what he was supposed to do before the call. He didn't even get the chance to think when another call came through. Speaking of another resourceful woman... Relena sure knew how to find any of them at any given moment in time.

"I heard about it," said her frightened voice as her face slowly came into view. "Just tell me if you need anything done and I'll get right to it."

That was what was great about her. Although a little too busy sometimes, Relena took it upon herself to take care of them whenever they needed it. It was next to impossible to get her to spend quality time with them but her political ties were more than enough to aid them many times before. She was the person who took over when Quatre could no longer cover up for them.

"We'll be fine for now although I don't know how long," he said, glancing at the room he was intending to enter. "I'm a bit lost... I don't think I'd be the one you'd like to talk to right now."

Trowa looked anywhere but at the screen. He knew she had that face, the same face he saw when Quatre had gone missing years back. It was sympathy beyond all else but it was the kind that made him understand the gravity of the situation. He hated seeing the truth in her eyes.

"I don't know what to say," she said.

He nodded. She was smart enough when to stop questioning and just be there for quiet support. He didn't need to hear any 'I'm sorry' speeches. After all, it was a ploy used by spectators to trivialize a loss. It was nothing more to him than an automatic response fueled by necessity.

"Thank you," was all he said.

There was an awkward pause before Wufei stepped in from who knows where to continue the conversation with Relena. While he did like the quiet sympathy, he was eager to see Quatre. It was a craving almost close to an addiction.

"You go ahead. I'll tell her what needs to be done."

Again, Trowa nodded and then stepped back into the hallway to find the room he was looking for. When he heard Duo's voice, he didn't need to look up. He knew he was in the right place for sure.

"No way I'm leaving him," he heard Duo say. "Heero, let go of me."

He turned his head to find Heero tugging on Duo's arm just as was done to him earlier. It was becoming a pattern, he noticed.

"I'm not saying it twice."

Duo complied this time and Heero took that time to give Trowa a warning stare. He stared back at him indifferently, knowing just what it meant. When the two cleared the doorway, he came into Quatre's room and noticed the other's lack of greeting. In fact, Quatre was still finding that interesting spot on his folded hands fascinating.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked anyway.

Quatre looked up, wide-eyed before nodding. Trowa chose to occupy the position Duo had been in earlier at the foot of the bed. It was still warm and cozy after all.

"You know, I usually don't go into any temper tantrums," he started. "So you shouldn't look at me like I'm going to bite your head off."

That seemed to calm Quatre down a little as he looked up to meet Trowa's gaze.

"And I thought you wanted me dead," Quatre said and Trowa's instant reaction was to tense up.

"It's the last thing I would want," he said. 

"Oh! I guess I shouldn't have said that," Quatre said right away. He looked even more nervous after the slip.

"There's no reason why you shouldn't be completely sincere with me. I may be mourning but I'm not fragile."

Quatre looked at him.

"You know I didn't mean it that way, right?"

"Yeah," Trowa answered. "Although I still find your ability to apologize without saying it out loud rather fascinating."

Quatre didn't answer this time and looked down at his hands instead. He was nervous. In fact, they were both nervous. There was just something difficult about trying to be completely honest without being insensitive.

"But if you don't mind me asking," Trowa started again, this time changing the subject. It was the best method to ward off any nervous discomfort. "Where did you get the scar?"

Quatre blinked. He must have forgotten that he had one. Trowa began to wonder. During his frenzied hysteria, he managed to get Quatre's shirt off, much to Duo's dismay, and found that the single scar he was looking for turned into one disturbing sight.

He remembered an earlier encounter in which he'd seen the scar, back at his doctor's clinic. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw that the long line that started on Quatre's back continued on, all the way to his stomach. Unfortunately, that same ugly line erased any trace of every other scar along the way. It was quite impossible to distinguish any older scars that must have been there. If it was, in fact, there earlier then it must have been covered up by the huge counterpart.

"Uhh," Quatre said while Trowa thought about it more. "What were you talking about?"

"It's the large scar on your stomach," Trowa pointed out.

"Oh," Quatre answered, putting his hand over it. "That one. I got it way back when I was a kid but I don't know the details. I must have been too young to remember."

There it was again. Until the results of the tests came in, he wouldn't be able to determine if that was the real Quatre covered up or if he was someone else. Quatre, to Trowa's dismay, was much like the scar of questionable origin. He knew that plans always had flaws and although they did find part of the real Quatre, it was a probability that this Quatre was him as well. He didn't know how but his mind inexorably convinced him that anything was conceivable even if it didn't make any sense.

He sighed and decided that his inquiries were going nowhere. Since it was best that he act a little less conspicuous, Trowa decided to leave his investigation for the meantime. Something a little friendlier was best in order, both to clam Quatre down and to get his mind off dreadful thoughts.

"Do you need anything?" he asked.

Trowa shifted in his position, causing his hand to accidentally brush over Quatre's foot. It was cold as ice.

"No. I'm fine," Quatre answered, his blonde hair flying in different directions as he shook his head. It was disturbingly familiar when he didn't have his hair combed back as usual.

Trowa sighed again.

"You know, don't you?" Trowa asked although the question seemed more like a statement. 

"Duo told me," Quatre admitted. "I thought he was married to Relena Darlian."

Trowa laughed and realized that the sound was foreign even to his ears.

"Heero would have strangled him," he said. "That absurdity is one of the reasons why I don't pick up the tabloids."

"I had no idea you guys were former Gundam pilots," Quatre said.

"Yeah."

"That would explain a lot of things..."

"What, the reason why we're slightly psychotic?"

Quatre smiled.

"Actually, you all have your little quirks but then you do admit to it, right?"

Trowa felt better but something tugged at him in his head, telling him that he shouldn't be too happy yet. After all, there was still someone to mourn for. He didn't want to push Quatre away by becoming cold all of a sudden so he did the first thing that came to mind. He picked up Quatre's cold foot and began warming it up with his hands.

Quatre didn't seem to mind and looked at him gratefully instead.

"Tell me what it is," Trowa requested. "What is it you feel for me? Do you pity me? Do you feel guilty for looking like him? Do you regret that we ever came across each other?"

"It's more complicated that I could explain," Quatre answered. "I do pity the fact that you've lost your spouse but then I feel nervous both for the fact that I look like him and that I might bring you greater harm than good. I do feel guilty for coming into your life. Maybe it would have been better if it never happened but I can't stop but feel grateful that I did get to meet you. I don't regret anything and for that, I feel so ashamed."

Trowa stopped momentarily, unable to believe what he heard. He'd been having the same thoughts as well. It was very comforting to find someone else on the same boat because it felt like he wasn't alone in his confusion.

"I feel the same way too," he said, picking up Quatre's other foot. "I'm just as confused, not that I could really explain how but I do feel lost."

"Could I ask you something private?" Quatre suddenly asked.

Trowa seemed reluctant but nodded anyway.

"Are you hoping that I'm him?"

"Yes."

Quatre paused and looked at him although Trowa's attention was concentrated on the foot. 

"Maybe you'll be disappointed with the results but I know something for sure," Quatre said. "Even if I'm supposed to stay away from you I can't do it because you're almost an addiction."


	11. Part Eleven

**Memento [Part Eleven]**

Routine inspections had never been so boring. The owner of the mobile suit company was smiling too pleasantly at them it was making them sick. They were offered food and drinks while being lead around miles and miles of production equipment. Nothing was amiss but there was just something about an overly hospitable host that brought about the beginnings of doubt in their minds.

"As you can see, our mobile suits are used for nothing more than agriculture. They're 100% human friendly, 100% human-like, 100% safe and most of all 100% non-combat."

Duo grimaced. The man's grin was so broad it was making him sick. Trowa, however, didn't mind the extravagant performance and continued sipping his tea. He was almost to the bottom of the cup where the remaining honey was waiting to be licked clean. 

"Aren't their cookies great?" Duo whispered, choosing that moment to nudge Trowa. He only nodded, wiping the spilled tea off him.

"And this, gentlemen, is my pride and joy," the owner said as they came to a stop. "The Plow Master 500X. Isn't it a beauty? It spreads cow dung through a mile of land like you've never seen before."

He pushed a button and Duo burst out laughing almost instantaneously. Some of the chewed cookies were flying out of his mouth. Wufei was the one to quiet him down and haul him out of the factory.

"Please excuse him," Heero said while Wufei was busy dragging him out. "He's never seen fertilizer released through the rear of a mobile suit before."

Trowa didn't know how Heero could keep a straight face while saying it. He had to turn his back to conceal any traces of amusement. His mouth was already starting to twitch upward. It wasn't good to embarrass the man. After all, his machine, although a bit eccentric, was going to be one useful piece of equipment for the farmers in the colonies. But there was no denying the fact that a mobile suit excreting was comical in and of itself. If Quatre had come with them, he was sure that they would have been able to share a few good laughs.

"Uh, alright," the owner continued. "So as I was saying, this suit is the ultimate gardening tool. It also has a built in seeding system that embeds seeds without having to dig through the soil. Gentlemen, please observe."

Duo could be heard laughing even louder from the other end of the factory and what was surprising was that Wufei was laughing just as loud as he was. Trowa was so shocked he couldn't believe it. After the owner pushed another button, the mobile suit's mid-area opened up to release a hose-like tool that continually released seeds in great intensity that it did indeed embed the seeds in the soil.

"Man, how do you stop that thing... put a giant condom over it?" Duo yelled. Trowa and Heero excused themselves before joining in the laugher.

===

"You should've been there. It was hilarious."

After they were kicked out of the factory and pushed back into their shuttle, Duo immediately made a call and started talking non-stop when Quatre's face came into view.

"God, we all miss you Quat. Too bad Une won't let us baby-sit you anymore."

"Nah, it's alright. I've been waiting to get a new place anyway."

"So you got the apartment?"

"Yeah. I just need to buy furniture. I promise to invite you guys over for dinner when I'm done cleaning. Oh, before I forget, could you tell Heero that I'm picking up the rest of my stuff later tonight."

"No problem Quat," Duo said and pulled Trowa by his shirt to face the vid-phone. "Here, you could talk to Trowa while I tell Heero. Tro here's in need of new furniture for that apartment of his he hasn't fixed up since who knows when. I'm sure he'll come with you. We'll drop him off on the way back to headquarters. I'm sure Une will give him the rest of the afternoon off. Wow! I'm such a genius I can't even believe it."

Trowa looked down to arrange his shirt before facing up to talk.

"I think it was a good idea," he said. "I need to get some new furniture for myself as well."

"Have you been sleeping on the floor?"

"Practically," Trowa answered.

"You got rid of all the old furniture, huh?"

Trowa nodded. After he moved out of his impossibly large house, he chose to get rid of everything save for a few mementos, a few pictures, and a few necessities. After all, everything in that house was something jointly shared, something that wouldn't feel right without the presence of the other half. Trowa knew that part of his life was already over.

"I have to hang up," Trowa said when he felt a bit of a shake. "The interference is strong around this area. Did you give Duo the address?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'll be there in an hour."

True to his word Trowa was there with time to spare. The apartment complex was not big but very clean with each unit looking almost exactly alike from the outside. It was plain but it looked hospitable. Trowa thought about moving out of his place and living there instead. It was tempting but he thought better of it.

He walked up the stairway to the third floor and looked up the unit number before standing in front of his intended destination. Making sure that he was at the right location, he knocked twice and then waited.

"So, what do you think?" Quatre asked as he opened the door to his newest apartment.

"Empty," was all Trowa said. 

Quatre chuckled.

"You know," he said. "For some reason, I knew that was the only thing you'd say. So, do you know any good furniture stores?"

"Around here... no."

"Good, because I know one close by and I'm sure they could deliver to your area too."

Quatre picked up his jacket and together, they went down the steps and into the street. The walk was a little quiet but not at all awkward as it had been a few times before. There was no wondering, no apprehension, just companionable ease. Trowa looked at Quatre closely and wondered what he was supposed to do now. Life as usual? But it was a strange way to continue considering the circumstances. It may have been acceptable but it was still a little strange.

After the Une's revelation, their commander thought it best to leave the investigation to a different group of experts. What was surprising was that none of them had objected to her decision. There was a time when they acted solely on impulse, immediately rejecting whatever orders came through. After all, they were once the best, unparalleled in skill and experience.

Trowa smiled. As they'd gotten older, they'd become less impulsive and more contemplative. Even Duo's once fondness for momentary exhilaration was diminished, only to be replaced with the wisdom of someone who knew better. He couldn't forget the number of times he'd almost had Duo locked up for including Quatre in his escapades. Of course, he'd never tell Duo that he was now a wiser, older man lest he find his friend trying something rash in an act of defiance.

"What's wrong?" Quatre suddenly asked. "Is there something funny you were thinking about?"

Trowa shook his head and then looked down at his shoes.

"I just remembered something," he said. "I don't want to bring it up since I'm sure it would be rude and a bit insensitive. I don't want you punching me again."

"Let me guess," Quatre said. "It involves a certain someone with the same name."

"Yeah."

"I don't have a problem with it," Quatre said. "Talk away," he urged.

"Alright." Trowa stuffed his hands inside his pant pockets. "It involves Duo a bit too. Tell me first how you would describe Duo in one word?"

"Loud."

Trowa stared ahead.

"I was thinking of a different word but that sounds about right," he said. "Quatre once jumped off a bridge next to Duo."

"Now that's just crazy," Quatre said, not looking bothered by the fact that it sounded like they were talking about himself.

"Crazy is exactly the word. They said they had a crazy feeling for going bungee jumping that day."

"So what did you do?"

"I wanted to slap Duo a couple of times but then Wufei had to remind me that I wasn't going to do it because I trusted him with the welfare and safety of my husband."

"What did you end up doing then?"

"I watched Wufei slap him a couple of times instead."

Quatre chuckled and then pointed his finger in the direction of their next turn. The streets were quiet and they ended up passing by several smaller stores but neither of them noticed anything.

"Did they ever do it again?" Quatre asked.

"Of course," Trowa answered. "They convinced Heero to jump off a cliff with them the next day."

"What?" Quatre gawked, questioning him further. Some things were just too inconceivable to imagine.

"They went hang gliding," Trowa said.

"It sounds like you guys were really close, close enough to expect to keep each other in one piece," Quatre said, glancing at Trowa every once in a while.

"We were," Trowa said. He continued to look forward, not once looking toward his companion's direction. "...just like the way we are with you. It's a bit different but essentially the same."

With their destination coming into view, Trowa shook Quatre's shoulder, just in case he didn't notice they were close. Quatre remained silent; seeming to digest what was just revealed to him. It meant a lot but it was difficult to give any sort of reaction.

"You asked Duo," Trowa started again. "You asked him why we refused to take part in the investigation."

Quatre nodded and seemed mute more than anything but if there was anything wrong with his expression, Trowa did not notice. After all, he'd been avoiding any glances toward his direction.

"Under different circumstances we would have taken it, by force even. You complicate things."

Trowa kicked a couple of pebbles along his path and waited for Quatre's response. The statement was never meant to attack him and he hoped it wasn't taken as such. It took a while before Quatre said anything.

"Is it more comforting to have me around then?" he finally asked.

"Yeah," Trowa answered. There was really no room for covering up the truth. Quatre's presence was indeed comforting, not only for him but for the others as well. It didn't seem fair to all parties involved but that was just the way it ended up.

By that time, they had already reached the entrance of the store. As soon as they stepped foot, they were approached by a hoard of salesmen eager to make a commission. Their moment of contemplative silence was replaced with that of loud sales pitches. Quatre, helpless in the situation, allowed himself to be lead toward the sea of sofas. Trowa simply followed him, keeping an eye on any suspicious figures. It had become a habit hard to get rid of.

Two hours later, Quatre had picked his newest couch and desk while Trowa was already in the process of picking his mattress. Lying down, he tested how firm the cushion felt on his back but ended up staring at the ceiling above him instead.

"Is this the one?" Quatre asked all of a sudden. Trowa nodded in response and felt another weight join him. 

They were finally left to their own devices for the first time since they entered the store. Trowa concluded that the salesmen were busy attending to other customers.

"What were the results?" Quatre asked, choosing that moment to confront him.

Trowa hesitated for a moment before answering.

"You have normal levels of blood sugar, your cholesterol levels are pretty normal, you're 4.5 pounds underweight, and you're somebody else," Trowa said.

If Quatre didn't pay close enough attention, he wouldn't have been able to catch the last statement.

"Then why?" Quatre asked in a voice so quiet it was almost lost in the sounds of enthusiastic salesmen. 

Trowa found that the question was easy enough to understand but it required a great deal of willpower to answer.

"I would have told you if I knew why." 

Trowa expected another round of silence but was surprised when he was faced with the opposite. Quatre turned to his side and shook Trowa's shoulder to get his attention.

"Hmm?" he asked as he turned his head toward him.

Quatre looked a bit pale.

"We have to go. I think I feel another stomachache coming on."

Trowa smiled and stood up, reaching his hand out to pull Quatre up. The only problem was that Quatre was already curled on his side, the picture of ill health he'd always been.

"I guess this means we need a ride back," Trowa said.

Quatre nodded and then buried his head in the mattress while clutching his stomach.

Half an hour later, Heero showed up at the store, immediately zeroing in on their location. By that time, Quatre had fallen asleep, much to Trowa's relief. Sometimes Quatre was better unconscious. He was thankful that the salesmen were too busy to notice them. Otherwise, they would have been driven out of the store and back to their homes earlier than he wanted.

Heero approached them and since he didn't look like he wanted to stay there any longer, he gave Trowa two choices.

"It's either I carry him out of here in which case we end up embarrassing him or you wake him up and get him to walk far enough into the car," he said.

Trowa didn't answer and instead sent him a reprimanding stare.

"You obviously don't approve either way. What do you suggest?"

Trowa shrugged.

Another half an hour later, Duo and Wufei came into the store. Trowa was just about ready to tell Heero that he might as well carry Quatre to the car and deal with the consequences later. But before he could even open his mouth, Duo was right next to them. He rubbed his hands together. Trowa noticed him retrieve a bottle from inside his coat pocket and then approached the sleeping figure.

"Don't tell me you're drugging him," Trowa said almost immediately.

"Relax, buddy," Duo said. "I know exactly what I'm doing."

Duo splashed a bit of the liquid on Quatre's shirt, dabbed a bit on his lips and then gave Wufei thumbs up. Together, they hauled Quatre up, placing each of his arms over their shoulders. Trowa covered his face in embarrassment.

"Is that alcohol?" Heero asked. "Don't tell me you're turning him into a fake drunk."

"Loosen up Heero," Duo answered, grinning. "A drunken Quatre is much better than an incompetent one. Besides, I don't think we want to risk waking him up. Remember, a sick, conscious Quatre is equivalent to a Quatre in pain. Hey, and Wufei said he'd back me up on this one."

"I'm afraid that I have to agree with him," Wufei said, adjusting Quatre's arm on his shoulder. "You carry him out here like a child and he'll never forget about it. I'm sorry it's come to this but I must say that Duo has come up with a brilliant plan."

"Told you," Duo said with a smug look. "Wu and I brought a truck so you two muscled men might as well get at least the mattress in there so he'll have a bed to sleep in tonight. I've already got the sheets covered so it'll be a cinch setting things up before putting sleeping beauty over here to bed."

No other objections were heard.

It took them approximately five hours to get Quatre back home, unload the things he left at Heero's place, set-up his sleeping area, and put him in his pajamas. All the while, he was fast asleep, not even noticing the ruckus they were making while setting up the room. It wasn't perfect but it was enough to keep him rested for the night. Making sure that everything was set and in order, they made one final stop to check if they placed Quatre where they originally intended to and then left his apartment, tiptoeing out the door.

"Shouldn't we lock the door," Wufei said before they made it all the way to the stairway.

"I think it has one of those automatic locks," Heero answered.

"What if it doesn't?" Trowa asked.

"For the love of god," Duo said. "Why don't we just grab his keys, lock his door and drop by tomorrow morning. You people sound worse than Hilde."

"You should talk," Wufei muttered.

Another quick stop and they were finally at the parking lot, checking to see what they should do next. Since it was already dark out and they'd yet to eat dinner, Trowa offered to treat them out. It was his turn to cook after all and he was too tired to even try doing so.

"What did he say?"

Trowa paused in his position halfway into the car. He knew that they wanted to know and that Duo was the one who'd bring it up. Trowa found that he'd already had enough awkward pauses that day. There was no need to delay anything.

"He didn't say anything," he said. "We like it the way it is and he doesn't mind the way it is so I'd rather not decide on anything right now."

"Enjoy the moment," Duo interrupted. "That's all we could really do right now - enjoy the moment." 


	12. Part Twelve

**Memento [Part Twelve]**

Watching the clock tick wasn't one of Trowa's favorite activities but it was starting to become entertaining as the days passed by. In fact, the consistent sound of the tick-tock as the seconds went by was very soothing. Never mind the fact that the clock was a plain, steel piece that did absolutely nothing for his weary imagination. It was almost like a mantra, except that this one wasn't voiced out.

"I'm going to lose my mind."

That, however, was Duo's alternative. It was fine except that his voiced mantra was said out loud that it was getting on Wufei's nerves. Trowa glanced at the two in the far corner of the room. Duo had his eyes closed and was leaning back on a chair, repeating the same line over and over again. Wufei was looming dangerously over him and Trowa could almost swear he could see the man's nostrils flair.

"Relax, Wu," Duo said without opening his eyes. The seething presence over him was obvious enough. "Why don't you get yourself a line to chant? It really helps pass the time plus it'll get that high blood pressure of yours down."

"How about 'I'm going to kill you'?" Wufei answered.

"Heh, whatever suits you buddy. If Trowa's going to stare at that clock for the next few hours then you at least have the right to do whatever weird thing you want."

"Fine, I'm going to kill you."

"That's it baby; say it again."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Right, now I'm going to say my line and you say yours, agree?"

Wufei calmed down a bit and stared at Duo. He seemed to debate the issue in his head but after a few seconds, shrugged. Perhaps Duo's idea wasn't too bad after all. Wufei sat himself down on a nearby chair, leaned back and then closed his eyes as well. When he was cozy, he began chanting his line in deep concentration.

"I'm going to kill you."

"I'm going to lose my mind."

"I'm going to kill you."

"I'm going to lose my mind."

Trowa groaned. Oh sure, it did look amusing when they were talking about it but now that they were actually doing it, it was getting very annoying. They even had a rhythm going. He was surprised Wufei didn't just have Duo shut up. Trowa put his hand on his head. It was going to be a long, long day. He couldn't even hear the tick of the clock anymore.

"I'm going to kill you." 

"I'm going to lose my mind."

Tick

Trowa blinked and then took his hand out of his head. Maybe it did work. Their chants were in synchrony with the clock. 

"I'm going to kill you."

"I'm going to lose my mind."

Tock

Trowa smiled and then crossed his arms. It was soothing in a very, very weird way but whatever worked was fine with him. The next hour passed by the same way and Trowa didn't even notice when Heero arrived. The three of them were so engrossed in their relaxation techniques that they didn't even see the look on his face when he came in. 

Trowa did jump when he heard the loud banging of metal on metal, effectively ruining their rhythm. He opened his eyes and looked back to find Heero with a steel pipe in hand and a large dent on their aircraft.

"Aww, Heero, you just messed up the really good thing we had going on."

Heero's eye twitched.

"I was trying to call on you imbeciles for the past half hour and here I find you doing whatever the hell it is you're doing," Heero answered, fighting to stay calm.

Trowa chose to remain silent and so did Wufei. Heero was terrifying and not to mention 5 times stronger when he was angry. Duo, however, was a different story.

"Hey, you left us here all day with nothing to do," he whined. "What were we supposed to do?"

"For one thing, you should have been waiting for my signal. We're going to have to do this over because our likely target has left the area. We have to wait until he shows up again. Oh, and have I mentioned that it's going to take us another week to do this?"

They groaned all at the same time. There was nothing like surveillance jobs that got them testy. 

"I want to go home."

Trowa looked up to find all three of them looking at him strangely. So, he said what was on his mind. It wasn't like he didn't have the right to complain at least some of the time. They'd been in the deserted, depraved area for almost four weeks and it was driving him crazy, enough to find pleasure in watching the hand of the clock move.

"Uh, I think Tro needs a break. What do you say Heero, could we possibly leave and then come back next week?"

There was a period of momentary silence, which signaled the possibility of an agreement on Heero's part. Trowa didn't care much for the answer although he was hoping he'd agree. They hadn't been in contact with the outside world for so long it was draining him. He did want to see how Quatre was doing. The last time he saw the man, he was becoming more disoriented and confused than usual.

"You know we can't do that," Heero said and although his answer was supposed to be directed to Duo, he was facing Trowa instead.

Trowa nodded. They had a job to do.

"Now that the drama's over, I want all of you to come here and check this," Wufei interrupted. 

That seemed to anger Heero a bit more. After all, why hadn't Wufei been paying attention to the communicator when he was gone? What was so important now that wasn't as important then?

"It's not coming from this colony," he added.

All their ears picked up the exciting news. Finally, they were going to get a message from the outside world. 

"I'm not sure of its location but it's not from here. It's unclear so it should be coming from somewhere else."

"Put the speakers on," Trowa said.

"It's on."

They waited a few seconds, listening to all the static coming in. It was too much that the transmission was barely going through. When the voice did come through, it sounded more like a machine than a human. Whoever was on the other line was using a voice scrambler.

"... not going to last ...uch longer," it started. It was hard to understand but at least it was coming through. "...doll ...will forget ...new chara ...ter"

They had to concentrate and keep silent since the message was barely audible.

"...deteriorating slowly ...is progressing ...cell atrophy ...haven't figured it ou ...ight be too la..."

There was a final, raucous tone before the transmission was cut off. It left them to wonder whether it was a distress signal or something else. Duo scratched his chin.

"So we're supposed to figure out something from that messed-up piece of information," Duo started. "Great, whoever was calling would be toast before we even get there."

"I don't think it's a distress signal," Heero interrupted.

Trowa nodded at the statement. They had come up with the same idea. There was just something wrong about the message. Some parts made sense but other parts just didn't fit in.

"I guess so. That cell comment made no sense at all," Duo agreed. 

Heero grabbed a chair and flipped it the other way before sitting down to join them. He didn't even notice that they were unconsciously drawing themselves into a circle.

"Atrophy means something close to death, something like wasting away," Wufei said, turning his seat so he was facing them as well. "Not just any kind of wasting away," he continued. "It has got more to do with pathology, some kind of wasting away of organs or tissues or in this case, cells."

"You think they're infected with something so they're asking for help?"

Duo seemed eager and was coming up with all the questions. Then again, this was the first new issue they'd been able to talk about ever since they left for the mission. All the other topics they previously discussed had been exhausted and were now long forgotten.

"Like I said," Heero voiced out, looking down on the floor. "It's not help they're after. Otherwise, whoever sent it wouldn't have used a voice scrambler. It's a warning and I don't like it."

Trowa nodded. There was something suspicious about the message and the fact that it involved secrecy wasn't good either. They were going to have to check on it soon.

"What should we do?" Trowa asked.

"We're leaving this place - now," Heero answered and didn't waste any time. He stood up to get ready.

"I love you!" Duo exclaimed and then ran to tackle him and smother him with kisses. "I didn't know all it took were freaky voices to convince you to let us go home. I should've done this earlier if I only knew."

Wufei and Trowa chose to show their approval in a different way. They simply left him alone and got ready as well. If Heero decided to abort a mission for an indiscernible transmission then something was going on. They were going to have to check with headquarters and make sure there wasn't anything dangerous about it.

===

"I'm telling you, I can't do it that fast."

Wufei was pacing around the room while the rest of them sat down to listen while Sally gave her excuse. 

"Even then, I can't assure you that I could trace it down. Why are you all here anyway? Did you finish the job Une sent you to do?"

They all looked at Heero. He was the one who decided that they leave after all.

"I prioritize what's important," Heero answered for them. "And I know this is more important than following a fat man with toys for weapons."

"Fine," Sally said and then sighed. There was no arguing with any of them. She always lost the argument, except for Wufei that is. He was the easiest.

"So Wufei," she started. "Miss me?"

He huffed indignantly.

"In your dreams."

Trowa decided that he wasn't going to stay for the entertainment. He had something else he needed to do. Signaling to Duo and Heero that he was leaving, he opened the door and left the arguing pair. He knew Sally was going to win this one. It was just a matter of time.

===

"What do you mean he isn't here?" Trowa asked, surprised that Quatre didn't answer the door. 

"Whoever this Quatre is doesn't live here. You might want to check elsewhere. I just moved in two weeks ago so the person you're looking for might have moved."

Trowa hesitated before muttering a 'thank you'. He was doubtful that Quatre moved. After all, he'd just moved in recently and was thrilled at the prospect of having his own apartment again. There were very little possibilities of where he could have gone, considering that he didn't seem to know very many people aside from health professionals, that is. Perhaps his doctor knew where he was. 

"What was his name?" Trowa thought aloud. There were so many things to keep a track of in his job that he chose to forget the names of certain people who seemed irrelevant. This, however, was anything but irrelevant considering his circumstance.

He tried to remember the name and it was almost at the tip of his tongue when he noticed a middle-aged man stop and look at him strangely.

"Are you looking for someone?" the stranger asked while putting his key into the slot. 

"Uh, I'm looking for someone who used to live here," Trowa answered, hoping that the man would be able to give him more useful information.

"Oh, that young man," the man answered. "The manager did mention that he'd lost his job earlier and decided to move in with a friend. I saw him when I was starting to move in, even helped him lift up those boxes. He was polite and he looked a little too sick to be carrying around all those heavy boxes."

Trowa's ears picked up on the description. The man had just described Quatre. Now, if he could only question further, he'd find him before nightfall.

"If you really need to find him," the man said, probably noticing Trowa's look of determination. "Try asking the manager. I'm not sure if she keeps track of these things but she's nice. Maybe she'll help you out."

"Thanks," Trowa said and then hurried down the steps. He remembered that the manager's office was close to the entrance. He was breathless when he reached the office but made it just in time before the manager had left. She was in the process of locking up the door.

"Wait," Trowa said, breathing heavily. "I'm looking for someone."

The startled woman faced him, first with a frightened look and then with one of relief.

"You must be looking for Mr. Winner," she said.

"Huh?"

The woman opened up her bag and retrieved a notepad. When she landed on a specific page, she tore it off.

"He moved here," she said and then handed it to him.

Trowa didn't know how she could almost read his mind and it was evident in the expression on his face.

"Oh, how silly of me," the manager said. "Mr. Winner did mention that someone this tall, brown hair, green eyes might come looking for him. So, he left me that address and told me to give it to him. Your name is Trowa, am I right?"

Trowa nodded.

"Then good, that address belongs to you."

"Uh, thank you."

Trowa watched as the woman left the building and crossed the street. He had to leave as well. It had been forever since he'd seen Quatre and there were some new turn of events that needed some sort of explanation.

===

"Lara?" Trowa asked, unsure if he'd made it to the right address.

"Oh, hi Trowa," she said. "Come in. You might be able to talk some sense into Quatre."

Trowa did step in but felt strange. The new tenant mentioned that Quatre had moved in with a friend so she was the most obvious alternative. However, it didn't mean that she was the first person that came to mind.

"Go straight and turn left. His room is on the far corner."

Trowa nodded. Whatever he thought would have to wait until later. He needed to know what was going on first. Things were happening so fast it was as if he wasn't in contact with the world for so long. Then again, he had been on the last mission long enough. 

When Trowa reached his intended destination, he knocked twice on the door.

"Go 'way," he heard Quatre say.

Trowa chose to ignore the irate reaction and instead turned the doorknob to check if it was open. 

"I'm coming in," he warned and turned the knob all the way to find that the door wasn't locked. 

"Wha..." he said, bewildered and disturbed when he stepped into Quatre's room. It looked like he'd stepped into a twilight zone. He noticed the various sticky notes in green, yellow and pink stuck to the pieces of furniture. 

He glanced at the drawers and decided to read some of the notes. 

"This is where you keep your socks," was stuck on the top drawer. "Underwear in here!" was written on the next.

Trowa walked cautiously toward the lump on the bed which could only have been one person.

"Quatre?" he asked, placing his hand on top of the warm lump.

"Uh huh?" was the muffled answer he got.

When he didn't sense any resistance on Quatre's part, he slowly sat next to him and then lifted the blanket to check him. The first thing he saw as he pulled down the blanket was the back of Quatre's head. He had his face buried in the pillow. The next thing he noticed wasn't something he noticed before despite previous inspections. There was a barely discernible scar hidden behind layers of hair.

"Quatre?" he decided to ask. "When did you get hit on your head?"

Quatre didn't answer and he was left to wonder. All he could do was put his hand on the head and weave his fingers through the thin strands of hair. He'd missed doing that during the long days he couldn't spend with Quatre.


	13. Part Thirteen

**Memento [Part Thirteen]**

The room was warm, which was partly good for him but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't lift his head up from the table. It had been hiding on top of his folded arms ever since he positioned himself in the snack room's table. It was soothing in some way but it meant that he was not doing his job. He had to wonder if he were to be fired if they found him loafing on the job. Break time was over more than a few hours ago and yet, he felt more comfortable there than anywhere else.

"You've been here all afternoon."

Trowa did not move to indicate that he heard the statement and did not even look up to acknowledge his newest companion. All he noticed was the omnipresent squeak as the door swung open and the soft tap of boots reverberating on the linoleum floor. Perhaps somebody had been sent to find him. He did need to get back to work but the way his head was nestled in his arms was much too tempting, much more pleasant than doing anything else.

"You never told us what happened."

It was more a demand than a simple statement. Trowa knew he didn't keep very many things from his comrades although this matter didn't have much to do with secrecy. It was a matter of sanity. Since the day he witnessed Quatre's sudden transformation, he had yet to figure out the nuts and bolts. Nothing made very much sense.

"If it would make you stop brooding, you should skip work and go visit him."

Ah, it was Heero alright. He was concerned without being too obvious. It would have sounded insensitive coming from someone else.

"I can't."

"And why not?"

Trowa had to remind himself of the reason.

"He's avoiding me," he answered, the sound of his muffled voice seeming to him like he'd just regressed to childhood. "...quite literally too."

Trowa heard the sound of the chair scratch against the floor. It appeared he wasn't going to be left alone.

"What happened?"

They were demands rather than words of sympathy. Trowa supposed he sounded just like Heero at times but it was unnerving when it wasn't coming from him.

"He brought me up with him on the roof."

"...and pushed you off the ledge," Heero continued for him.

Trowa raised his head in annoyance and looked at Heero with a bit of anger. He wanted to be taken seriously and for some reason, Heero decided to sound more like an unwanted antagonist than a helping ear.

"Don't look at me like that," Heero said in response to his display. "It was the only way to get your head off the table. Now talk to me properly. Just because Quatre has taken to writing himself notes, does not mean that you should start acting like a child."

Trowa leaned on his chair and then crossed his arms, the once annoyed look replaced with mild disinterest. Sometimes Heero was a little too harsh.

"Like I said earlier, he brought me up with him on the roof. We were having a pleasant conversation when all of a sudden, he suggested that I stop visiting him," Trowa said, relaying his story in two sentences.

"Am I supposed to fill in the gaps? Trowa, I'm concerned as much as you are and if you don't be more specific, this information would be useless for me."

Useless for Heero? It was already useless for him. He doubted that anyone could even make use of it. Trowa stood up for the first time in two hours and refilled his cup with hot tea. He really didn't want to relay it verbally, just replay the scenario in his head.

"He was showing me the maps he made to find his way around," Trowa started, taking a seat and relaying to Heero the incident that had him confused. "The old folks taught him how to make them. Apparently, they get lost a lot too."

"Old folks?" Heero inquired.

"I guess I haven't told you," Trowa answered. "He got fired from his job a few weeks ago since he'd become absent-minded. For some reason, his performance was deteriorating. He said he started forgetting things, so much that he couldn't really work anymore."

"So how did he end up with the old folks?" 

"Lara brings him with her when she works. She didn't want him to hide himself home all day. I think it was a good idea. He does look better now than when he refused to leave his room. At least her patients in the nursing home teach him a few tricks to help him get by."

"Get by," Heero voiced out. "You make it sound like he's incapacitated."

"He practically is," Trowa answered and then sipped his tea. "He does get sick still but now he gets too confused to do anything simple. I was told that he even gets irritable at times."

"Irritable enough to tell you he doesn't want to see you anymore?" Heero asked.

"No. He wasn't angry when he said it. He looked more regretful. He was telling me to leave him alone but it looked like he didn't mean it. I can't consolidate what he was really trying to say. It sounded like two different messages in one - leave me but stay."

Trowa had to pause. He couldn't tell what was going on with Quatre or with him for that matter. Did he simply refuse to understand just because he didn't want to stop seeing him? It was difficult from him because he truly didn't want to leave him alone. Quatre had become his obsession. It was hard to let go.

"He called this morning," Heero interrupted. That got Trowa's attention.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he responded automatically.

"He wasn't looking for you," Heero answered. "He didn't even say anything except that he was sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

Before Heero could answer, their conversation was interrupted by two voices coming toward the room. It wasn't that they were particularly loud. Their topic of interest was just too relevant not to notice.

"I know, but there were no organs. It was empty without being cut open. There must haven been something used to empty the body without doing damage to its outer shell."

"But it's too difficult to do. Why would they even bother?"

Trowa watched as the door opened, his eyes focused on the newcomers who obviously had no idea that they were in there. Trowa flicked a stray hair off his eye and looked intently at them.

"Oh, I... we were just..." was the reaction.

Seeing their surprise and apologetic looks, Trowa dismissed them and stirred his tea instead.

"Noin, Sally," Heero greeted.

"I'm sorry. We thought you would have been off your break by now."

"We're supposed to be," Heero answered for them. "He's not fragile. You might as well tell him what you found. He has a responsibility to know about it anyway."

Trowa didn't see it but he sensed that Noin and Sally were looking at him, asking for an unvoiced permission. It was rather rude that they were talking about his deceased husband as if he were nothing but a lifeless specimen. But then, he didn't mind, not really and that alone bothered him more than he wanted. Had he become so detached from the memories of his once life-partner that he would dismiss concerns for him and think instead of the living duplicate? Perhaps that was the case. He couldn't unite the two opposing forces without feeling guilty for one and unsympathetic for the other.

"I have to go."

It was the coward's way out. He left without asking questions, dismissing whatever relevant facts were there about his once Quatre. It was too disturbing. Besides, he was gone now and only the living replacement remained. He thought it best to do things one by one and right now, he had to stick with what was there. It was too difficult and too painful to piece together the shattered remnants of what was no longer present. At least he could maybe be absolved of his past transgressions if he saved this new entity.

"Oh, and don't forget to tell Trowa his boots are untied. He might trip over it later."

Trowa turned around faster than his balance could manage and held on firmly to a chair so as not to fall over. The sound, it was familiar although faint in his memories. He wondered what was going on. It was such an offensive way of relaying a joke.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Trowa asked, stressing the words one at a time. He couldn't take his eyes away from the little voice recorder that Heero held in his hand.

"Which one is it, Trowa?" Heero asked, ignoring Trowa's question and holding out the device in full view.

"What do you mean which one?" Trowa had to clarify although he was already outraged.

"Which Quatre?"

Of course he knew which one it was. It was the same voice that whispered to him sweet nothings every night. The same voice he'd never forget. 

"I know which one it is Heero so you better tell me right now why you have it and where you got it."

"Not yet," Heero answered. He was obviously testing his patience. Even Sally and Noin had taken to staying quiet so as not to anger him further.

"Listen again," Heero said before pushing the play button.

"Geez Quat," a second voice said from the voice recorder. "Trowa's a big boy. You should be looking out for yourself. I hear that Walta guy's sitting next to you during the conference. The man's a giant. He'll crush you if he falls over. Besides, I'm sure Tro's going to want your cute little tush in one piece at the end of the day."

The voice was all Duo and yet it carried the essence of Quatre. 

"And which asshole had dared record that?" Trowa asked calmly, taking a seat and looking at everyone present.

"The same one that left it with the body," Heero answered just as calmly.

"He was being watched," Trowa concluded, his mind coming up with unheard of punishments for the people responsible for it.

"No."

He diverted his attention away from Heero and looked at Noin. She always knew more than any of them. She was the head of the investigation after all.

"No?" Trowa asked, impatiently waiting for the answer.

"He wasn't the one being watched. From what I've gathered, it appears that it was you they were after."

Trowa stood up and rubbed his forehead. He was confused. Why didn't they take him instead? He couldn't even, in his worst nightmares imagine what it was like for Quatre.

"Where's Wufei and Duo?" he decided to ask. It was not acceptable that the other two were missing. They had the right to know the details after all.

"Wufei had to bring Duo home. He couldn't handle it."

"Handle what?" Trowa asked.

"You better sit down."

"Do you want to hear it?" Sally asked with caution evident in her voice. Of course, the answer was going to be a yes but she didn't look like she wanted to tell him. But still, he had to hear it. He'd been avoiding the matter long enough. 

"Tell me but hold the details."

It was clear enough which details he wanted out. Noin nodded before offering him the seat next to Heero and Sally. She opened up one of the folders she had in hand. From the look on her face, it was evident that she had already done the drill and had probably relayed the information while he was gone. 

"There were a few of those tapes," Noin started. "The tape Heero just played was one of the many we found. All of them are labeled by time, day, year and event. Here are some of those titles."

Trowa took the paper and looked at the long list, his stomach turning as he read some of them. It ranged from everything such as 'Trowa brushing his teeth - 10pm - November 3rd AC197' to 'Trowa making love to Quatre on yacht - 3am - December 29th AC198'. It wasn't just appalling; it was plain sick the way their privacy was invaded. Not just that, most of them were private moments, those that nobody had the right to invade.

"Those were the ones embedded in the stomach."

Trowa held up his hand. It was exactly the kind of information he didn't want to hear about. He already felt sick. Fortunately, Noin understood his request and stopped herself from saying anything more.

"These," Noin continued, holding out another list. "...were found elsewhere."

Trowa read the list again, fearing the worst. Unlike the first list, this one caused him to seethe in anger. It was so ruthless it broke his heart. 'Quatre crying for Trowa to come - 2pm - June 15th AC200'. His eyes unconsciously started blurring the words as if they didn't exist. It may have been tears but he wasn't sure. The list constituted the events that took place after Quatre had disappeared. Trowa checked the last entry on the list. It was AC202, the same year Quatre's status had been changed from missing to deceased.

Trowa dropped his head again on his folded arms. This time Heero was more sympathetic and had taken to keeping silent. He wasn't crying although he guessed it would have been appropriate. He should have been angry, outraged, and out of control but that wasn't him. Instead he felt tired; tired because he knew it wasn't over yet. There were still so many things to figure out, one of which was the identity of the bastard who had done it. He wondered if he was going to be able to sleep that night.

===

"And she said it still didn't make much sense to her and I told her that I wanted to leave it alone for now but no, she insisted that it was necessary. You should know how she is, Tro. She didn't want to leave me alone. She even pulled me off the bed and kicked me out of the house. It was a good thing too or else I would've been in a bad mood for the rest of the day. So, how are you holding up?"

It was 3am and the only thing keeping him occupied was Duo's vibrant attitude coming in through the vid-phone. His voice was the best indication that he wasn't going to be left alone. It was good. He liked it when Duo kept him company during the ungodly hours of the morning.

"Obviously not too well," someone else answered for him. 

It was unusual but Wufei was in on the conversation as well. The screen was divided up into three equal parts so that Duo, Wufei and Heero's sleepy but anxious faces were displayed before him. None of them could sleep and it was acceptable considering their case. Duo had called him up at midnight, inquiring about his well-being when he admitted quite despondently that he had trouble going to sleep. Not long after, he found himself discussing anything and everything with the three other people on the other end of the line.

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Trowa," Duo said, making sure to point it out to Wufei. "So, Trowa, what's the answer?"

"I think I'll be fine," Trowa answered truthfully. The prognosis wasn't good before he went to bed but now that he had the chance to talk about it, things were a lot better.

"Good. Then Hilde will be glad to hear about it."

Trowa noticed Duo's voice disappear from the screen and then heard his loud yell of 'Hilde, Trowa said he'll be fine.' It was responded to by a 'Tell me about it tomorrow, Duo. I was finally falling asleep and tell Trowa I'll come by tomorrow and bring him anything he wants."

Not long after, Duo's face came back into view.

"Hilde said..." he started but was then interrupted by Wufei.

"We know!" he exclaimed. "How could you two be so loud and perky before the sun has risen?"

"We're lively people," Duo answered enthusiastically. "Say, Heero, are you falling asleep or what?"

Trowa looked at Heero's face on the screen. Only, it wasn't there. It was facing away from them as if he were busy doing something.

"He must have dazed off although I don't know how with your loud yammering," Wufei suggested but Trowa chose to ask Heero directly.

"Heero, what are you doing?" he asked. Whatever it was he was doing looked important if he wasn't taking part in the conversation. Even Trowa was forced to rattle on about useless things only to keep the conversation going.

"I almost got it," Heero answered, confirming that he wasn't asleep.

"Got what?" Duo asked, his face looking as if he were scrutinizing what Heero was doing over his shoulder.

"If you all keep it down for two seconds, I just might get it."

They complied. Trowa had to wonder what was going on. He couldn't imagine how Heero could stay focused on doing something when it was obviously time for bed. He even couldn't keep his head straight.

"Got it," Heero said after a while, raising his head so that they could see him clearly from the screen. He looked intense but it was a little hard to take him seriously when he was obviously in the nude. They still couldn't get used to the fact that he slept in nothing at all. 

"I figured out who sent the scrambled message," Heero announced.

"Was it the warning from the abandoned colony?" Wufei asked.

"Exactly."

Trowa looked at the screen with interest. At last, it was a topic about something completely different. Perhaps it was Heero's way of diverting his attention from the subject matter they would rather not have brooded about.

"So who sent it?"

"Someone not stationed far away from here. He did a sloppy job of covering himself. The message came from a clinic, from the private line of a Dr. Marion..."

Trowa blinked. Where did he hear that name before?


	14. Part Fourteen

**Memento [Part Fourteen]**

Trowa opened the filing cabinets methodically, making sure to check each file at a time. It was possible that there were a number of files that were not placed into the computer's database and instead were left within the antiquated drawers. It was always safer to check twice. So far, he hadn't come across any relevant information even if he was nice enough not to make a mess. His comrades, however, had taken to sorting through the files like wild animals. He began to wonder what exactly they were looking for. The first commanding words of Heero as they came into the room were 'find it'. Now, if only Heero defined what 'it' was, it could have been easier. 

"What were we looking for again?" Duo asked halfway through his ransacking the drawers of a mahogany desk.

"Relevant information," Wufei answered.

"Relevant as in...?"

Wufei stopped for a moment to think before resuming to dig his hands into some unknown stack of papers.

"You don't know what we're supposed to be looking for, do you?" Duo asked derisively.

Trowa heard a sound of disapproval from Wufei and then heard a grunt coming from Heero's direction. He looked to his side to find Heero trying to lift a file cabinet off the ground. It probably weighed a ton. Did he even know what he was looking for?

"Is it necessary that we destroy the place in the process?" Trowa asked, embarrassed about their rude behavior. It wasn't their office after all.

The other three stopped whatever it was they were doing and then looked at him in disbelief.

"This guy isn't so bad," Trowa said, answering their unvoiced question. "I just think it isn't right to cause this much damage when we don't even know what we're looking for."

Still, they didn't understand his point.

"This is supposed to be a clinic and we waited less than three minutes to be lead in here. Don't you think we could at least respect this doctor's space?"

"Point taken," Duo answered. "I was expecting a three hour wait at the least. Maybe we could cut the guy some slack."

Trowa sighed in relief. Why he was trying to protect the doctor, he didn't exactly understand.

"After all," Duo added. "Trowa should know him well enough to judge if he's an honest and respectable guy."

"How would he know that?" Heero asked almost immediately, raising his brow and at the same time giving him a look.

"I met him before," Trowa answered before resuming his earlier task if only to avoid Heero's scrutiny.

"Why wasn't I told?" Heero demanded rather insistently.

"Sheesh," Duo interrupted. "Don't you remember who this guy is? Dr. Marion... Quatre's doctor... ring a bell?"

"Of course not. This is all new information for us," Wufei answered.

Before they could continue further, the door of the office opened to reveal the appalled expression on the doctor's face. Anyone else would have been just as surprised as he was. The office, which was pristine clean when he left now looked like a hurricane had gone through it. Papers were all over the place, drawers were opened, and meticulously arranged folders were now in disarray. Trowa was surprised he didn't scream.

"Gentlemen," the doctor started instead. The anger on his face seemed to dissipate just as quickly as it appeared. Trowa took the chance to study him. If anything, all four of them were almost one hundred percent accurate when it came to reading faces. The man didn't look like he had anything to hide.

"How can I help you?" the doctor continued, choosing to look at Duo. Perhaps he looked the least threatening of all of them. "Are you acquaintances of Quatre perchance?"

Duo made a face, probably feeling awkward about the strange use of words. He scratched his head, looking a bit unsure of himself.

"Uh, how did you know?"

The man smiled at Duo and then began to explain. "One of the nurses recognized Trowa from his visit earlier. She mentioned that he brought a couple of friends over. I'm assuming you are those friends although I've yet to see Trowa."

Duo pointed to the doctor's left shoulder, the exact location were Trowa was. He was the only one out of sight.

"Ah, so you were here after all. How's the bodyguard business doing?"

Trowa would have answered but it all seemed irrelevant now. Quatre seemed to be separate from them, a fleeting job that was no longer necessary. They had long since agreed to give up their jobs as bodyguards. After all, they were orders from Une. She was always the supreme rule around headquarters.

"Fine," Trowa answered.

"Dr. Marion, is it?" Heero interrupted. Trowa studied his face. There was something bothering Heero and he could almost tell by the way his comrade moved in an uneasy gait. It wasn't just about the bad news that kept on coming. It was something more.

"Yes, and you are," the doctor answered, holding out his hand.

Heero chose not to take it and instead crossed his arms to signal that the interrogation was to begin immediately. The doctor didn't seem to mind the rude gesture and instead took a seat in the only usable chair to the far side of the room.

"You sent us a distress signal," Wufei started. "You could start by explaining what you meant."

"I assumed you would have figured it out by yourselves by now," the doctor answered. Oh, he was brave. Absolutely no one ever acted superior when Wufei was questioning them.

"I didn't ask you to assess our abilities or my intelligence for that matter," Wufei answered. "Now, I'm going to ask you straightforward questions and as an intelligent being, I expect you to respond with equally straightforward answers... understood?"

Trowa leaned against the wall. When it came to interrogation, Wufei was the man. He had the ability to make even the elderly scholars respect him despite being years younger than them. They were, without doubt, going to get the answers they needed. The doctor just needed a little nudge.

"Understood."

Trowa smirked. That was easy.

"Why did you send us a distress signal?" Wufei started again. "It was meant for us, wasn't it?"

"Yes, I did send it to you," the doctor answered, looking at each one of them. "I sent it because someone needed help soon."

"Is this someone you're referring to Quatre by any chance?" Wufei asked.

This time, Trowa had to hold his breath. The bad news about his late husband was enough of a burden already. Painful thoughts were constantly leaking into his conscious mind. To find out that there was something wrong with his newfound Quatre was not what he wanted. It was so much for him that it was almost unbelievable. It seemed that whatever superior being out there wanted to make him suffer. Someone out there enjoyed playing with him.

Trowa crossed his fingers behind his back. He hoped it was something else.

"Of course it's about Quatre," the doctor answered. Trowa's reaction was to close his eyes and bump the back of his head against the wall. That was it. He wasn't going to find peace of mind any time soon. He wanted to leave the room but he couldn't. He had a responsibility to stay.

"Quatre has been sick for quite some time now," the doctor started again. "I was hoping at least one of you would have noticed sooner. You might have already noticed the agnosia, his inability to recognize objects or faces. He might be distressed, confused, disoriented... in fact; his memory might be a little shaky."

Duo responded with a revealing 'oh, I get it' but Heero was a different story. Instead of staying quiet like the rest of them did, he punched a hole into the wall behind him and then straightened out his jacket. In his face was a look that halted anyone from commenting.

"Tell me why you didn't tell us sooner," Heero demanded as calmly as he could.

"Because it wasn't time," the doctor answered. 

"In other words, you were waiting for his brain to degenerate into minimal levels," Wufei stated with an outraged look on his face.

"Exactly."

That was about all Trowa could take. Without informing anyone that he was through, he left the room and leaned against the wall outside. Was the man just plain sick? What was going on? He knew for sure that he judged the man quite accurately the first time they met. He was clean then and strangely enough even now that he was admitting to a despicable misdeed. Was he just too calm, too good in hiding his intentions or was it the placid professionalism of a cold-blooded criminal?

"You sick bastard," he heard Duo say disbelievingly from inside the office. "I can't believe you could even say that with a straight face. What is wrong with you?"

"Don't judge me too quickly, young man. I'm just a puppet after all. I merely do as the strings pull."

Trowa took his fingers off from his aching head. All of a sudden, the headache was gone. How couldn't it have gone away so fast? He just happened to listen in on the craziest thing he'd ever heard. 

"A puppet?" Wufei continued questioning.

At about that time, Trowa had decided to go back in the room to witness Duo shaking his head in a corner. Every now and then he would hear Duo muttering something derogative about Pinocchio or some strange self-dialogue about high amounts of stress making people crazy.

"Yes. I am a marionette, a doll with strings. The name Dr. Marion... it's simply a mnemonic play of words."

"This distress signal, it's not an act of free will, is it?" Wufei asked, his face as straight as it was before the strange revelation.

"Of course not. Even that was planned."

"Who's pulling the strings?" Wufei continued, determined to get to the bottom of it.

"I'm afraid I don't know," the doctor answered. "You see, a puppet can't look up to who's controlling the strings until the master wills the head to raise upward. I simply cannot look up when the strings don't pull that way."

Wufei looked up to them and then grunted. 

"That's it for today," he declared. "He can tell us nothing more. I suggest we make better use of our time elsewhere. I've personally been sick of this game even before it started."

Trowa was the first one out, followed by his distraught friends. He didn't look back, just walked all the way to their vehicles while keeping his eyes on the ground. The doctor may have been enthusiastic about being controlled by strings but he was certainly not enjoying his predicament. He too had strings tied to each arm, both pulling just as hard on opposite directions. What was he to do, attempt to piece together the mystery of his unfortunate husband or attend to his seemingly well-replicated replacement?

"You should go see how Quatre is doing," Heero suggested. "We'll handle the reports. We should at least get some rest before we attempt to tackle this case. I'm sure none of you slept last night."

Duo and Wufei nodded their heads and bade their farewell for the time being. Trowa, on the other hand, remained standing in the same place, still looking at the ground.

"Are you going or not?" Heero asked him.

He shrugged. He wasn't really sure.

"Why don't you want to go to him?"

"He doesn't want me near him," Trowa answered simply and then started walking to his car.

"Did you just assume that?" Heero continued even if Trowa was walking away.

"No. He said it himself."

"He didn't say it. You wanted him to say it," Heero responded.

Trowa stopped and sighed. He was tired. "Are we going to go through this again Heero?" he asked, almost as if pleading with Heero to leave him alone.

"I don't know. It depends," was the answer. He could already see Heero's crossed arms as he said it.

"He's not mine, alright," Trowa said and then continued walking. He was surprised to hear nothing else. At that point, he no longer cared if Heero agreed with him or not. He just wanted to get some sleep.

===

"Yeah, I heard you. I'm coming. Just give me a sec."

Trowa shifted his feet while waiting at the front door of Lara's house. He didn't know what possessed him to come. Quatre had already told him that they were better off if they didn't see each other. He agreed to it verbally but never told him it was harder said than done. He had to wonder how Quatre would react if he saw him again.

"Oh, Trowa, come in," Lara greeted. She was dressed in her office clothes but didn't seem to be on her way out any time soon. She looked a bit distressed and hurried.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, sensing her nervous tension as she led him in.

"Unfortunately, yes," she answered. "I haven't been able to leave Quatre alone for so long," she said. "He might be coming down with something. He hasn't been able to move around since last week."

Trowa nodded. He already feared the worst. Hopefully, Quatre looked better than he was beginning to imagine.

"Please excuse him," she warned him before he made it all the way to Quatre's room. "He's a little difficult to deal with right now, especially since his depression is sinking in. I was hoping you could come sooner to make him feel better but what's important is that you're here now. I was also trying to convince him to have a doctor check him. Maybe you could help to convince him?"

It sounded like she was counting on him. In fact, everyone was counting on him to make Quatre feel better. He was a bit upset. Shouldn't he have someone to do the same for him as well? He had so much difficulty to deal with for quite some time now. He needed someone to be there for him too.

"I shouldn't think about that," Trowa murmured to himself.

He opened the door to the room and was pleasantly surprised to find that the sticky notes that had once filled the room were now gone. Not one trace of them could be seen from where he was standing. What he didn't find pleasant however, was the same lump on the bed that looked thinner and thinner every time he saw him.

Trowa remembered what the doctor had said although he didn't know the details of it. Perhaps the body did eventually deteriorate when the mind could no longer sustain it. His poor Quatre, he looked so fragile.

"Quatre," he started in a whisper. "I just wanted to check up on you. I know I promised I wouldn't come anymore but I just had to, for a little while."

Quatre didn't say anything but instead oriented his head toward him. His face looked calm and very tired but there were droplets of tears streaming down his face. The tears looked misplaced since his face said nothing to explain the tears.

"Why are you crying?" Trowa asked, coming closer to the bed and then taking his seat at the edge. He couldn't resist it, the urge to reach his hand out, so he did. As gently as he could, he wiped the tears from the edge of Quatre's eyes with his thumb. With his other hand, he pushed back the wisps of hair on his face. It felt right somehow.

"I don't know," Quatre answered. "I just feel sad but I don't know why."

Trowa presumed it must have been the side effects of his disease. He knew they had to act quickly and get Quatre to a specialist, preferably someone who wasn't crazy.

"Do you feel up to standing so you could change? We should see a doctor right away," Trowa said, continuing to stroke his hair. To hell with his proclamation that Quatre wasn't his. 

"I don't know. I don't know if I should go with you," Quatre answered. "I don't even know you."

It hurt. It hurt every time but he was used to it by now. There was still the little ache that nudged at him but at the moment, it wasn't important.

"But don't you feel that you trust me just a little bit?" Trowa said, still trying to convince Quatre that they really needed to get to the hospital quickly. He was no expert in diseases of any kind but he was sure Quatre looked too sick, too pale to be left alone in the bed.

"I guess," Quatre answered, rubbing his fisted hands against his eyes as he yawned. "Hmm, I'm so sleepy though," he continued.

"Adorable," Trowa whispered to himself. 

Before he could convince Quatre one more time, his phone went off. Quatre's response was to scream quite suddenly in terror. Trowa could do nothing but rub his arm with one hand and use the other to hold the phone up to his ear.

"Duo," he said dryly.

"Geez man, what are you doing to him?" Duo's voice said from the other end of the line.

"The loud interruption frightened him," Trowa answered. "Is there anything important you need to tell me?"

"Yeah. Remember the shopping list of medications we had to pick up for Quat from his last visit?"

"Yes."

"Sally recognized some of them."

"And..."

"It's obvious enough. They weren't supposed to make him feel better. They're supposed to make it worse."

Trowa turned off his phone. They needed to go see a real doctor fast. He held Quatre's shoulders at arm's length and tried to calm him down. 

"Quatre," he said, the urgency of the matter mixing in with the worry. "I need you to help me here," he asked, almost pleading.

Quatre stopped shaking and slowly looked up to his face, an ounce of recognition beginning to show itself.

"Let's go, okay?"

"Can't," Quatre answered, dropping his head on Trowa's shoulder. "It's not time yet."


	15. Part Fifteen

**Memento [Part Fifteen]**

They were loud even after they convinced him to get some rest while they handled matters. It wasn't that they were inconsiderate; they were just trying too hard to whisper. It was getting annoying. Sometimes, talking normally sounded much better than poorly controlled whispers. Trowa could hear them so well he began to wonder if they really intended for him to get some rest.

"What is it? Heero, I'm pretty sure you know something and you're just not telling us. Spill it."

Trowa shifted position. It was apparent that Duo noticed something strange about Heero as well. If he wasn't going to get any decent sleep, at least he was going to hear some useful information. It was always difficult to ask Heero direct questions but Duo was an expert at it. If there was anyone who could get it out of him, it would be Duo.

"I suggest you do as the man says or we're not leaving this place until we hear it."

Wufei was in on it too. Trowa's interest in the matter heightened. This was something big. Perhaps he wasn't the only one to notice Heero's unease. His comrade's calm disposition was replaced with an unusually tense posture that could only mean something was not going well. He only wondered how long ago since the others noticed.

"You'd rather not hear it from me right now," Heero answered in a somewhat irritated tone. "Besides, we have enough problems on our hands already."

"Oh, so we're dealing with _the_ Quatre here, aren't we?" Duo asked.

Trowa's ears picked up on the conversation. Duo was good. He led Heero right into it.

"Are we?" Wufei added.

Trowa shifted his position yet again.

"We both know that I wasn't the last person to talk to him Heero," Duo said in that knowing tone he liked using. "You and Quat could be such a pain sometimes, keeping things to yourselves. What was so important that you two had to make that last communication private?"

"How come I wasn't aware of this?" Wufei cut in before Heero could answer. He practically echoed Trowa's concern.

"Wu, let's do this one by one. Grill Heero first and then me, okay?"

"Fine."

"I'd rather not," Heero insisted.

Trowa had to hold his breath. There _had_ been something Heero had been hiding from him. He wondered what it was that Quatre told him. It might have had something to do with that damnable day. That was the only reason why Heero could have withheld information from them.

"Can't you tell me anything?" Duo pleaded with him. "There must be at least something you could tell us."

There was a short pause. Trowa could almost feel Heero giving in.

"Fine, only one thing," Heero answered. "He told me to take care of Trowa."

Trowa sat up from his reclined position on the couch. That only meant one thing.

"Damn it," Duo exclaimed, punching his fist on the first hard surface it came into contact with. "Quatre knew, didn't he? I knew it! There was no way he didn't see it coming. He knew all along but he didn't get his ass out of there."

"Don't tell me he decided it on his own," Wufei said. He sounded confused and incredulous at the same time. "What was he thinking? I remember his words exactly - there is always an alternate solution to every problem. There should have been some other way."

"There was none," Heero responded although he didn't look like he believed what he said. 

They had yet to notice the observant Trowa whose fists were slowly closing in and out in barely contained anger. He had chosen to remain quiet but had taken to watching them pace around the linoleum floor. It angered him to find that Quatre had deliberately put himself in danger. It was never an option. They had discussed it several times before. 

Trowa shook his head in disbelief. Even he had promised Quatre that he would never do such a thing. It was a pact, an agreement between the two of them. He always trusted Quatre to get himself out of trouble without his interference. Attracting trouble to oneself to save another from danger was not an option simply because there was always an alternative. 

Never had he broken that promise even during the most terrifying instances when deadly weapons were held directly at Quatre's head. He had always stayed calm despite his worry and trusted his friends to take care of his spouse. There were even nights when he couldn't sleep, watching Quatre's chest rise and fall as if the public speeches he had to give would be his downfall.

"We need details here," Duo said, snapping Trowa out of his thoughts.

Heero hesitated again. "Believe me, I would tell you," he answered. "But there's something I have to figure out first."

"Aha! You just set yourself up for another round of questioning buddy," Duo said. "What exactly are you trying to figure out?"

Before the questioning could go any further, Trowa stood up and with a loud fist against his palm, let his presence be known. He knew he looked livid. The look on their faces confirmed that. No one dared to say a word and it was fine with him. They were done talking as far as he knew. It was his turn. Instead of asking questions, he looked at each of them in the eyes and dictated his command.

"I want every single person who knows even the most miniscule detail about that incident in this room in five minutes. I don't care what they're doing. I want them here."

"You mean, uh, Une and all of them?" Duo managed to ask.

"I said 'all'," Trowa reiterated in a deadly calm voice. "As long as you think they know something, they better be here."

Within seconds, they were gone. Trowa took a seat in one of the empty chairs. Slowly, his body seemed to calm down as if sitting was the most relaxing thing in the world. It must have been his body's response to his earlier rise in blood pressure or it may have simply been a quick break before he released the rest of his anger.

Quatre had betrayed his trust, he thought again, and so had Heero. The result of that betrayal was worth years of agony he could not even begin to describe. Far from his mind were the details of what Quatre must have gone through. He was stubborn that way. He was selfish too. He didn't concede, however, and continued his selfish assessment of the incident he'd imagined many times before. It was his turn to react, his turn to be true to what he really felt. Saying that he was concerned was a lie but displaying his sincere anger was genuine. He felt it was the right reaction.

"Quick! Get in there already," Duo's voice echoed from the hallways. At least they were doing as told. Fear was a useful tool sometimes. It drove people to work harder.

"No, not that room...It's the room across."

It was like delivering a herd of lambs to slaughter; the way his friends lead the unsuspecting people. It was a shame they didn't know how he felt. That would have at least helped them understand that what he needed was information, not sympathy. Sympathy could always wait for a more appropriate time, preferably when his feelings have been sorted out.

"Warning... Trowa's pissed and we all know that a calm and angry Trowa is five times worse than an angry and screaming Wufei."

Ah, Duo was kind enough to warn them. Too bad it wasn't going to do them any good.

Trowa turned his head toward the door and then looked at the large wall clock. It wasn't even five minutes. He was satisfied to find that they were taking him seriously.

"Sit and talk," Trowa said right away without taking the chance to check his guests for the afternoon. He placed his folded hands on top of the table and then looked at the ring finger on his left hand. It was adorned with the ever-present reminder. He felt a sudden urge to touch it.

"I've told you everything we discovered in the investigation. If you want to find out anything else, you'll have to ask more specifically."

Trowa nodded. He suspected that Noin would be the first to talk but he didn't anticipate her nervous, almost calculated manner of speaking.

"Is the body really him?" Duo asked carefully. He too wanted to get to the bottom of it. It was as hard on him as it was hard on all of them. It just happened that Duo knew the right questions to ask.

"It's him," Sally answered without hesitation. The answers seemed cold but that was what he wanted. It was the mood he set-up ever since they set foot in the room. "It is him without a doubt," she reiterated.

Trowa looked up to meet her eyes, to confirm that the sincerity being delivered through her voice was also present in those orbs. He could instantly tell if they were lying with one look and he was sure she wasn't lying.

"This isn't it. It can't be."

The sounds of creaking chairs indicated that everyone shifted in their seat. Only, no one would have expected that they'd be turning their eyes toward Heero. If anyone should have said it, it should have been Trowa.

"Perhaps you should elaborate on that unless you want these people to think you're being uncharacteristically emotional," Wufei interjected. The confusion was cleared all of a sudden. It seemed that Wufei had been the only one who understood Heero's words. There was more to it than they thought.

"The engineer... _he_ is Quatre."

Trowa massaged his aching head. He hoped for two things at the same time - that Heero could back up his statement and also that he couldn't. It was complicated and it was aggravating. If there was evidence that the engineer was their Quatre then it would bring them relief. At the same time, it would create a second riddle they'd have to solve. After all, having two Quatres at once wasn't at all possible. Only one of them had to be the real one.

"Heero buddy, I know we're all attached to our sickly, skinny engineer but don't you think maybe that we need a little more evidence. We had him checked and the genes just don't match up."

"It's a feeling," Heero answered and Duo couldn't find a way to tell him that it wasn't enough. 

Sure, it wasn't enough but Trowa could tell that all of them trusted Heero's instincts when it came to Quatre. It was something Trowa would never admit to being jealous of but it was the truth. Heero could always tell Quatre's condition just by simply thinking about him.

"You do have such excellent skills when it comes to zero-four, zero-one."

Trowa almost wished Une didn't say that out loud but at least she was giving an indication that she knew something else.

"It _is_ zero-four."

If Trowa were crazy enough, he would have throttled Une for not saying it sooner. However, since he was calmer than he was a few minutes ago, he thought it wise to leave her alone during her zero mode. If she wasn't using their first names then it was an indication that she was dead serious.

"Then that means..."

Images of his last visit with that same engineer came to mind quickly. Quatre wasn't doing so well and in fact was bad enough that they feared the worst of him.

"But the blood tests and all those different tests," Duo started, voicing out all their questions.

"I only know one thing for certain," Une answered. "It is him without a doubt."

Trowa bolted out the door before anyone could stop him. The details about Quatre's quasi-existence were incomplete but it didn't matter. For the time being, he was able to hear the one information he was interested in. Quatre's whereabouts were finally revealed. It didn't matter if there were two impossible truths to his existence. Whether he indeed was the sickly replica or the mutilated body wasn't his concern at all. All he needed was a responsive face to voice out his frustrations to. 

"Barton," Wufei said, the voice stopping him before he could exit headquarters completely. "It's too soon. You will regret going now when you could have sorted it out in your head first. You haven't even heard the whole story. We can't conclude that it really is him from this little information we have."

"I don't need to," Trowa answered while hurrying to his intended destination. "I already heard what I needed to."

===

Trowa opened the door to Quatre's room, his third attempt at getting him out of his own bed and into a hospital. Nothing could describe his mix of anger and desperation aside from the grim expression on his face. His last few stabs at getting Quatre to at least stand up were fruitless. Even the others had failed and in addition had received cranky retorts and unreasonable behavior from their supposed friend. Trowa had enough of it.

"I'm coming in," he announced before opening the door. He had an empty suitcase in hand. "Let's go," he said simply and waited for a positive response. When he heard none, he looked sternly at the ill and seemingly decrepit man lying on the bed. It was hard to believe it was his husband.

Quatre looked sullen; his former vigor with throwing things around had gone down only to be replaced with an unlikely stupor. He was sick alright. His eyes were sunken and he looked worse than he did a few hours ago if at all possible. 

"Damn it Quatre! Get up from the bed. I'm taking you to the hospital whether you like it or not."

Still, there was no answer or even a reaction that at least gave him a hint of whether or not he was being heard. It was like talking to a stone wall. Quatre didn't even blink.

"Fine, I might as well pack your things while you stare at the ceiling."

With barely controlled vexation, he opened up the empty suitcase and began stuffing Quatre's clothes in rather carelessly. Piece after piece of clothing was dumped unceremoniously in the bag that it was as if the task was an unbearable chore for him. With every shirt or random sock that was put in, Trowa's anger and resentment grew further. With so much force that wasn't meant to be delivered to a cotton shirt, he slammed each innocuous piece in one at a time.

"You don't have to be so forceful," Quatre whispered all of a sudden. 

The voice seemed to be the key to open the floodgates to his temper. Setting aside his task, he looked up to meet Quatre's eyes. He didn't know what evil had possessed him and yet he knew that he had the right to feel the way he did. It was stupid. His years of mourning culminated at a simple answer that neither gave him conclusion nor ended his sorrow. It simply eroded his deeply embellished relationship with his so-called deceased spouse.

With a sudden brutality that he thought he could never carry out with the one person he treasured the most, he stood up and then slammed his tight fists on either side of Quatre's head. The bed shook with the impact and caused Quatre's head to jump and land somewhere near his fisted right hand. Quatre didn't even blink.

"There must be at least something you remember," Trowa screamed with a voice he didn't know he possessed. "All those wasted years and you forget the one thing that matters the most. You forgot the story of us. Somehow you've got to get it into that head of yours that we were once married. I loved you for God's sake and no matter how I say it you won't understand a damn thing if you don't remember anything about us."

Trowa felt his face turn red as if all his blood decided to rise to his head to support the internal rage he couldn't completely release. Despite his attempts to control it, he failed to maintain his calm and had taken to screaming every single word that came out of his mouth. Anyone else would have been terrified but Quatre was strangely clam, expressionless even.

"You can't possibly imagine..." Trowa continued with tears starting to pour down his face. It was like talking to a random stranger who couldn't empathize with him.

"I'm sorry but I don't remember anything. I don't know you," Quatre answered quite sincerely but it wasn't the answer he wanted to hear.

Trowa withdrew from his position and sat down on the floor to begin arranging the pieces of clothing he had already ruined in his outburst. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. To have actually been so cruel towards an ailing, defenseless man was unthinkable. He felt foolish but not sorry enough to apologize. He was still crying but chose to keep the rest of his unusual emotionality to himself.

Little by little he picked up and arranged any random material he could get his hands on. Some of them were torn but it didn't matter. He wasn't even thinking anymore, just doing the job as mechanically as he could. It wasn't that hard to do considering that the only other person in the room was neither talking nor moving. Quatre's condition was serious, it was obvious enough but that wasn't his utmost concern at the moment.

He felt Quatre shift and his reaction was to sigh. He shouldn't have come in the first place. Wufei was right. The others may have been more suited to handle the situation. Perhaps someone else could convince Quatre that he needed to get off the bed.

Trowa stood up, the still undone job left on the floor. Without saying anything, he walked to the door intending to leave right away. However, after he'd successfully turned the knob, he heard a hoarse whisper that forced him to look at the owner of the voice. 

"This must be my punishment," Quatre said carefully while looking at him. "This must be my punishment for forgetting something that important."

Trowa didn't know what to say and simply walked out of the room and then shut the door. When he stepped out, he wasn't surprised to find three shocked faces staring at him as if he'd murdered someone. He expected it, their rightful judgment. Instead of denying his evil he walked away with a last note.

"We were never flawless you know," he said while walking away. "We did use to fight. You should check one of those tapes embedded in his gut. I'm sure whoever was responsible for this managed to record those instances as well."

Those were his exact words but that didn't mean that the heartless statement didn't make him shudder inside.


	16. Part Sixteen

**Memento [Part Sixteen]**

The gym was a good place to vent anger. At least, that was what he was told. In truth, the workout was not helping him much. It was probably Heero's presence not a few feet away that must have caused the anxiety. It didn't help much either that he wasn't alone. If only they'd leave him alone for a few hours...

"No. This is a team effort Wu," he heard Duo's whisper from the swimming pool not far from the bench press he was stationed at. "But you know, I don't think I'd take it against him if he really wanted to snap Heero's neck."

"You may be right," Wufei answered. "…even if it is such a disgraceful act."

Trowa could almost imagine Wufei's defeated look of acquiesce as he agreed with Duo. He had to evaluate what they just said. Disgraceful, huh? Maybe a couple of hours ago he would have thought it disgraceful. Unfortunately, the person he was a few hours ago was not agreeing with the person he was now. What made matters worse was that Heero was not trying to avoid him. Instead of ensuring his safety by staying away as far as possible, the man deliberately followed him around. Heero did not say a word, but he was still letting his presence be known in different ways. He was hovering around him. It was enough of a safety hazard for Heero that Duo and Wufei were forced to follow them around. Now, instead of being left alone in peace, he was followed around by a suicidal Heero and his two preventive friends who were surely not going to leave any time soon.

"I'm scared," he heard Duo whisper to his current partner. 

Wufei was surprisingly cautious. He had yet to attempt reconciling them. He was quiet as if he didn't know what to do. Then again, he may have been unable to come up with a plausible solution.

"We should let them fight it out."

Trowa turned his head toward the direction of the pool, confused as to what Wufei had just suggested. He knew the two would have guessed by now that he was hearing everything they were saying and he was curious to find out exactly what Wufei had in mind. He did come up with such clever solutions to problems even if his way of doing things tended to get out of hand.

"Are you crazy? I was just kidding when I said it the first time," Duo said immediately. It was obvious enough that he would react that way, being used to Quatre's pacifist solutions. Truth be told, being around Quatre all those years taught Duo how to solve disputes in a more sociable and pleasant manner.

Heero may have heard the incredulous statement but he did not make a move to acknowledge that he'd heard. Trowa knew better than to react and continued to keep quiet as well. The heavy weight he was in the process of lifting was enough to keep his attention on the task at hand. At least bench pressing served as a momentary distraction for him.

"I mean it," Wufei said while shushing Duo. It was as if they weren't loud enough already. "We can't work efficiently when tension is building up within the team," he explained.

He heard a bit of splashing as if the two had finally decided to do laps in the pool. Only, when he looked back, Trowa noticed that Duo was submerging Wufei's head under the water. It was enough to make Wufei fight back in annoyance and squeeze Duo's throat threateningly hard.

Duo sputtered and for once in the past few hours, the unusually agreeable pair finally showed their true colors. By the time Trowa reached the pool, the two were already exchanging deadly threats. Heero also noticed and was not far behind.

"Ack! Were you trying to kill me?" Duo asked, looking furious while rubbing his throat.

Trowa knew that they would snap eventually. All the while they were worrying that he would start a brawl with Heero when it was the two of them who were going to go at it. The two never did learn how to be diplomatic when around each other. It was only a matter of time until they were going to have another petty fight.

"Of course I was!" Wufei answered with as much vigor as Duo. "You were trying to drown me so I thought it necessary, if not proper, to extract my revenge by killing you."

"Damn it! You're such a war freak, you know that. No wonder you suggest solving everything with the fist first," Duo countered while tugging hard on his comrade's dark hair.

"Let go of me you imbecile!"

"Savage!"

Trowa watched them, fascinated with the fight for a reason he could not understand. Watching all the veins on Wufei's head appear, he imagined what it would be like to have a genuine fight that involved shameless displays and childish retorts. He wondered what the relief would be like after letting go of whatever it was he had bottled up inside. The call of such a fierce battle was too strong.

He looked behind him to confirm if Heero felt the same way. The man looked jealous of the two fighting lunatics. It was strange when he realized that he was also jealous.

"You can't solve everything by beating the shit out of someone, idiot!" Duo screamed this time as he landed a satisfying blow on Wufei's jaw.

"I don't see how you think that," Wufei responded with a smirk. He rubbed the injured jaw with the back of his hand and backed away a bit. "Are you telling me that punching my face wasn't as gratifying as it was violent?"

"Of course it was!" Duo answered with a growl. "And I'd feel a lot better if I got to do it again," he added, rubbing his fist and looking ready to attack once again.

"Then you've just agreed with me," Wufei answered simply and rather smugly.

"Eh?" Duo said. The intensity of his earlier conviction was gone, only to be replaced with mild curiosity. "What are you talking about, smartass?"

"If you and I can brawl like uncivilized gorillas and feel good after doing so then why can't those other two idiots benefit from it as well?"

Duo rubbed his fingers under his chin, looking interested in Wufei's argument. Trowa was also interested even if he didn't give any indication of it.

"That's a rather strange way of putting it," Duo agreed. He placed his arms over the side of the pool and addressed his two spectators. Trowa already knew what they were thinking.

"Think of it this way," Wufei said, getting out of the pool and reaching for his towel. "We need to move on with the investigation and unless we work as a trusting unit, we can't move forward. I know Quatre would most likely oppose my proposed method, but he isn't here now. We should rely on the options we have available. If anyone has a more plausible solution to our problem, speak now."

Trowa did not oppose the suggestion and was in fact looking forward to it. He was reluctant to involve himself in a fight that would reveal the somewhat foolish reasoning he had spurned from hate. However, he knew that being honest was necessary to allow all of them to move on. They had already accepted the evidences concerning Quatre's whereabouts, but they had yet to evaluate them. Without being able to rely on each other with full conviction, they would be unable to separate the hard facts from the emotions. They needed to fight. It was as simple as that.

"I agree," Heero said after keeping his mouth shut for some time.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Duo said with a bizarre hint of enthusiasm. He left the pool as Wufei did earlier and grabbed the first towel he could find. Quickly toweling himself down, he sat down next to Wufei on a bench nearby and watched them expectantly.

"You didn't tell me," Trowa said calmly, refusing to start it out with a fist fight. First, he needed to know Heero's reasons for keeping vital information from him and then he could land a long-awaited punch on his comrade's gut.

"I tried to," Heero answered him. 

Trowa whirled around to face him. His former aloofness was replaced with seething fury.

"And when was that?" he hissed. The green depths of his eyes were conveying the undeniable emotions he felt as he said it.

Despite the obvious resentment being directed at him, Heero remained calm.

"Before we met Quatre's new character in the interrogation room, I told you that I had a strange feeling. I said that I was going to tell you about it over dinner that night."

"What stopped you?" Trowa inquired, looking away from him. It was no use acting out of emotion when the person on the receiving end was taking it in diplomatically. He knew it was a powerful weapon, but he never realized it until it was used against him. There was no point losing to something he normally had complete control over. Trying to compose himself, Trowa let out a loud sigh.

"I wanted to find out if it really was him," Heero said. "I was almost certain that it was him, but after seeing the way he looked at you, I couldn't go through with it."

Trowa closed his eyes and felt the tension seep out of him. He needed Heero to elaborate his point.

Sitting on the closest bench available, he looked up at Heero's still standing form and without saying a word, urged him to go on with the explanation. Words were no longer necessary between them. It was a subtle form of team work that the two of them had grown accustomed to over the years.

"He didn't know who you were," Heero continued. "The look you had when you found out... it was the same look Quatre had many years ago after he realized that he'd blown you up together with the Vayeate. He looked hurt that you didn't know who he was. I wasn't stupid enough not to notice that you had the same look when you saw him in the interrogation room. You wanted him to recognize you. I didn't want you hurt because I made a promise with him three years ago that I'd take care of you."

None of them made a move to counter Heero's lengthy statement. Even Trowa did not dare speak. Slowly, the pieces were coming together. There was, however, the matter of their encounters with the replicate Quatre several times after. It was an issue that needed to be addressed.

"We were with him for so long. Why didn't you tell us after?" Duo asked. Trowa was relieved that the questions he had were shared by his other friends. 

"I had my doubts," Heero responded, taking a seat as well. By doing so, the tension in the room went down tenfold. He no longer looked like he was being cross-examined by ravenous beasts. He was just another friend sharing the same concerns they had. It was always comforting to know. They were a team after all. 

"After a while," Heero said, leaning forward as if to speak more closely to his comrades. "I had my doubts about whether it really was him or someone else. Aside from the way he looked, I couldn't pinpoint any similarities between him and our Quatre. He had a different life, different interests, and different friends. He was too established as someone else to have been someone we were acquainted with."

"I agree," Wufei interrupted. "He could not have possibly recreated himself in the three years he was away. It's almost impossible if not absurd. There would be no reason for him to make himself alien to us."

"I know!" Duo agreed with an eagerness to join in the discussion. "But there were so many clues that said otherwise. It was like he was there without being himself."

"The more important question is," Wufei said. "Why is he sick now? Does being ill have anything to do with the change?"

There was a moment of silence as they thought about the questions being brought up one by one. Trowa was listening, but his interests lay elsewhere. He was still stuck on phase one, still questioning whether the Quatre they had stumbled upon was really his husband.

"How would you know it was him?" Trowa asked aloud and it was clear who the question was directed toward.

"I just do."

"Typical," Trowa said. His confused emotions were still threatening to break open. Without thinking anymore about the consequences of his next question, he asked it out loud. "How come you always know where he's at and how he's feeling? What kind of almighty power do you have?"

Silence reigned once again. True, they had always questioned the strange connection between Quatre and Heero, but nobody dared ask why, much less ask Heero directly.

"I don't know," Heero answered honestly. He looked unperturbed even when it was unmistakable that the real fight was just beginning.

"That answer does nothing for me," Trowa said. He stood up from his seat and positioned himself at the edge of the pool. There he observed the undisturbed water that smelled of chlorine and chemicals.

"Are you jealous?" Heero dared to ask. He sounded indifferent, an indication that he was not trying to goad Trowa on. Nonetheless, it still had the same effect.

Trowa heard a scared yelp from Duo's direction.

"He always knew when you had a headache at three am and yet he couldn't possibly picture what it would be like if I lost him," Trowa answered and faced Heero with as much anger as he could possibly show. "Of course I'm jealous," he yelled. "He could trust you with something this critical but he can't even keep a promise with me."

"There's no need for jealousy," Heero reassured him. "What he and I share will never be as valuable as what the two of you shared. There should be no reason for doubting him, especially not right now."

"Easy for you to say," Trowa said, grabbing a towel and wiping away his sweat. He was leaving. There was no longer any need for him to hear it, their consoling and helpful statements that did nothing but aggravate his anger and magnify his doubts.

"Damn it, Trowa!" he heard Heero shout as he exited the gym area. "He chose to marry you. That should be enough." Unfortunately, he didn't agree with the statement. It still wasn't enough.

The bathroom was empty when he entered, enough that the sound of his footsteps reverberated throughout the large room. It wasn't dark but the sunlight coming in through the windows above his head was not enough. It made the place feel abandoned.

All of a sudden he felt sadness, a deep sadness that left him feeling sorry for himself. He felt empty and was confused because of the sudden change. Only moments ago he was furious; only days ago he felt betrayed. It was only a little while ago when he was sure that he was rational. Now he just felt empty and abandoned just like the bathroom that had barely any lighting inside.

For a moment he contemplated crying, but he realized that he had done enough of it already. Instead of doing so, he stepped into the shower and reveled in the company of silence as he washed away the tension and the worry. He knew it was time to visit Quatre once again. The others had told him that they'd successfully brought him to a hospital. Quatre had mentioned that he was too tired to fight any longer. 

Trowa had to wonder if he was hiding something, but didn't have time to contemplate any more when he heard the bathroom door open. He knew that one of them would eventually come for him. At least he had an excuse not to talk any more. He was in the shower after all.

"You have to hear this," Heero said amidst the sound of water hitting the tiled floors.

Trowa nodded although he knew that Heero didn't see him. Based on experience, he knew that Heero would insist on doing what he thought necessary anyway.

"You haven't heard the last communication," Heero continued. "...and neither did the others. I suppose it's about time you heard it from him directly. I'm going to let you hear this if you want to know what really happened without presupposing anything."

Trowa snorted. He didn't believe the sincerity in Heero's voice. It just felt too staged.

"Turn off the shower if you want to hear it," Heero commanded and so he did.

"Good. Now pay close attention to the whole conversation. It might do you some good."

Trowa leaned on the tiled walls of the shower stall and waited for the promised message. When he heard the sound of a button clicking and the winding of tape, he made sure to listen carefully to the voices that came out of the voice recorder.

"Zero-one, hold your position."

It was Quatre's voice. He always headed the operations even when he was part of the conference meeting. He was doing two jobs at once that way. Trowa could not imagine how he could have possibly done both at once.

"Negative. The attack is heading for your direction. It will reach you in a little less than eight minutes," Heero's voice said. What followed was a crackling sound before Quatre's voice came on again.

"I am well aware of that zero-one. Walta has someone aiming for him at three o'clock and Ms. Darlian has one at six. They require assistance. I can take care of myself."

"Don't think I'm going against your authority zero-four, but I have a feeling you're not going to evade."

There was another short pause and the sounds of crackling static.

"Affirmative, zero-one."

"Zero-three will not approve."

"This decision is not for zero-three to make. Do your job zero-one and stop questioning my authority."

"It's reckless and dangerous. My head will be sliced and put on a stake before the day is over."

"Zero-three will do you no harm."

"I beg to differ."

Trowa crossed his arms. Quatre was right. He had yet to hit Heero. It was either he was just waiting for the right time to hit him or Quatre was right in assuming that he would never do such a thing even when he felt like it. 

"This is for zero-three, you know." Quatre's voice became softer, almost as if the commanding leader was replaced with the concerned lover.

"How so?" Heero sounded like he was running around a cluster of thick bushes while continuing to talk to Quatre.

"These are the same people stalking him. I'm going to find out who they are and put an end to it."

"Improbable. Without a past, Zero-three is not likely to have enemies."

"Zero-one, sniper at eight o'clock."

A shot could be heard before the conversation continued.

"It's true that zero-three is the least likely to accumulate adversaries from what I gather about his past but this is legitimate. I've noticed surveillance devices around us for quite some time now. Someone is watching him and there's no telling when that someone will strike."

"So you've decided to strike first."

"Affirmative."

"I won't allow it. Change position now. Two unidentified units are closing in on you at T minus 20 seconds. "

"Pay attention to Walta, zero-one. I can handle this myself."

"Zero-two and zero-three will watch out for Walta."

"Negative zero-one. Zero-three's shoelaces are untied. He won't make it in time after he trips and falls on zero-two. I'm leaving it up to you. Take the sniper down before Walta is eliminated."

"Damn it! You have this all figured out, don't you?"

"Do you trust me, zero-one?"

Trowa heard a sigh, a sign of hesitation on Heero's part.

"Of course I do."

"Then leave this to me. Nobody dares mess with my husband, especially not by cowardly watching behind the shadows. Take care of him for me."

"I will."

"That's not a request zero-one. It's an order."

Trowa heard a loud thud before the communication was cut short.


	17. Part Seventeen

Note: You might not recognize the guy Heero has brought to Trowa's attention in the latter part of this chapter. Since it's been so long, you could always refer to Part 11 to refresh your memory. ^_~

**Memento [Part Seventeen]**

He shot them down one by one, once shiny teeth that seemed to have degenerated with age. The look on his victim's face remained the same although the mocking grin on its visage stayed in place. Its bright smile, accentuated by hideous make-up, excessive lipstick, and a huge nose seemed to ridicule him, but he ignored it. The process was strangely addicting. It made him feel powerful, contradictory to how he'd been feeling lately. The simple task made him feel like someone no less than a god.

"Uh, congratulations sir! Please take your pick from the last row."

Trowa turned indifferent eyes toward the fearful, plump man hovering next to him. The man was frightened but sent him a bright smile, rivaling the one on his target's face. He may have been in a detached mood but didn't fail to notice the false enthusiasm being sent his way.

"The duck will do fine," he said, pointing to the equally plump bird on the far end of the shelf labeled 'Win This!'.

Presented with a foot-tall baby duck, Trowa nodded in satisfaction. He pinched the beak of his newest possession, noting the way his fingers were embedded in the soft material. It almost made him smile.

"You're running us out of business, Trowa."

He didn't turn to face the owner of the voice but was courteous enough to answer.

"On the contrary, Cathy, I'm attracting paying customers," he said, indicating the group of onlookers who suddenly looked excited to try the shooting game he'd just left. "I've just made shooting teeth out of a cardboard clown look fun."

"True, but you've won all the prizes and there's nothing left for the customers," she pointed out and grabbed the bag full of stuffed animals from his hand. "I'll be returning these to where they belong," she added and then left without asking him if he wanted any of them. As far as he was concerned, it was fair trade. He executed the rigged, almost impossible amusement park games and received prizes in return. He almost sulked at the thought of giving them back.

Fortunately, his dear sister had forgotten to take the duck with her, causing Trowa to smirk in response to his modest victory. He held the toy tighter against him and surveyed his surroundings. In a little less than three hours, he had successfully completed every game that required precise aiming. In fact, he proudly noted that not one target had been missed. It was good to know that he didn't lose his touch years after he piloted his gundam.

"I didn't know you liked ducks," Catherine spoke from behind him. "Now that you look like you're in a better mood, why don't you tell me why you came all of a sudden?"

"You sound like I'm a bother," Trowa responded without facing her and examined his newest possession once again.

"Trowa, you know I don't mean it that way. It's just that Heero called me before you came and he sounded upset. That guy never sounds upset."

Trowa turned towards her, his good mood gone all of a sudden. It had been only a few hours since he left the Preventer headquarters and the mere thought of Heero still irked him. His friend's steel resolve coupled with his newfound baby-sitting instincts annoyed him. He'd be damned if he couldn't take care of himself.

"I assume he told you everything," Trowa said, his eyes seeming to burn through her. She looked unperturbed. 

"He told me nothing," she answered, using the same method of curt responses he liked using on her. That annoyed him even more, but it wasn't enough of a cause to hate her. He could do nothing but sigh.

"We should discuss this elsewhere. I doubt Une would be happy if I divulged classified information in the open."

"The animal cages should be the perfect place," she suggested. "Those big babies miss you since you barely come to visit. But first, let me return that last piece I missed."

Trowa pulled his arms back and held on to his stuffed duck.

"Mine," was all he said before Catherine shrugged and let go of it.

When they reached the cages, the lions were the first to greet him, seemingly excited to see their old friend. The almost deafening roars could have scared anyone else but Trowa knew better. Their paws were outstretched as far as the cage allowed, beckoning him to come closer. He obliged them.

Always a man of few words, Trowa did not say anything but instead ran his fingers through the large beast's thick fur. Catherine could almost sense its satisfaction and mouthed an "I told you so" before sending him a nod of approval. Like beasts to their master, each and every lion made their way to Trowa's awaiting hand.

"There's two of him," Trowa started in a whisper.

"Two?" Catherine inquired.

"Quatre is both the engineer we've been watching over and the remains they found in L3," he said. "Although I'd like to think that he is still very much alive."

"Trowa, you just told me a few weeks ago that you've had this new Quatre checked and it isn't him at all," she said and looked at him with concern.

Trowa closed his eyes, continuing to run his fingers through the lion's mane. He was just as confused as she was. He did not want to explain the situation again, but there was much that she did not know. 

"Heero said it was him," he said distastefully. It was obvious that he still disliked the idea of Heero knowing everything about his love. "Whatever Heero says about him is absolute. Even I can't match his accuracy when it comes to Quatre."

"Quatre loved you," Catherine responded in earnest and that statement made him look at her. He knew it was not an attempt on her part to make him feel better. It was the truth. 

The statement required an equally heartfelt answer, but his still muddled mind could not come up with one. No words seemed appropriate for a testimonial that moving.

"I'm sure you knew that," she added as if reassuring him. She sat herself down on one of the low benches and looked anywhere but at him. "Won't you tell me what's going on now?" she asked.

He was thankful. The way she could understand his inconsistent change in moods was almost ridiculous. She knew how to question without leaving a subject alone. It was as if she could read his mind. It made him more comfortable and her, more credible in his eyes.

"The Preventer team handling the investigation confirmed the body several times over and there is no doubt that it's him," Trowa told her, his tone of voice changing to fit his serious mood. "Together with the body, they found recordings of me. Quatre was never part of the picture. If anything, they must have used him to get to me... and it worked. I've never felt this miserable in my entire life."

He blinked, trying to keep his emotions in check. If he bawled now, he wouldn't be able to relate the entire story. Something about weeping made him unable to speak clearly. He would rather not have choked on his words. He did not have the heart to tell Catherine about the gruesome details, but they were still fresh in his mind. He could not forget the lifeless semi-remains that still haunted him at night. At the same time, he kept on thinking about Quatre's ailing counterpart who he knew wouldn't last much longer.

"I'm sure it was never his intention to hurt you," Catherine reasoned for his absent husband. "If it _was_ his intention then you know I'd be the first to scold him."

"I know," Trowa answered. "But I can't just watch the other him fall apart before my eyes either," he added.

Catherine looked at him, her question so evident in her face. Trowa did not need further prompting and continued with his narration.

"He isn't well," Trowa started, choosing his words so that they could both understand the situation. When he was first told about Quatre's condition, Wufei was on hand to explain the details he could not comprehend. Of course, these were ideas he never thought he would have to deal with. During times of war, one only had to know about treating open wounds and mental disturbances. His expertise was on fatal wounds, not on unfathomable diseases that took over the body in the course time.

"He's loosing his mind," he said.

"He's going crazy?" Catherine asked. "I don't understand."

"It's not that," Trowa explained and tried to remember what it was the condition was called. "Dementia... His brain cells are dying."

"Trowa, please elaborate. I don't mind waiting long if you have to be technical about it."

"Brain cells do not regenerate," he clarified. "Normal body cells are replaced with new ones when they die off. It's not the same with the brain. Apparently, once the cells in the brain are gone, they remain gone."

"It's hard to imagine how much effect that would have, but that still doesn't sound promising," Catherine said. "What kind of effect has it had on him?"

"He's been forgetting a lot of things. I've seen it happen gradually. He'd been drawing maps to get around places because he says he can't remember directions as clearly. I happened to enter his room once and found notes stuck to the drawers to indicate where his things were. He can't even recognize most faces or even objects sometimes. I thought it was strange but never suspected that it was a condition."

Trowa noticed that he was starting to squeeze his fisted hand. The situation angered him because he could do nothing about it and neither could his closest friends. He did not even have much time to digest the information before he left headquarters. Strange as it was, he could no longer stand the sight of his comrades. Catherine's face was a refreshing change.

"Are they giving him any medication?" Catherine inquired. What concern she had a few minutes ago had grown ten fold. Trowa realized just how much effect this new Quatre had on them. Catherine had never even seen him, but she was worried. He might as well have been the real thing.

"It's incurable," Trowa said and squeezed his eyes shut. He assumed that was how close others felt when they were loosing someone valuable. He understood then how Catherine must have felt when he was on the verge of self-destructing his gundam. Watching someone leave you was heart-breaking. Somehow, it hurt to watch Quatre lose the battle when he'd been strong enough to fight all others.

"How did he contract it? Isn't that supposed to be a disease of old age?"

"We don't know," Trowa answered, defeated and frustrated at the same time. "We had to find out through his supposed doctor; Marion I believe was his name. We couldn't get anything out of him."

"I don't know what to say," she said truthfully and Trowa nodded in understanding. It wouldn't do to make her as miserable as he was.

"What choices do I have left? It's either he's gone or he's going. There's no in between," Trowa whispered as if the question was meant only for him.

"What do your instincts tell you?" Catherine queried.

"I don't know," he said, choosing to sigh in defeat. "Isn't it strange that way? I should be the one to know. I should be able to tell, but I can't find traces of him anywhere. That's why I can't support Heero's claim, just trust that he knows."

"I thought that you would have taken my word for it."

Trowa tensed, placing his upturned palm against his weary eyes. He knew Heero would find him given his predictability as of late. He did not want to turn his face toward the intruder because doing so would make him all the more infuriated than he already was.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" Trowa asked aloud, aware that Catherine was worried about them. After all, disputes between them were rare. They were both collected, both stoics to a fault.

"Not until we resolve our little dilemma."

"This dilemma is anything but little Heero. You should know that," Trowa answered, irritation evident in his voice.

"I'm talking about the dilemma between us," Heero said steadily, again the voice of calm whenever Trowa felt like screaming. "The others are right. We won't get any further unless we resolve our issues."

Catherine seemed to sense their need for privacy and graciously stood up to take her leave.

"I'm sorry Catherine," Trowa said, keeping his eyes trained on Heero. "I promise that I'll visit again so we could have a longer conversation next time."

"Please forgive my intrusion," Heero added, leveling his gaze at Trowa. It was obvious that he was not going to back down despite his apology. "But we must resolve the matter between us quickly."

Trowa did not wait for her to leave before he started. In fact, he was so engrossed in antagonizing Heero that he did not notice when she left them alone.

"Why must we do this again?" he half-screamed. Trying to keep himself in check was taking its toll on him. He never imagined it would be so difficult, the control so precariously unbalanced when it came to matters of the heart. He reluctantly admitted that fragments of jealousy had been the cause of his anger. He realized that the feeling did not only become apparent now, but had been building up and stewing for years. Now was a good time as any to simply let out what he'd been ignoring for so long.

"There was something between us," Heero interjected before he could speak further. "He could always tell what I felt just as much as I could tell how he felt. Perhaps that was the reason why I fell in love with Quatre. Interpret that whichever way you want."

Steel resolve - it was what everyone had known Heero for. For once, Trowa wished that his comrade would be the one to break down, be the one to falter with his words. He wished Heero hadn't been so blunt, so honest about such a sensitive subject. It made him feel like the lesser being, one who did not have to guts to admit that the revelation hurt him.

Trowa closed his eyes and then shook his head. He knew he should have seen red at the honest admission, but it didn't affect him the way he thought it would. Instead, he felt a newfound respect for Heero for having the nerve and the outright insanity to admit it to him when he was very close to punching his lights out. He couldn't stop himself, so he laughed. It was more harried amusement than bitter resentment that bubbled from his lips.

"All this time I tried not to be paranoid," he said. "All this time and I simply denied what I knew was the case and here you are saying it straight out without even flinching."

Heero stayed silent, unyielding as always. It irritated Trowa. It was near impossible to get a more substantial reaction out of his comrade.

"That was why you covered for him all this time," Trowa continued. "You did just what he requested of you. Would I have done the same?" He let the last question linger as if his former anger directed towards Heero had turned into self-doubt over his failures.

"I wouldn't have, would I?" he asked again. "Does that mean that I love him less?"

"Oh, for the love of..." Heero muttered while hitting the cages he was closest to. The once purring lions were disturbed and reached out the fence to attack the person who had dared disturb their peace. "We're not the same Trowa," he said with a mixture of impatience and tolerance in his voice. "Otherwise, he would never have fallen for you the way he did."

"Heero," Trowa warned. "None of this is making me feel any better. You've completely defeated the purpose of resolving our little issue."

As if emulating what their master felt, the lions began to roar, causing Heero to back up half a step.

"Really Trowa," Heero said while his lips turned up to form a smirk. "The point was to get you to stop wondering about my malicious intentions now wasn't it?"

"Honestly, you being honest with your emotions get on my nerves. It also has the infuriating effect of making me feel like a complete jerk."

"And here I thought we agreed that Duo's exuberant reaction to mundane events annoyed you the most."

"Heero, must you piss me off continually?" Trowa replied, his mood strangely beginning to pick up. "Because I can assure you that you will regret antagonizing me any further." Though he had to admit, knowing that bit of information about Heero helped. Knowing that they no longer had anything to hide from each other was liberating.

"Now that you're in a better mood," Heero said casually like nothing had happened between them. He was obviously an expert in perusing his temper. "I bring you a present."

Trowa breathed out in exasperation. There was no use feigning anger when Heero already knew that he no longer felt that way. Really, sometimes he thought that he was far too easy to pacify, just like the lions who sat silent when they knew their master had calmed down.

"It better be good," Trowa said, leaning his back against the steel bars behind him. The stuffed duck was still held delicately against one arm despite his earlier loss of temper.

"You'll be delighted," Heero promised him, holding a hand up when Trowa started following him. "Stay here," he said and disappeared into a nearby tent. When he returned, he had a very bound, very gagged man in his hands.

"Heero, I highly doubt that you've decided to offer me human sacrifices," he said dryly, eyeing the poor man his comrade shoved before him.

"He found me while looking around for you," Heero said, explaining the importance of his supposed present. "I was holding a newspaper with a very big image of Quatre up front and this guy claims that he knows him."

"Everybody knows him Heero," Trowa said the obvious, apparently not amused one bit by Heero's explanation.

"Don't tell me you don't recognize this guy," Heero replied, raising an eyebrow while pointing at the man on the ground. There was something about that action that made Trowa think. As far as he knew, the guy did not register anything with him. 

Before he could examine any further, Heero removed the man's gag. Their prisoner then began to protest loudly about kidnapping, criminals, and young men joining the Preventer organization to take advantage of their authority. Trowa's brows knitted in confusion.

"How does he know we're Preventers?" he asked Heero, pinning him with a scrutinizing stare. Neither of them was wearing their uniforms and only those who knew them personally should have been able to tell.

"Crap Master 2000," was Heero's only reply.

That was when Trowa stepped back and looked at the sputtering man before him more critically than he had the first time. It wasn't often that his ability to identify was this flawed. He should have guessed the identity of the man even before Heero gave away any hints.

"It's Plow Master 500X!" the man protested indignantly. "Young folks these days don't even appreciate agricultural geniuses," he muttered.

"Remember the mobile suit with the fertilizer in the rear and the seeding hose in the front?" Heero elaborated, seeming to hold himself back from laughing. Trowa nodded, finally remembering why they had dubbed it 'Crap Master' in the first place. Duo's condom comment was not far from his mind. The incident almost made Trowa smile except that he had yet to find out what connection the man had to Quatre.

"Kindly tell my comrade how you know the man in the newspaper," Heero suggested, nudging the man lightly with his foot.

"Fine! He was a student of mine," the man answered, trying his best to loosen the binds Heero had tied. Unfortunately, Heero was very skilled at knotting.

"Student?" Trowa questioned, choosing to crouch down to stare at the man. He was a very good judge of character and could very accurately tell if someone was lying just by looking at their eyes.

"How else do you think he would have gotten his degree in that short amount of time? He turned out to be a great engineer I assume."

Trowa was about to question further when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He was curious but held back when he saw Heero staring down at him. Perhaps the circus wasn't the most conducive environment for interrogation. Besides, Wufei, their master interrogator, was nowhere in sight. Trowa nodded, standing up so that Heero would take care of the man.

"Why Trowa, aren't you going to kiss me for providing you with a very critical puzzle piece?" Heero mocked as he hauled the man up.

Trowa smirked, unable to hold in his amusement at Heero's unpredictable streak that day. His friend, he assumed, had probably had a very pleasurable and fulfilling talk with a 'princess' earlier that morning. Why else would he have been holding a newspaper? Only Relena had the audacity to shove such materials into Heero's hand without getting into trouble. Heero, after all, hated reading contrived summaries of the day's events as much as he did.

"How's Relena?" he decided to ask as he watched Heero dial a number into his cell phone.

"She reprimanded me for keeping valuable information from her although I don't know why. She's been handling the Quatre rumors quite gracefully without any concrete information from us."

"It seems that cruelty becomes you," Trowa said, looking down at the helpless man before him who was once again bound and gagged. "But you're still spineless enough not to ask her out."

"Watch it," Heero warned before speaking into his phone. Trowa watched him patiently as he sent orders to Wufei and scolded Duo for interrupting the conversation. It was a few minutes later when he ended the call and looked back at Trowa.

"Tell anybody about it and I'll tell everyone that the reason why you're clinging to that stuffed duck is because that's exactly the way Quatre looks like first thing in the morning."

Trowa looked at the aforementioned toy, noticing the big blue eyes plastered on it along with the funny and almost awkward way the yellow fur material jutted up from its head. He pinched the beak once again and promptly decided to shut up.


	18. Part Eighteen

**Memento [Part Eighteen]**

He could hear himself breathe in and out. The sound of it was rhythmic and it soothed him. It pleased him how much the near silence was comforting when all he had to deal with the past week were amalgamations of bad news and misunderstandings.  
  
"Quatre..." he whispered into the stale air of his room.  
  
His bed was cold and empty but soft enough that it molded itself around his aching back. That bit of comfort alone encouraged him to burrow himself further into the pillows.  
  
"It's not worth it," he scolded his non-existent lover. "...not for you or for me."  
  
He sighed, reaching his hand up to his neck to undo the perfectly knotted tie that remained there. His shoes and jacket had long since landed somewhere between the kitchen and the living room. He was still fully dressed, lying boneless on the mattress with his socked feet hanging from the end of the bed.  
  
"But you always were right," he continued. "I should trust that you knew what you were doing."  
  
Undoing his belt buckle and pulling it out, Trowa stared blankly at the ceiling. The small amount of light coming in through the windows made strange shadows that looked like distorted objects. It seemed insignificant but essential all the same, just like the little details in his situation he never took notice of.  
  
"I'm supposed to trust that you knew what you were doing. We all have to trust you on it, but that doesn't make it any easier. I still miss you."   
  
Silence answered him though it didn't bother him too much. It was what he had come to expect. Slowly, he undressed himself, throwing his clothing over the bed and not caring where they landed. He didn't have the will or the energy to stand up so he remained half-naked on his cold bed.  
  
"I can't go on like this," he continued, aware that his self monologue was disturbing. However, it helped him sort out his emotions. "I want to figure it out, but I'm too tired to think. Will you help me, love? Will you help me fall asleep?"  
  
Knowing that no answer would come to him, he turned over and lay on his stomach before burying his face in a pillow. At least he could breathe in a barely there scent that would help him fall asleep. He groaned in satisfaction.  
  
Just as his senses detached themselves from the conscious world, Trowa's eyes shot open from the loud and shrill ring of his vid-phone. He groaned and then buried his face deeper into the pillows. He could barely undress himself, he noted, and it was obvious enough that he wouldn't have the strength or the patience to take the call. Whoever it was had better call him back in the morning.  
  
"Leave a message." His own brusque voice came from the answering machine. After a long, annoying beep, sounds of deep breathing began.   
  
"Uh," the whispered voice coming from the machine said. "Are... are you... there?"  
  
Trowa's eyes shot open as soon as he recognized the voice. Despite the protests of his body, he discovered a surge of energy that lifted him off the bed to take the call. It was a few seconds before he could adjust his sleepy eyes to the light to see who was on the other end of the vid-phone.  
  
"Quatre?" he asked in surprise.  
  
The other man was looking down at his knees, which were pulled up to his chest. From what Trowa could gather, he was huddling in a dark room somewhere because only his pale face and thin wrists were visible.   
  
"Uh huh," Quatre said without looking up. His face was glowing in the reflected light coming from the phone.  
  
"Is there any reason why you called me?" Trowa questioned. As rude as it sounded, it was the only way to find out. He was surprised Quatre would call him, of all people. He didn't even recognize Trowa during their last encounter. Come to think of it, Trowa did not remember giving him his number.  
  
When Trowa heard no answer, he tried a different approach. It had been a few weeks since the others had brought him to the hospital. He doubted that Quatre would have been released that quickly, considering his condition when they had last seen each other.  
  
"Where are you?" Trowa asked again. He waited patiently for the answer just in case Quatre wanted to tell him. At the same time, he observed the man at the other end of the line and was barely able to stop himself from tracing the outline of his form on the screen. He was enigmatic no matter who, where, or how he was. He was hypnotizing all the same.  
  
Quatre finally looked up at the screen and Trowa couldn't help but notice his sunken eyes and parched lips slowly opening to say something.  
  
"I'm sorry," was all Quatre said.  
  
Trowa stayed silent and observed the man before his eyes. It seemed as if his love was trying to get through to him, as if he had heard Trowa's earlier monologue. It was eerie but explicable. Quatre had seemed sorry for many different things lately.   
  
"I..."  
  
Trowa blinked in surprise when he was cut-short. The screen became blurry before he noticed someone pull Quatre out. He appeared to have positioned himself under a bed somewhere. He sounded frantic as a large pair of arms held him down.  
  
"The doctor would be disappointed if you weren't resting. Please try to get some sleep sir," he heard in the background. Quatre was still at the hospital as expected. He seemed to be uncooperative. Trowa heard screams of protest and a lot of struggling.  
  
It was not long after when a different face came into view. Trowa directed his narrowed eyes at the stranger.  
  
"I'm sorry he disturbed you sir," a kind looking nurse greeted him.   
  
"He did no such thing," Trowa responded, wishing that he had a tracking device next to him. In any case, he wanted to find out where they were. "Who are you and where are you located?" he asked before the phone went dead.  
  
Trowa cursed a few times, paced his room and ended up kicking the side of his bed in frustration. He wasn't going to get any decent sleep that night.  
  
Three hours later, despite the protests of the hospital personnel who insisted that visiting hours were over, Trowa was in the waiting room with his friends in tow. Duo and Wufei were still in their pajamas while Heero was in his boxers, holding a jacket over himself. It was evident that they had been sleeping soundly not too long ago. Wufei couldn't even stop from yawning.  
  
"What's taking them?" Trowa asked in the silence. Although his companions were too sleepy to complain, he was irritated enough that he was wide awake. He walked back and forth while scratching the back of his head.  
  
"Dunno," Duo's lethargic voice supplied.  
  
Trowa was growing impatient. It was not too long ago when they arrived at the hospital, but for him, the wait was long enough. It felt like there was a conspiracy was going on around him and he hated how much it made him paranoid. Whoever was in charge certainly did not want him to get any rest.  
  
"We have a phone call for a Mr. Barton."  
  
Trowa stopped, looking up at whoever had interrupted his thoughts. There was no point in refusing the call so he nodded and obediently followed the person out the door. When he reached the receiver, Une's serious expression immediately came into view.   
  
"Zero-three, new mission orders."  
  
He wanted to groan or tell her to leave it off for the next day, but suggestions in themselves were unacceptable. Une looked serious and he knew better than to defy her orders when she was in one of those moods.  
  
"News has reached me that you're already in the intended destination. You might as well take blood samples while you're there. Equipment has already been sent to your location."  
  
"Blood samples from Quatre?" he asked, running a hand through his bang. His hair landed in one big clump as he looked down. The job was easy enough, but the fact of the matter remained. It was still three am. He was not coherent enough to even hold the conversation. "What happened with the first test we had run on him? Were they not sufficient?"  
  
"Zero-one has made his claim of this Quatre's identity," Une responded. "And I managed to retrieve a hair sample from him the first time he had been brought to my office. The results of my test say it is him, but a strand of hair is not enough to prove anything. We need to reconcile the opposing results. If we find any inconsistencies, it would be easy to presume that there had been some kind of foul play involved."  
  
Trowa nodded in understanding.  
  
"Inconsistencies in the tests would connect this case to the case of the recovered body," he concluded.  
  
"That is correct, zero-three. I am pleased to know that your brain is functioning despite the hour of day."  
  
Trowa made no move to respond. He was interrupted from his musings when someone handed him the promised equipment. He acknowledged the person who had brought in the items he would need. He was pleased that they worked fast. The sooner he got to see Quatre, the better.  
  
"I don't want him in here. Take him out," Trowa said. He didn't look up at the screen to notice Une's reaction but instead surveyed the equipment before him. The tone of his voice said that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.   
  
"I have already arranged for it," Une replied. "He is to be taken to our facilities, but not before I get those blood samples. They will be taken to our lab in the south as soon as you have them ready."  
  
"Don't we have the proper equipment to test it at headquarters?" he inquired, looking up to meet her gaze.  
  
"No. It will take time just like the hair sample took time."  
  
Trowa nodded, finally understanding her urgency. A mission was a mission even when he needed to get some shut eye. It would have to wait until later.  
  
===  
  
What seemed like a simple mission was turning into a nightmare. Trowa was appalled by the way his comrades acted. Wufei was sitting on the floor nursing a bruised chin while Duo was wailing like a little child.  
  
"He hit me Trowa!" Duo kept on screaming. Disbelief was written all over his face. "I'm not going in there. If he could knock the great Heero Yuy out then what are the chances of me making it out alive?"  
  
It was not going well at all. Trowa gently nudged the unconscious form on the floor. Indeed, the great Heero Yuy was out cold, caused by the hands of the supposedly ill and frail man. Quatre had done it so fast he didn't even notice the attack until Heero's head hit the floor. They'd had to scramble to drag their fallen comrade from harm's way.  
  
All four of them were outside Quatre's seemingly harmless door. Although it looked peaceful outside, the inside said otherwise. The last time he peeked in, he spotted Quatre seated on the bed with a curtain rod in hand. It was not doubt that the hard metal was the same rod that had taken Heero down. That alone wouldn't have been so bad, but the fact that it was coupled with a wild look in Quatre's eyes made the situation worse than it already was.  
  
"He was calm when he called me," Trowa assured the remaining two. They didn't look like they believed a word he said.  
  
"He hit me with a urinal... a metal urinal," Wufei elaborated on Duo's point and then said no more.  
  
"We need to get in there," Trowa said, taking the lead. Otherwise, they would never have finished. "We're not leaving until we get those blood samples and certainly not until we transfer him to our facilities."  
  
Duo nodded and Wufei acknowledged him. Still, they knew that Quatre's erratic behavior was going to be a problem. Feeble as he was, both the doors and windows were not an option, especially without the proper equipment for infiltration. It was a shame they were doing it during such an ungodly hour. None of them could think straight. Trowa had to admit that he was tired as well, both in mind and in body.   
  
"If Duo and I can get you in, can you handle the rest?" Wufei suddenly interrupted his thoughts. He seemed to be contemplating their next move as he sat against the wall massaging his head. Trowa had no doubt that he was getting a bad headache just thinking about it.  
  
"I'm not sure," Trowa answered truthfully. He doubted that Quatre would trust him easily when his memories were muddled enough as it was. One moment, Quatre would confide in him and the next moment, he cringed away from him like a stranger. It confused him and it hurt every time.  
  
"The mind may forget but the body may not," Wufei said, his head still downcast but his words always full of wisdom. They were very important words from a very irritated man. Therefore, Trowa thought it necessary to put them to good use.  
  
"I will trust you on that statement," he said and then sat down next to Wufei so that they were lined up against the wall. The unconscious Heero was next to the door with Duo holding an ice pack over his injured head. Heero looked unusually peaceful as his head was rested on Duo's lap. From afar, they looked like injured and defeated soldiers in a war zone.  
  
"I've got an idea Wu," Duo said while trying to steady Heero's head so that it didn't fall over. "But Trowa's going to have to come in through the vents."  
  
Wufei nodded. "That's about as far as we can get him," he agreed.  
  
"Then we need the blueprints of the building."  
  
===  
  
He was always used to wide open spaces and although he was known for being adaptable to any situation, Trowa still groaned as he crawled through the dark and dusty vents of the hospital building. He was fortunate enough to fit into the too-tight space but still had to face an unpleasant travel toward his intended destination. If not for Quatre's sake, he would have already borne a hole through the thin aluminum containing him.  
  
"Turn left on the next fork," Wufei's voice resounded from his earpiece. At least Une had the foresight to send the minimal equipment necessary.  
  
"Got that," Trowa answered, choosing to be less formal in this situation. After all, it felt like an informal mission. He was dressed haphazardly and his pants were threatening to fall off his hips without his belt on. If they moved any further, they were going to come off completely and he had no way of putting them back up.  
  
"...a bad situation getting worse," he muttered.  
  
"What was that Tro?"  
  
"Nothing Duo," he answered and continued on as he was directed.   
  
What seemed like hours later, Trowa successfully made it directly above the vent of Quatre's room and frowned through the slits separating him from the other. The real Quatre or not, this guy knew what he was doing. From where he was positioned, it was obvious that the man had specifically positioned himself where he was the least vulnerable. He could maneuver himself any which way if the enemy came anywhere within two feet of him. In addition, the rod he was holding, although light, was dangerous enough if it hit the right part of the body. It also served to cover the two feet distance of vulnerability.  
  
"Why do you have to be so difficult at a time like this?" Trowa silently complained.  
  
"Don't tell me he's got everything figured out in there," Wufei growled.  
  
"Practically everything," Trowa whispered into his mouthpiece.  
  
"Damn, I never imagined he'd use that whole strategizing thing on us." Duo's voice came in through his earpiece. "You're directly under his bed, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah," Trowa answered. "But there's no way I'm jumping down. He'll skewer me with that rod before I make it all the way down."  
  
Silence answered him as he considered his next move. Suddenly, Quatre's hold on the rod faltered as if he was slowly loosing consciousness. Trowa's eyebrow raised and a curious look of discovery took over his face.  
  
"He won't be able to keep this up for too long," Trowa whispered to his comrades. "I just have to be quiet to make it behind him. From there I think I'll be able to restrain him."  
  
"We'll be leaving it up to you then," Wufei said his affirmative.  
  
With as much care as he could, Trowa oiled the screws of the vent and slowly took them out one by one. He crossed his fingers as he held the discarded door of the vent with one hand and held on for balance with his other hand. He waited a few minutes until Quatre's arm faltered again and then crossed his fingers as he jumped down, thankfully landing right behind Quatre.   
  
"Gotcha," he whispered into Quatre's right ear before enfolding his arms completely around the other's body.  
  
Quatre's response was to struggle against him and scream. He didn't scream for help nor did he ask for freedom. Instead, he bellowed garbled sounds that made no sense. It made Trowa wish he'd brought earplugs. If he continued long enough, Trowa was sure that he'd have to let go sooner or later.  
  
"Should we come in? Are you still alive?" Duo frantically screamed from the other side of the door.  
  
"Yes I am and no don't come in," Trowa commanded although it felt like he was loosing the battle. He had to get Quatre to calm down in order to take the blood samples and since tranquilizers were not an option, he had to think of something else. He did want his comrades' help but did not want to startle Quatre any further.  
  
Recalling Wufei's earlier words, he closed his eyes in silent prayer to anyone listening in hopes that his plan would work. He left one arm wrapped around Quatre's thin body and used the other hand to cover Quatre's eyes. His captive stiffened before struggling again.  
  
"I used to do this to my husband," Trowa whispered, ignoring Quatre's screams and useless struggles. "Sometimes, when he comes home at night, he can't relax because he bears the weight of the world on his shoulders. He never said so, but I know. He handled too many responsibilities and it was never fair."  
  
Quatre whimpered but continued to struggle. In spite of this, Trowa held on tight and continued his narration.  
  
"But this was the one thing that could calm him. I would hold him from behind, one arm around his wait and another covering his eyes and I'd whisper anything into his ears. It didn't matter if it was the day's events or any random phrases I remembered from a book. It made him let go."  
  
Quatre started to give in and it made Trowa smile a little. Still, it was far from over and Trowa knew that it was not enough.  
  
"So I beg you," Trowa continued with all the sincerity he could convey in his voice. "I beg you to let go for now. I know you're tired and you don't trust anyone. You remember none of us but I promise you that I won't hurt you. That's the last thing I would want to do."  
  
"What is it you really want me to do?" Quatre interrupted him all of a sudden. Trowa almost jumped at the sound of the hoarse voice. He had given up his struggles for the time being.  
  
"I want you to stop thinking about what your next move will be. I know you have something planned, but now is not the time for it. You need to rest."  
  
"You brought me to the hospital too early. Didn't I tell you that it wasn't time?"  
  
Trowa frowned. It appeared that although Quatre's mind was slowly deteriorating, he still remembered some of the most miniscule events that had happened earlier. He had to wonder what the man had planned. He was probably organizing a plan of action as they spoke.  
  
"That may be the case, but I had no choice in the matter," Trowa answered. "Your health comes before your wishes."  
  
"But the people here have done nothing to further my health. There is nothing more that can be done for me," Quatre reasoned and it made perfect sense. Trowa felt that he was not up for a verbal debate, especially when he had never once won an argument against Quatre in the past.  
  
"My concern knows no bounds," Trowa proclaimed with barely controlled patience. "You need to accomplish things as much as I need to fulfill my tasks. Please give me control of the situation just this once. Trust that I will let you do what you want afterwards."  
  
"Of course," Quatre finally surrendered. "...since you asked so nicely. Besides, I'm in a much too comfortable position to resist your request. You were right in assuming that I'd be completely helpless in this position."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
No sooner than he said it did Quatre lose consciousness, whether because of exhaustion or concession, Trowa could not tell. He sighed and proceeded to withdraw from his position. He was reluctant to leave Quatre alone, but there were still things that needed to be done. He looked at Quatre one last time, kissed him on the forehead and then welcomed his comrades inside.  
  
"Always a smart-ass, isn't he?" Duo greeted from the opened door. He was grinning from ear to ear. It made Trowa realize that Quatre had so easily manipulated him without realizing it. He groaned.  
  
"Get in here and take his blood before I do to you what he did to Heero."  
  
Frightened, Duo immediately did as he was ordered but continued to snicker from where he was positioned.  
  
"The body does sometimes remember," Wufei said as he walked in. "But the mind sure can come up with the most entertaining comebacks."  
  
Wufei managed to dodge before Trowa struck his head. Left with nothing more to do and two laughing comrades, Trowa retrieved Heero's still unconscious body and placed it on an unoccupied bed. At least Heero was being agreeable with him if only just for the time being.  
  



	19. Part Nineteen

**Memento [Part Nineteen]**

"...apraxia, impaired motor functioning; agnosia, inability to recognize and name objects and persons; impairment in memory, planning and abstract reasoning ..."

Trowa nodded, half-heartedly listening to what the Preventer medical team had to say. He lacked sleep and was sure that his friends were just as tired. In fact, Duo was already dozing off despite the dirty looks some of the doctors were sending his way. Heero was attentive although Trowa was sure that he was sleeping with his eyes open. There were really only two people listening to the lecture.

"This can wait until later," Wufei growled, his eyes red from lack of sleep. "I can assure you that I heard every word of your explanation and I will prove it to you later by reciting it flawlessly after you've given us some time to rest."

"I second that," Duo groaned from his position with his eyes still closed. "I didn't hear a word any of you said."

Trowa nodded, choosing not to voice his agreement while Heero continued to glare at the appropriate direction. A hushed snore would come out of him every now and then.

"Very well," one of the doctors finally agreed. "But since at least one of you listened, I don't see the need for us to meet again. Get some sleep."

Duo was the first out the door, disappearing before any of them could schedule a meeting to discuss the case. Wufei had been less hurried as he excused himself, leaving Trowa to haul Heero out on his own. Trowa would have protested the responsibility, but he was too tired to do so and surrendered to his fate instead.

Ten minutes of pulling an unconscious Heero later, Trowa found himself in front of Quatre's assigned room. He did not know what compelled him to visit when he was half-coherent, but he was there anyway. He paused before knocking on the door and then walked in the room with apprehension, imagining horrible scenarios in his head that only made him more fearful of visiting their newest patient. Trowa kept his eyes to the floor knowing that it would be the only way to avoid seeing Quatre helpless and restrained. He'd proven himself a handful before they had brought him to their facilities and it was with reluctance that he accepted their medical team's decision to restrain him.

That was the reason why he was surprised when he found the bed empty. He had conjured up in his imagination an image of Quatre laying prostate on the bed with hands and ankles pinned down. True, the restraints were still on the bed, but the person who was supposed to be on the receiving end was nowhere near it.

"It was rather rude of you to have me tied up," a voice sounded from somewhere to his left.

Trowa looked up to the source of the voice and found the missing patient. Quatre was comfortably seated on the windowsill just enough to hold his petite frame. He had one foot flat on the sill with his knees bent all the way to his chest. His other foot was flat against the wall adjacent to the one he was currently leaning on. Although it was a precarious position, he looked quite at ease with the way he was seated.

"I thought you were going to give me free reign to do what I wanted after I've had some rest," he added while looking out the window.

Trowa walked toward him, studying the reflection on the window. Quatre's face looked contemplative, not mad at him for forgetting their agreement. Still, the image before him looked broken, not more than physically he supposed. Quatre's golden hair was limp against a face that no longer held much luster. His arms were thin, too thin against a body that was equally as gaunt. The shirt he was wearing would have probably fallen off his shoulders if not for the fact that he'd pulled it forward to prevent just that. Drawstring bottoms that were barely hanging off his bony hips completed the ensemble.

"I was warned that you would be unmanageable if you were free," Trowa answered.

"I'm free now. Do you find me unmanageable?" Quatre asked, turning to face him. Although the rest of his body was clearly falling apart, his eyes were as daring as he'd remembered them. He looked ready for a verbal argument if he was given the chance.

"I suppose not," Trowa said before making himself comfortable on the abandoned bed. "But I should be more worried about how you'd managed to get yourself out of the bed in the first place."

Quatre held up his wrists, presenting him with the most logical answer to his inquiries. His wrists were thin, probably thin enough to slide through the restraints, but it was not that simple. It never was.

"You talked your way out of it," he concluded, remembering just how well Quatre could convince people. He could so easily seduce them to his side of an issue. He had always been a cunning politician that way, certainly not someone to trifle with.

"I could barely get myself out of bed," Quatre admitted. "My body's betraying me faster than I could keep up. There was naturally only one way to survive the battle," he explained, pointing a finger to his head. "The mind is quite a powerful tool."

"So you've demonstrated," Trowa responded, leaning back with his palm flat on the bed. He moved his fingers against the soft material beneath them and fought the urge to bury his nose into the mattress that had once held Quatre. He was sure that his essence still lingered there. He supposed it was inevitable for him to admit that he had an affinity for this Quatre, the novel entity that fascinated him just as much as the first.

"You came here expecting something," Quatre said as he turned his head back to look outside the window. Only the endless rows of green trees greeted his eyes, the inevitable result of headquarters being hidden somewhere far from urbanized civilization. It was probably a nuisance for someone who was forced to be imprisoned within walls that were intended to keep him safe. Trowa knew the arrangement was unfair, but Quatre did not seem to protest. In fact, he almost looked resigned to his fate.

"I expect a lot of things when I seek you out," Trowa replied, relinquishing his hold on the sheets. Tempted any further and he would have hidden himself within the layers. He hadn't really had much sleep and the idea of being surrounded by Quatre's scent was very inviting.

"I imagine I've disappointed you again."

The hint of regret in the other's voice was subtle, but it was still deafening to Trowa's ears.

"It can't be helped if you're forgetting things. I imagine that it's difficult to fight your body's will."

"But I could at least help you ease your worries. The lady who came to visit me earlier told me about a case you were working on. It was not hard to figure out what she was trying to say."

Trowa immediately reached forward when he noticed Quatre stand up and attempt to walk to the table not too far away from him. He assisted Quatre as the other half-limped to the desk and was surprised when he saw the materials scattered on top of the table. Quatre must have been busy before he came in to visit.

"I opened up my suitcases and found all these. I can't tell you what they are since I don't recognize any of them, but it should at least give you some clues to help your case."

Trowa nodded slowly, surprised that Quatre had managed to pack several important items before he'd been hauled to the hospital. He had to ask Duo if he was aware of any of the items. He'd packed the bags himself halfway through and didn't remember placing anything in there but several sets of clothing.

There were several hand-drawn maps on the table, most of them looking ordinary but many of them unfamiliar. He was aware that Quatre had drawn maps to get around places ever since his memory for directions started deteriorating, but he'd never thought about using them as clues.

"This would be useful," Trowa murmured while looking through the materials scattered on the desk. There were maps, doctor's prescriptions, and a few blueprints of machines Quatre had probably worked on at his last job.

"Aren't you going to ask me anything?" Quatre asked softly as he continued to look through the papers before him. The question forced him to look up. Quatre's question may have been sensible, but it was still unexpected. He paused for a moment before answering.

"No," he said, sounding like he was testing the feel of the answer on his tongue. "I'm sure you've been questioned enough before I arrived." He did, in fact, feel the need to ask several questions, but he was sympathetic enough not to. Quatre had probably been questioned endlessly by Une earlier. It was only proper that he would not be forced to go through the same interrogation, especially when he did not remember much.

"I'm not adverse to answering questions if they came from you," Quatre purred.

Trowa's response was to tense. The statement was said in a way that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. There was just something in the tone of voice that seemed like he was being baited. He looked up to find Quatre's nonchalant expression, but he could swear that he heard the taunting challenge behind it.

"Then tell me why you keep on apologizing," he said, finding his request very appropriate at a time when the other seemed willing to answer. In addition, he was curious as to why Quatre constantly asked for pardon as if he had done some serious transgression.

"I don't know," Quatre said and then pulled out a chair to sit. Any more standing and he would have fallen over. His legs did not look sturdy enough to support him. "It seems like I owe you an apology, a very big one."

Trowa continued to examine the clues on top of the desk, satisfied with the answer for the time being. At least he was sure that Une did not reveal anything to Quatre when she had visited him earlier. Otherwise, he would have been more worried than he already was. 

For some reason, he was no longer at ease with Quatre. He could not get himself to trust the man currently in the room with him because Quatre was now a relative being, an arbitrary entity that took on many personalities. The man next to him was neither the reserved engineer he had been acquainted with nor the husband he had been searching for. This Quatre felt like someone else.

"How are you feeling?" Trowa asked if only to change the subject to one he was comfortable with. How strange Quatre was behaving was a closed case for the time being. Perhaps he was just too tired to even contemplate the possibilities.

"Confused," Quatre answered, settling his hand on top of the table. His bony arms looked like they could so easily be snapped in half, but Trowa knew the power behind the frail appearance.

"That was the last answer I was expecting," he said, keeping aloof so as not to be suspected. He decided to take a seat as well. The least he could do was listen to what the other had to say and perhaps discover a few things he could not do so by simply observing him. 

"I don't remember much," Quatre started thoughtfully. "It gets frustrating. I end up depressed most days. At the same time I feel agitated, like I want to do something. That's when I get irritable and start throwing things. It helps, you know. It helps a little bit before I fall into another depression. After that, all that remains is a feeling of indifference as if nothing really matters anymore."

Quatre let out a hollow laughter, one that made Trowa wince inwardly. Truly, there were things so much worse than physical pain. The state of confusion was aggravating and he had no doubt that it could drive anyone insane. He was experiencing it himself and he could very well attest to its difficulty. 

For the time being, he allowed himself to sympathize with Quatre's situation. That was, until Quatre smirked his way, looking almost sinister, like he knew something he did not want to tell.

"I find you strange," Trowa admitted despite feeling wary of his companion. He tried to remember snippets of the lecture the Preventer medical team had forced him to listen to earlier. There was something specific mentioned that did not make much sense. "You should be loosing your ability to reason," he proclaimed, sure that it was one of the symptoms. "There's no way you should be able to do so and yet it's as if you're almost daring me to challenge you."

Quatre laughed again, this time with a hint of amusement. He looked at Trowa as if he had just said something absurd, something that was completely impossible.

"My ability to reason is the last thing I'm letting go of," Quatre said, serious all of a sudden. "I still have a lot of work to do and until I finish my ultimate task, I won't stop." The second statement was left unanswered.

The sudden declaration made Trowa frown. He recognized the steel resolve in the other's voice. It almost made him proclaim that he had caught Quatre red-handed. He wanted to ask the other what his plans were and how exactly he was going to execute them. He was deadly curious but stopped himself from asking any more until his suspicions were confirmed. 

"I should gather all this evidence and leave you to rest," Trowa said hesitantly before picking up the papers on the table. After stuffing them unceremoniously into a bag, he made his way to the door, intending to leave as quickly as possible.

"You should get some rest yourself," Quatre said while smiling sweetly at him. "I doubt that you'd gotten any sleep after having to deal with me."

"Sure," Trowa said, hurried. "But," he paused before closing the door. "Before I go, I have to ask you... Do you know who I am?"

"I don't recognize you," Quatre replied honestly. "My mind can't supply a name or a memory, but my intuition becomes useful in situations such as these."

Hearing that bit of information, Trowa left Quatre in peace and hurried to drop off the collected items at the nearest conference room. He knew he would be spending the rest of his waking hours there.

As he looked for an empty room to occupy, he was distracted with doubts about the Quatre they had brought to their facilities. For some reason, he was wary of their ward. He did not know what exactly triggered the strange response. He presumed that it must have been Quatre's teasing voice. He knew his husband to be a very cunning man and whatever he had planned, nobody could predict. That made him a dangerous enemy and Trowa hoped that he was not one.

He slapped the back of his neck a couple of times and tried to convince himself again and again that Quatre was not the culprit behind his own disappearance. It couldn't be. He had no reason to do so.

===

A good sleep and a long shower did Trowa a world of good. After opening his eyes to the quickly setting sun, he had managed to grab a snack and make himself presentable before looking for his comrades. It was not until he literally bumped into Hilde in the corridors that he found out that the others had already set up a meeting place without him. Hilde had chastised him about sleeping longer than Duo, but had graciously directed him to where the others were located.

Trowa thanked her and promised that he would not keep Duo away for too long. He knew why she was there late at night and felt a bit jealous that Duo had someone to wait for him when they were finished. He had his suspicions that Hilde, like them, was spending her nights and days in the Preventer headquarters until they made a breakthrough in the case. It was difficult, but it was a burden they were willing to bear.

"Tro, nice of you to join us," Duo said cheerfully as he opened the door to the conference room. "We should punish you for waking up too late, but since you brought us very lovely materials, I convinced these two to let it go."

Trowa blinked, remembering the evidence he had left in the room earlier. It was apparent that his friends had started looking through them. In fact, Wufei was already in the process of dissecting every single map on the desk while Heero flipped through several blueprints.

"I see you've found them," he said, addressing the two who were far too serious after a supposedly restful break.

"They wanted to get on it, but I told them that we should wait for you," Duo whispered to him. "Care to tell me where you got these?"

"Quatre," he answered and then took up the seat opposite Duo's. "I checked up on him before going to bed."

"Aww, you didn't take me with you!" Duo complained.

Before Trowa could explain just why he could not drag Duo half-asleep with him, a knock reverberated from the closed door. Wufei, being the closest to it, opened the door to find two people on the other end. One of them, Trowa was sure, none of them wanted to see standing up.

"Greetings," Une said. "I have a guest for you. I am sure you will accommodate him quite nicely."

Heero stood up, the sound of his chair hitting loudly against Wufei's empty seat indicating his disapproval of Une's companion.

"He should be resting," he said with concern.

"It would be in your best interest if he was here zero-one. Otherwise, you will never figure out your case." Their superior was as strict as always and with the use of their codenames, Trowa knew that her word was final. He looked at her companion and frowned as he realized that he was leaning against the doorway. It was obvious that he could not hold himself up properly. It was a wonder how he made it through the long walk from his bedroom to the conference room.

Since protesting Une's decision was not an option, Trowa rose from his seat to guide their guest to take a seat with them. Quatre looked like he was going to topple over any time soon.

"He can't even hold himself upright!" Heero said the obvious. Duo could only watch the events unfold before him. Trowa knew that he too disapproved of Une's decision, but he was not willing to voice out his opinions on the matter. It had been a while since he had seen Quatre. Trowa was sure that the sight of his best friend alone prompted Duo to keep from agreeing with Heero. 

He looked at Duo, trying to evaluate his mood. Duo nodded briefly at him, but looked guilty for agreeing that Quatre should be there with them. It was with utter delight and an ounce of guilt that he helped Trowa seat their friend.

"I've missed you," Duo whispered to Quatre's ear as they sat him down at the head of the table, the only spot no one had dared occupy since Quatre's disappearance.

Quatre did not react and instead nodded to plainly accept the statement. Trowa was sure that he did not remember who Duo was, but he was courteous enough to accept the heart-felt admission. In the background, Heero and Une continued their banter.

"None of you have the skill to figure this out no matter how hard you try," Une said, earning a very dangerous glare from Wufei. True, Quatre was skilled when it came to such matters but they all had a decent amount of experience to handle such situations. They were a very tactical team with the accuracy only a few were willing to contend with.

"That is not the point," Heero said, holding himself back from screaming.

"One last time before my body gives up on me," Quatre suddenly spoke up all of a sudden. Whatever else Heero wanted to say died on his lips. "It was my request," he started again. "I don't remember much anymore or who any of you are, but I could at least help you figure out what you can't. That is probably the only thing I could do for you right now."

Trowa looked away from all of them, feeling a bit of sorrow at the meaning behind those words. Quatre knew he wouldn't last much longer and it was nothing short of devastating to hear it from his own lips. At the same time, he was still wary that this Quatre was planning to deceive them.

"...only if it is not an inconvenience for you," Wufei was the first to speak up. "We will only allow you to help us if you feel that it is not an obligation."

"Of course it's not an inconvenience," Quatre answered. "I'm sure he can confirm that." He pointed at Heero which caused all the attention in the room to be diverted to him.

Heero was frowning, but he sighed when Quatre cocked his head to the side as if to dare him to say otherwise. Trowa watched as his headstrong friend sat back down on his chair and ignored his superior. His combative mood seemed to die down instantly and his resolve to keep Quatre safe in his room was shattered.

"Whatever you say Quatre," Heero said while rubbing his forehead.

All it took was the simple statement from Heero for Une to leave them alone. However, Trowa had no choice but to raise an elegant brow at the statement. Quatre may have not known who any of them were but he did know how to manipulate them. On top of that, the annoying homing device when it came to Heero was still clearly there.

"Wow Heero, you're obviously whipped!" Duo finally spoke up as he sat back down on his chair. He had a self-satisfied smirk on his face. 

Heero did not answer but instead sent Duo a warning look.

"First things first," Quatre spoke up again, indicating that they were about to begin. Revealed in his open palm was a pad of sticky notes and a pen. "I want you to tell me your names," he said, getting ready to write the information down. Trowa had to admit that Quatre had the amazing ability to cope with his handicap.

"Duo!" Duo spoke out excitedly and then raised his hand. Quatre seemed to be amused as he wrote the name on a sticky note and stuck it on Duo's shirt with just as much enthusiasm.

Trowa sighed, looking down at his folded hands. He was completely puzzled. He did not know what it was he should be feeling. While he loved Quatre dearly, both his husband and his engineer identity, Trowa could not help but be wary of him. Quatre was clever, too clever sometimes that it made figuring him out all the more complicated. Sometimes he wished that none of the mess ever happened.

"Trowa," he said his name next without looking up.

"I like that name," Quatre murmured while writing it down.

"You gave it to me," Trowa simply said before excusing himself to get a cup of tea - with honey of course.


	20. Part Twenty

**Memento (Part Twenty)**

Awkward silences were never a problem for him, mostly because silence was a soothing escape from the rigors of everyday life. When in a room with another person, he believed that it was not necessary to start idle conversations because long-winded talks usually lead nowhere. Speaking was a gift many recklessly used. That was his belief, the same belief that kept him silent; the same belief that made people believe that he was either mute or just plain rude.

"You took him away from me," he said after having considered saying anything at all. Multitudes of emotions were assaulting him, many words fighting their way out of his mouth, but this had been the only successful phrase to have made it. The only reason it did make it was because it was not thoroughly considered beforehand. Otherwise, he would never have said it at all.

"You say it like I did it myself."

Trowa closed his eyes, knowing very well that he was accusing a person who might have been innocent. Still, something about the charming, petite woman sitting in front of him put him on edge. It was intuition, he presumed. That and a detailed flowchart Quatre himself had constructed before giving way to exhaustion.

"He led me to you," Trowa said, making sure to keep everything short and simple. His opening statement already gave away too much of an advantage to his suspect.

He knew that he should have been the last person questioning her, but he was there by Quatre's request. It was hard to keep a straight head because being rational was the last concern in his mind. Lack of sleep combined with years of worry did that to him.

"I'd suspect as much since we're very good friends."

"Dr. Lara Barton," he said while examining the file on his hand. There was no need to go around in circles. If he wanted to find out something, he knew he had to go directly to the point. The case had gone on long enough and all parties involved were drained and very close to defeat.

"Yes, that's my name."

"Dr. Barton, if you don't already know, Trowa Barton had only one sister. Her name was Lea. He had no other surviving female relatives aside from his niece."

"That's a lie! He is also my brother," was the indignant shout from his current suspect as she stood up. She attempted to grab the file off his hands but was unsuccessful. Trowa was fast enough to block her before sending her an icy glare that commanded that she sit down at once. The woman reluctantly complied.

"You're a lie too, you know," Lara said haughtily after having settled down on her seat. She crossed her legs allowing her slip-on high heels to dangle on one elegant foot. Her positioning alone gave away the fact that the situation was unbearable for her. Trowa filed away the information for later use.

From what she was wearing, it could be gathered that she was arrested during work hours. Her white coat was still atop her shoulders. A doctor, he did remember her mentioning that and her records proved that she was in fact legitimate.

"That name of yours was stolen," his current suspect taunted him while sending him a look that said that she could easily provoke him if need be.

Trowa did not answer, refusing to react to the derision. There were very few people who knew the origins of his name so she was already a sound suspect.

"You'll never be Trowa. You'll always be nameless."

"You worked as a mechanic for the Barton family, am I correct?" Trowa asked instead. If she wanted to have a discussion about his choice of names then they had a lot of time to talk about it later. There were more important issues to discuss at the moment.

"I won't answer your questions."

Trowa looked at her, his eyes not giving away what he was thinking. It was not after a few moments of scrutinizing that he realized that she looked familiar. In fact, it may have been those familiarities that lead him to dislike her the first time around. Although he had been with her and Quatre on a few occasions, he had never really tried to figure out what was off about her.

"You were there," he said, imagining the same woman in a mechanic's uniform attending to Heavyarm's weaponry system. "You saw it happen."

"You killed my brother!" she snarled, but kept in control as she tucked her arms securely before her. Whatever rage she must have been feeling was radiating off her body in tremors. She could have probably broken the table between them in half if Trowa's warning look did not stop her from doing so.

Her emotions were genuine, Trowa could tell, but there still remained the fact that the real Trowa had only one sister and that sister died together with the destruction of many others from L3. All that remained of Trowa's original family was Marimeia who was under Une's care. Trowa's only conclusion was that the woman was delusional.

"Who do you work with or who do you work for?"

It was all business, but Trowa was sure that he too would fall apart when all was said and done. It was no longer a matter of finding Quatre. It was now only a matter of putting all their minds at peace.

"I suppose it would no longer serve me any purpose to hide certain facts from you," she answered, smiling all of a sudden. The malicious upward turn of her lips could have easily identified her as guilty, but Trowa tried his best to takes things in perspective. He was, after all, still a professional.

"What is the name of your organization?"

"We have no name. The only thing we have in common is a hatred for you."

Trowa was not surprised and his lack of reaction said so. He merely shifted his feet while continuing to level his steady gaze at her. He'd already known he was the target and from what he heard so far, he already knew why.

"It was obvious from the way you planted surveillance devices all over my residence and place of work," he said, not letting his suspect know how he felt about it. He had been outraged, especially at the invasion of his more private moments with his husband, but he was not about to give that information away.

He took the moment of silence to sit down on the chair opposite Lara's before continuing to look at the file on his hands. He looked to be inspecting it, but in truth, he was merely taking his time just in case the woman before him would decide to blurt out all the necessary information, not that she wasn't already.

"I won't answer until you ask me a question," she said, seeming to have picked up on his methods. Trowa had no choice but to ask.

"The torso and the butchered cadaver where all the tapes were stowed," Trowa said, taking a different route for the time being. "Whose body is it?"

It was one of the most important questions and Trowa had no doubt that all his friends on the other side of the smoky mirror were waiting with anticipation. He himself was curious, but he'd finally accepted that both were Quatre no matter how illogical it sounded. Somehow, the conclusion that was supposed to help him sleep at night became the burden that kept him awake at ungodly hours.

"Wouldn't you want to know?" was the sassy answer. Trowa could almost imagine Duo's rage while watching the exchange. His suspicions were confirmed when the mirror hiding them shook. He was surprised it didn't already break with the way it was shaking.

"Dr. Winner, the engineer you brought to us for protection, what is he to you?"

"Would you break my neck if I said we were lovers?"

Trowa looked up from the files and froze, unprepared for her answer. It was hard to admit, but that was another reason why he disliked her. It was her whom Quatre had recognized when he'd found him playing the piano during one of his eerier episodes. The claim she just made was something he could not accept no matter what, but it was something on a more personal level that did not belong to that time and place.

"How did you meet?" Trowa followed up his question, unable to break away from the part of him that made him jealous.

"We were roommates. I was finishing my internship at a local hospital and he was in the process of completing his thesis for his doctorate. We became fast friends."

Her statements could have been true. Trowa checked the file before him and found the documents to confirm her statement. He did, in fact, find evidences of her enrollment, her degree, and receipts from the apartment she had rented together with a Mr. Winner. Still, something was suspicious. Quatre's apartment from just after he was assigned to the Preventers' care had burned down taking with it all traces of who he was.

"Facts such as those could be easily fabricated," Trowa said, hoping that she's give him more clues.

"He did acknowledge me before he did you."

She was taunting him again, he was sure, but it was best to ignore those unless he wanted to help her succeed in breaking him. He was the interrogator, not her.

"According to the institution he supposedly attended, his doctorate was awarded in a year's time," he said. "The process usually takes five."

"You'll have to ask the institution that. I don't know their policies."

"You should know them very well. You were part of the institution three years before he was recorded to have attended. You worked in the engineering department for a month before deciding two months later to go into medicine."

He had to thank Quatre later. After all, he had been the person to piece all the information together. They'd stayed up long hours, but it was Quatre who assembled the pieces for 30 hours straight before his head finally dropped on the cold table. It was amazing to say the least. According to the doctors in the Preventer facilities, Quatre was pretty close to loosing his thinking and organizing capabilities by then.

"What relevance does my choice in career change have to do with him?"

"It will make you a likelier suspect based on your answers," Trowa answered, closing one folder and opening up another. They'd promised Quatre that they would do the rest and Trowa intended to fulfill that promise.

"He might have just been lucky to come up with a project that was amazing and that was finished quickly that they decided to award him with the degree earlier than expected."

"On the contrary, Ms. Barton," Trowa said, scanning another file as he referred to the flowchart Quatre had organized not long ago. "Our records indicate that he had been friends with one Marvin Whitfield, creator of the Plow Master 500X."

"And you're telling me this why?"

"Quatre had amassed knowledge from the aforementioned man. Based on previous questionings of Mr. Whitfield, he had met Quatre before the time your records indicated you were rooming with each other and yet he talked profoundly of you. Mr. Whitfield tells us that based on their conversations, it was apparent that the two of you knew each other very well. This brings me back to the question of how you really met. Would you care to reconstruct the flawed account of how you met Quatre?"

Trowa, not being used the line of work he was currently thrust into, hoped that he was questioning her correctly. Duo and Wufei had given him pointers beforehand, the most important of which was to go with his gut instinct. Both had refrained from letting Heero explain his methods, claiming excessive violence whenever he was given the duty of interrogating.

"I already told you how we met. What makes you think I'm lying and that man is not?"

"...Because that man is one of your flaws. Without him in the picture, we wouldn't have found anything suspicious about you. Finding nothing suspicious about you would mean that this Quatre is different from the one who disappeared three years ago."

"How are you sure that this is the one and not the collection of body parts stored in your freezer?"

"They are both him," Trowa said, knowing very well what the reaction would be. Having said what he truly thought to the assembly of Preventers not more than a few hours ago, he knew she would think that it was absurd. He knew he would sound crazy just because his conclusion was impossible.

Instead, Lara's smile was unreadable. Whether she was amused or impressed, Trowa could not tell.

"How did you come up with such a crazy inference?" she asked, surprisingly without the same ridicule he'd experienced from others.

"I know him well," Trowa answered. By that point, it was all a matter of intuition. He'd felt devastated when the remains had been found and he continued to feel the same way every time he thought about it. At the same time, he always found a connection with the other Quatre. It was as if he'd known the other for so long that it was impossible not to be able to identify him no matter how much the change or how long the separation. Quatre was more than just his husband. He was his life and if there was anyone who would be able to identify him, it was him.

"Then where did the body come from?"

"I believe it is you who have the answers," Trowa said, hoping that she would just say it. Coming up with a way to trick her into admission was more tedious than it was difficult. It also required him to converse with her more than he was willing to. Perhaps that was the reason he hated the job.

"I don't have all the answers," she responded, seeming to have calmed down. Trowa took note of the fact that his response to her question about Quatre's identity was the turning point of her mood.

"You are acquainted with a Dr. Marion, am I right?"

"Yes."

"He is the same doctor who had been found guilty of providing Quatre with harmful medications. He was also the person who had approached us with news of Quatre's condition, claiming that he was merely a puppet being controlled by an unknown entity. Would you be that entity?"

"If you haven't already noticed, that man is crazy."

Trowa paused, considering what she said. Dr. Marion was, in fact, unwell according to their mental health tests. He'd been found to be a paranoid schizophrenic who believed that he was doing it for the good of his colony. Now all that remained was a question of whether she too was crazy or not. Asking her outright was out of the question, so Trowa had no choice but to take a different route.

"You specialize with diseases of the elderly, is that correct?"

"Yes. Didn't I mention this already?"

Nodding, Trowa checked the newest file on the table before him. She did mention it long ago, but he had been too jealous back then to listen to anything she was saying. He berated himself for being too preoccupied with such childishness that he'd missed honing in on an important clue.

"You specifically work with the elderly suffering from Alzheimer's disease, am I correct?"

"Yes I do."

"And you do research as well."

"That is correct."

"Dementia is closely related to Alzheimer's," he said slowly, just now realizing her connection to the scheme.

Suddenly, Quatre's strange symptoms started to make sense. He knew that he could have figured it out if he paid more attention earlier. She'd given him hints, even with the comment about having to read the news more often. What she said sounded insignificant back then, but now that Trowa thought about it, it was said right before the news of Quatre's body being discovered was all over the news. Dr. Marion had given him hints as well before blatantly admitting what he'd done. Even the agricultural engineer with the strange plowing machine was a clue. They were all set down before him and all he had to do was piece them together. He felt like hitting his head against the table for being so careless.

When Trowa looked up, he noticed Lara rest her elbows on the table before dropping her chin on her cupped hands. She smiled very mischievously as if signaling that Trowa finally figured out part of the puzzle.

"Why, yes it is," she said, condescending. "I'll tell you the rest when you figure out a bit more."

Trowa, a bit shaken by what he'd discovered so far, no longer wanted to go any further. Asking more questions would surely lead to more significant answers from her, but he felt tired. All he wanted to do was check up on Quatre to see how he was doing.

"Your plan, did it achieve its purpose?" he asked, still in a halfway-conscious, halfway-trance state.

"Our plan, you mean," Lara answered, sitting back on her chair and crossing her arms once again. "Of course it did. You're broken aren't you?"

Trowa could no longer force out a glare, so he had no other choice but to stare blankly at her.

"Are you done?" Trowa followed up the answer immediately. Stopping himself from loosing his calm was proving to be difficult. In this case, he was very sure that Wufei would have been more suitable to question her.

"You destroyed L3 together with our hopes of a future. Together with Heavyarms, you took away our only means of rebirth. We will only be done after we have destroyed you completely. Your death is not enough. Only your eternal misery is befitting of your crime."

But to involve Quatre, it was just not right. That was what he kept repeating to himself over and over again inside his head.

"You didn't only attack one person in the process," he said. "You involved others who had nothing to do with your grudge against me."

"In order to destroy one, you must sacrifice another," she responded. "This is just like war. Thousands are sacrificed for the sake of millions of others. You, being a soldier, should understand this concept very well."

"War is never justified," Trowa said automatically.

"But you were one of those who instigated the war," she said, picking imaginary lint off her clothing. "Is it not hypocrisy on your part?"

"I said justified," Trowa made clear. "There is a difference between justified and necessary. Just because something is necessary does not mean that it is justified."

"So you're saying..."

"I am only one man," Trowa interrupted. "What you'd done to Quatre may have been necessary for your purposes, but it is not justified. Attacking just me would have been sufficient. This was not war. It was hatred that had gone too far."

"We stand by our decision," she insisted. "Nothing should be spared for the sake of your ruin."

Trowa did not answer, still wrought with disbelief.

"Imagine that," she said as if it was such as shame. "All this time, he suffered because of you."

Not a minute before Trowa attempted a response did the door open. With it burst in three very infuriated comrades ready to haul him out of there. It was cruel. It was unbearable. He began to wonder why Quatre instructed him to personally question her.

"That is it," he heard Duo's voice from somewhere beside him. "This is going to have to be continued at another time. And you, evil lady, I'll see you in hell."

Trowa did not resist as he was lead out of the room. He could almost feel liberation with every step he took, but was rudely interrupted from his escape when Lara talked again.

"We couldn't have done it alone, you know," she said, her voice a bit louder in order for her voice to reach his foggy mind. "How easy do you think it is to get your hands on Quatre Winner?"

Trowa's mind reeled with possibilities. That was before he shrugged off his friends' hold on him and walked towards where his feet would take him.


	21. Part Twenty One

**Memento (Part Twenty-One)**

It takes him about seven and a half minutes to walk to Quatre's room. While half of the time is spent rehashing their suspect's last words, the other half is spent wondering how Quatre was doing. His mind was filled with thoughts and speculations that it became hard to hear anyone calling. All other noises became a blur, a background noise that meant nothing compared to his mind's current preoccupation.

"Trowa!"

Trowa walked briskly, determined on checking Quatre's condition. Ever since he exited the interrogation room, he'd had a strange, almost nauseating feeling of foreboding. It was as if he knew something was going to happen or was currently happening and whatever it was had to be something unpleasant.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Trowa stopped mid-step only then realizing that his attention was being requested. His stiffened shoulders refused to relax.

"I'm not sure," he said knowing that Heero's hand on his shoulder would not let go unless he knew for sure that everything was fine. The only problem was that he didn't know when that time would come. "I just have a bad feeling," he elaborated.

"Then we should hurry," Heero responded, mercifully letting go of him. It didn't mean, however, that he was left alone. Like a dog to his master, Heero followed him. It was just as well. Trowa welcomed the presence of his most trusted friends. He had no doubt that Duo and Wufei were following close behind.

Trowa made it to Quatre's room within the next few steps, intent on discounting the strange feeling bothering him. When he opened the door, he found the bed empty. It had been abandoned with the sheets in disarray.

"Looks like you were right," Duo voiced just before Trowa left the room in haste. An alternate destination was already in mind. Where that was exactly, no one needed to know because he knew that they would follow.

Trowa walked as fast as he could to an area he was vaguely familiar with. A few minutes of walking resulted in a discovery of a place he'd yet to explore. Walking there was like walking blind because he did not know where to go or where to turn, but somehow, his intuition guided him to an unmarked door in the far corner of an inconspicuous hall. He entered expecting to find what he was looking for. It was unfortunate that he found something else instead.

"Get him out of there," Trowa commanded rather than requested. His suspicions had been right. When he found that Quatre was no longer in his room, his first response was to look for him outside the facilities but commonsense said otherwise. Quatre had been weak to begin with. After having been exhausted long enough, he couldn't even lift his body off his own chair.

"I said get him out of there," Trowa repeated with no intention of repeating himself a third time. He was more than infuriated to find Quatre at an unmarked room attached to not just any contraption. He was attached to the ZERO system.

"But we have orders to keep him on it unless his internal systems become erratic," was the reply he received. It was, unfortunately, not the answer he wanted.

"Get off that chair," he said, irritated as he pulled the frightened young man off his seat and shoved him away from the machines. "How do you turn this off?"

No answer came. The person on the next chair over remained silent as she stubbornly sat and ignored him. It was evident that she was obediently following orders, orders of which she probably did not know the reason for.

"Duo, please get her off that thing," Trowa said, having no patience to deal with them. He was going to disconnect Quatre from the system with or without their help.

Trowa looked at the adjacent room through the glass separating him from his target. They were located on the second level while Quatre's prone form was on what seemed to be the floor below. Trowa could not figure out how to access the room on the other side of the glass. His mind refused to work with him.

"Hold on," Wufei said just as he was about to configure the machine in front of him. "One wrong move and you'll be giving up his mind to the system."

In the meantime, Duo was busy shoving both strangers out the door before locking it. They would surely report the incident to their superior, whoever that was, but there was no way they were leaving until Quatre was safe and out of there.

"I've never seen this before," Heero said after having examined the many controls attached to the fairly large processing unit. If there was anyone who was familiar with the system, then it was him. He'd been the person to utilize the system for the longest period of time.

"Anyone else have a clue?" Duo asked, making it obvious that he too did not know how to operate it. "I don't like how those vital signs are looking."

Moving his attention away from the apparatus, Trowa looked up to where Duo was pointing to find a heart monitor, a blood pressure monitor, and a brain wave monitor. The waves were moving so unsteadily that it was probably not a good sign.

"Unless his internal systems are erratic," Trowa echoed what the young man had said earlier. "I don't know what they consider erratic." He stood up trying to control himself from smashing the equipment or any random wall. He did not know what effect it would have on the system after all.

"Whatever that guy meant, this is probably it," Duo said.

The monitors started emitting beeping sounds, causing all four of them to stare in alarm at the brain waves that were dying down together with the increase of Quatre's blood pressure and heart rate. None of them were doctors but it was easy to guess what was happening.

"This is not good," Wufei said, claiming the seat that the woman had vacated. "If his brain waves get any weaker, he'll be giving up his mind to the system. We have to act now."

Unable to come up with a solution, Trowa paced the room, every once in a while looking down at Quatre's body being supported only by restraints and a visual helmet that kept his head up. If the ZERO system had been a physical entity then he might have already beat it to the ground.

"There's no other choice then," Heero said suddenly.

Surprised but unable to react, Trowa watched as Heero lifted a chair and smashed the glass separating them from Quatre. In a move that many had claimed him crazy for, Heero jumped down to the lower level, broken glass and all, and grabbed the extra helmet that lay next to the empty seat next to Quatre. Strapping himself in, he gave Trowa a nod before putting the head device on.

"We're going to have to get him out of this manually," he said as his hands began to move swiftly over the keypad just within his hand's reach. His knowledge of the system's use was undeniable, but there was still a question of whether his intervention would be enough.

The three remaining could do nothing but stare. The ZERO system was and always would be something they would not dare operate. After their various experiences with it, fear usually overcame any desires to use it. Fortunately, Heero was not only crazy; he was also quite capable. He'd fought under its influence before so he had their full support. Still, if there was anyone who could handle the ZERO system in its purest form, then it was Quatre. The only problem was that Quatre was currently not in the state to deal with it.

"That's Heero for you, crazy as they come," Duo muttered, having no other means of helping.

It was different to be the one watching. Feeling useless was inevitable. Trowa was no exception. If anything, he felt the deepest regret for not having any power to help. Guilt had been eating at him lately, making him realize the amounts of mental torment Quatre must have underwent with his constant feelings of remorse.

"His brain is shielded against intruders," Heero hissed which woke Trowa up from his musings.

"What do you mean?" Trowa questioned. No good news seemed to be coming lately.

"It's protecting him against the system for the time being, but it's also stopping me from getting him out."

"Is there any way to communicate with him through the system?" Wufei inquired. He placed a hand on his chin, seeming to be in the process of formulating a solution.

"I'm not sure. His signal is weak, but his defenses are strong. I'm not sure if I'll be able to get through. Do you have any specific instructions?"

"Divert the system's attention elsewhere and try to draw him out using a memory. Any memory would be fine as long as it's something he recognizes. That's how he'll figure out you're not an enemy."

"Affirmative," Heero responded. Wufei nodded in response although the action could not be seen.

Heero did not speak for the next ten minutes as the rest of them watched with anticipation. When his hand movements over the keyboard stopped, Trowa unconsciously crossed his fingers.

"I can't get the system to back down," Heero said. Frustration was evident in his voice despite his calm control over the keys. "I'm not used to this kind of operation," he admitted.

"That's because you don't use your brain Heero," Duo said, also quite bothered by the fact that they couldn't get Quatre out. "All you ever do is force your way into everything."

"Same to you, idiot," Heero responded. His hands continued to move over the keys to make another attempt.

What seemed to be an argument, Trowa recognized as support. It might have been a strange way of communicating, but it always seemed to work. He hoped it would be enough this time.

Time stretched further before Heero stopped his movements and took out his head gear.

"I'm sorry Trowa," was all he said.

"You were locked out by the system and by Quatre as well," Wufei concluded with his eyes fixated on Quatre's vital signs. Trowa noticed that it was elevated but stable, a little better than complete disaster at least.

"What now?" Duo asked, staying as far away from the equipment as possible. If they didn't know how to work it then the next best alternative was not to break it.

Silence reigned for quite some time as they each contemplated several ways to solve their current dilemma. It was only a matter of time when the system would be successful in overpowering a quickly weakening Quatre.

Just when they began to lose all hope, the doors behind them were forcefully opened. Trowa, worried and furious beyond belief, stood up ready to take down anyone who would dare interrupt.

"Step aside boys."

However, he was surprised and confused as he came face to face with a familiar blonde, one who he hadn't seen in years. Her features hadn't changed one bit and her posture still radiated sophistication.

"Dorothy?" he said, noticing that Relena and Une were right behind her.

"There's no time for discussion. Heero Yuy, get off that thing," she instructed, jumping down the high distance. Heero was there to catch her just in time. "Watch and see how the big boys do it," she said, before promptly linking herself to the system.

Heero shrugged, looking up at the group that was starting to gather.

"What is the meaning of this?" Trowa said, ignoring Dorothy for the time being and focusing on the newcomers. He was sure that Dorothy had everything under control. She was more experienced with the type of approach than any of them standing around.

"She was the only one I could think to call. Relena was with her. I brought her along," Une answered while Relena rushed to get a view of what was going on in the level below. Heero was positioned to catch her if she ever lost her footing.

"Is that Quatre?" Relena asked, nearly horrified at what she saw. It was assumed that she still new nothing about the case. Despite being their correspondent with the media, she had no other news than what she usually read about in the newspapers.

"Yes," Trowa answered. He still believed that the person down there was the same Quatre whether the investigation said so or not. "Now tell me what I'd like to know."

Une remained silent and it was only Duo and Wufei's combined powers of staring that forced her to speak. Trowa crossed his arms while waiting to hear the explanation.

"There was no other way," she said.

"Try again."

"The ZERO was responsible for bringing back your memories when you had the same dilemma years ago."

"I was on it for less than ten minutes. How long has he been there?"

"Forty minutes."

"His mind has built up a defense against the system. That takes more than an hour to build. Try again."

"Eight hours."

Trowa punched the wall closest to him. Using the system in battle was nothing compared to being directly connected to it for long periods of time. The needles that Trowa only now noticed coming off the head gear looked grotesque as it pierced its victim's head. The patches of skin surrounding it were red and swollen. At least the manual override system which Dorothy was now using did not come with the same apparatus. Trowa imagined the worst but refused to alert his comrades to his observation. He himself couldn't stomach it already.

"Holy..." he heard Duo whisper as his friend watched Dorothy battle the system. "It won't be easy."

"This was not the best course of action," Trowa said, choosing to stare down at the floor where neither Quatre nor Une was in sight.

"I know that now," Une answered in her ever-calm voice. "I wanted nothing more than to help him regain what he'd lost."

"It doesn't matter if he forgets. What matters is that he's not suffering the way he is now."

Trowa looked back up at his superior with no other words to convey how he felt about the matter. His eyes would do the talking. They usually did when he refused to say anything.

"Trowa, I think she got him," Heero said from below, breaking his concentration.

Tearing his eyes away from Une, Trowa turned his attention to the scene below. Quatre was starting to shake, a world of difference from the immobile body he witnessed not too long ago. The monitors indicated that all his systems were stabilizing and that his brain waves were becoming more prominent. Satisfied with what he was seeing, Trowa jumped down to the lower level where he joined Heero.

"She doesn't know," he told Heero, tilting his head toward where Relena was standing. "I suspect that the press was not too pleasant with her these past months."

Heero nodded but could not stop from frowning.

"The needles," he whispered.

"I know. I'll be fine Heero. Go to her."

"You're not fine, not at all," Heero said, refusing to budge. Trowa could not evade the concern radiating off his friend.

"No. I'm not," he answered. The rest of his message was said despondently. "I would rather have stabbed myself several times over."

Unprepared for Heero's reaction, Trowa nearly stumbled backwards. In an eerie display that was almost too surreal, Heero, big stiff that he was, hugged him.

"You're not going to get anywhere with the way things are going," he whispered into Trowa's ear. The embrace was apparently a cover-up. "Get everyone into one room and I'll lock us all in. Don't return Quatre to his room. Take him with you wherever you go. Don't take your eyes off him. I have the key card to the evidence room that I'll be slipping into your pocket. Go there and stay as long as you want. I'll make sure that none of us get out unless you open the door from the outside."

"You mean..."

"Yes. There has got to be some kind of involvement from the inside. Like the lady said, Quatre was always much too heavily guarded to be that easily abducted. Find it Trowa. Find the answer for all of us."

"Where did you get the..."

"There's no time. He's almost out of it."

Pulling back from Heero, Trowa looked behind him to find that Quatre was indeed breathing heavily and that Dorothy was already taking out her head gear.

"Next time, a little warning beforehand would be appreciated," Dorothy said, raising herself from her seat. She looked at Trowa next, beckoning him towards the person sitting next to her. "It's your turn," she said.

Trowa nodded in thanks, finding no other words to convey how he felt. Dorothy seemed to understand as she smiled sincerely and moved aside, allowing him space. Trowa knelt down in front of Quatre, ready to take out the device attached to his head. Fumbling with the head gear, Trowa managed to push the release button and with that, the needles were withdrawn into the hood. When the device was removed completely, a frail, almost lifeless head fell forward right onto Trowa's awaiting shoulder.

"I'm sorry," was the hoarse whisper that accompanied Quatre's fall. That was all Trowa heard before Quatre lost all consciousness.

"I want everyone here and anyone involved in this case in a conference room immediately," he said, one hand caressing the back of Quatre's neck, his thumb moving in soothing circles. The other hand removed the restraints that held him to the chair. His burden was light but warm. He could hear the soft, almost distant sounds of even breathing and closed his eyes. He was thankful if only for that one miracle. Hoping that Quatre would recover was another matter.

"Everyone will tell me everything they know," he continued as if he hadn't already requested the same once before. "No more hiding," he said with an almost defeated tone in his voice. "Everyone gather there. I'm taking him to his room."

Having successfully detached Quatre from the chair, he carried the unconscious man in his arms and looked at Heero and then at his two friends who were one level up. Wufei nodded at him and Duo shooed him off. They seemed to understand. Heero might have already told them beforehand.

"We'll take care of things around here," Duo said, grabbing Wufei by the arm and attaching himself to the other much to Wufei's dismay. "Wu and I will do a little research of our own," he continued with a wink.

Trowa did nothing else to acknowledge that he'd heard and merely walked out. He was sure they'd understand.

He reached Quatre's designated room without incidence before following Heero's advice and taking him with him instead. Walking towards where he knew the evidence room to be, Trowa laid Quatre out on one of the couches conveniently located in the room. The makeshift cot would do for the time being.

Smoothing messy hair out of Quatre's face, Trowa laid a gentle kiss on his forehead. That was when he remembered the puncture wounds. Thankfully, the first aid kits could be found everywhere and he'd secured one within no time. He was intent on tending to Quatre before anything else.

With shaking hands, he applied antiseptic to the wounds on Quatre's head.

"S... stop being sorry," he stuttered, being overcome with emotion. "Whatever it is, I'll always forgive you." No other words came out of his mouth as he continued to clean the wounds.

Finishing up, Trowa dropped another kiss, this time to Quatre's bony hand, before he left him alone to rest. Quatre's case needed finality. After three years, he was sure that they were all more than exhausted. By then, he couldn't even figure out what kept him going.


	22. Part Twenty Two

**Memento (Part Twenty-Two)**

When page after page of words yielded no significant findings, it was inevitable that his concentration would waver. Having spent the last several hours sifting through years of data, Trowa found himself quite bored. With another few stacks of papers to go through, he estimated to be out of there in a minimum of two weeks. The group of people he'd had locked up in a room must have felt the hours pass by too slowly.

Rubbing his forehead in and outward display of annoyance, Trowa stared again at the file before his hands. Nothing made sense when he wanted nothing more than to stop reading. It was best to take a break for the time being and make sure that the temporarily imprisoned members of the investigation team were not about to take down the three people in charge. He was afraid that only Wufei would last when their patience was tried. Duo could be very irritating when bored. Not to say that it was anything bad. Heero, on the other hand, was probably close to performing illicit acts of homicide.

"Heero," he spoke into his handheld radio. "Is everything under control? Over."

"It depends on how you define control, over," was the answer through the static and the noisy background that could only have been the sound of several annoyed people complaining.

"Can you keep them in there longer?"

"...As long as you want. I've smashed the keypad. There's no way to get out of here unless you access it from the outside, over," Heero responded.

"Thanks," Trowa said, putting the radio down. At least he could take comfort in the fact that he could take as long as he wanted without interruptions.

Trowa craned his neck backwards, hoping to relieve the crick in his neck. That was when he noticed Quatre still sleeping peacefully on the couch. Blinking, Trowa found it disturbing that he'd forgotten about Quatre's presence the moment he started looking through the mounds of files he'd discovered.

"Still asleep?" he asked out loud, hoping to stop himself from going insane. Although he'd been known for his silence, spending years around rather loud, boisterous people caused him to miss the constant commotion that usually surrounded him. "Not even an inch, huh?" Trowa continued, having noticed that Quatre was in the same position he'd left him in. It seemed that his unconscious ward was not going to show any signs of life anytime soon.

Disappointed that he did not receive even a slight movement in response, Trowa turned back to the mess he'd made on the large conference table before him. Somehow, his organizational skills had abandoned him not more than a few hours into his work.

"You could at least show me a sign," Trowa muttered, leaving his chair in exchange for a more comfortable perch atop the table. Sitting cross-legged on the large expanse of mahogany, Trowa placed both elbows on his knees and dropped his cheeks into awaiting palms. He sighed, staring at the blank projection screen at the other end of the room. Perhaps he should watch a few videos instead. It was easy work and did not demand the same attention reading through paperwork did.

Satisfied that he'd found something productive to occupy himself with, Trowa crawled to the section where a box of tapes was in. The box held years of surveillance found within Quatre's supposed body, but maybe he could figure out which were more significant based on the labels attached to them. Finding something rather naughty might just be another plus side to that. At least there was nobody else watching.

By the time Trowa made it to the box, he was smirking like he'd found his most favorite treat. Sure, he may have been slightly perverted, but that may just have been the result of being celibate for the past three plus years.

All of a sudden, Quatre shifted as if having sensed the presence of a potential pervert when he was so vulnerably unconscious. His body moved to curl up on his side with his hand coming to rest automatically on his stomach.

"What, now you react?" Trowa said, having been interrupted from his hunt. It made him wonder if Quatre was simply feigning sleep. "You could at least tell me what to watch then," he said, making sure to stare at Quatre a bit longer just in case the other responded. Strangely enough, the hand on Quatre's stomach moved so that his palm was now almost flat against the couch. His fingers seemed to have formed the sign for three.

Coincidence or not, Trowa found the non-exchange amusing and did as Quatre had supposedly indicated, looking through the third column of tapes and picking the third from the top. That should have been good enough. At least he had somewhere to start. It wouldn't have been any better had he watched the tapes chronologically anyway. All he was hoping for was not a scene of himself brushing his teeth. That would have been too mundane and insignificant.

Unfortunately, having placed the tape into the mechanism, Trowa ended up watching a scene of himself on a sunny morning reading a newspaper. That was when he decided that he was the most boring person he knew. Dissatisfied, he picked the third tape from the bottom. It was labeled 'Quatre finds out'.

"About what?" Trowa murmured, depositing the tape into the mechanism and waiting as the static cleared, giving way to the event that was recorded almost two and a half years back.

The screen revealed a dark backdrop, so dark that he could not decipher what was going on. The same blankness went on for about five more minutes before Trowa decided that the tape was not worth watching. Not within an inch away from pressing the stop button, Trowa noticed a flicker of movement within the dark. He blinked, noticing himself in the scene in what seemed to be the dining area of their former home.

With rapt attention, Trowa watched as brightness suddenly flooded the scene. The light switch must have been turned on. The sudden presence of illumination revealed Trowa's seemingly preoccupied form. He was indeed sitting on a chair, staring off into some unknown corner as if the sudden emergence of light did not affect him.

"It's late." The sound byte was not worthy of the owner's voice but it was nevertheless a memorable sound. Within moments, Quatre seemed to materialize from behind the serious man in the scene. He looked healthy and glowing, far different from the person resting on the couch. Quatre's drawstring pajama bottoms were hung so low, Trowa could have sworn that it was meant to tease him. His shirt, which was being lifted by a wayward hand attempting to rub at his stomach was revealing a little too much. Too bad Trowa was being such a grump back then.

"I know," Trowa, dressed in pajamas, answered. Whatever was occupying him then may have been grave if he refused to look at Quatre.

"Why aren't you in bed?" Quatre asked as he lifted a hand to run down Trowa's neck in a soothing gesture.

"I was thinking."

Abandoning his position behind Trowa, Quatre hopped up to the table and positioned himself to sit directly opposite Trowa. With his height advantage atop the table, he stared down at Trowa, placing each foot on top of the arm rests of the chair to prevent escape.

"Tell me what's wrong?" Quatre suggested, leaning down so that each hand hooked itself to the back of Trowa's neck, leaving his thumbs free enough to rest gently on cheeks forever frozen with no expression.

"I'm worried about tomorrow," Trowa answered, looking up at Quatre. The angle of the camera was bad but workable so that he noticed himself with the same look of nonchalance despite his concern.

"I do it all the time," Quatre answered frowning a bit as he moved his hands forward to massage the back of Trowa's neck. "The speeches, they're all the same. It's nothing but a formality."

"It's a dangerous formality," Trowa said automatically, choosing to look somewhere within the vicinity of Quatre's chest instead. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep on just watching you every time, not knowing what the outcome will be. I always know that somebody somewhere is aiming." He'd imagined everything from guns to poisonous darts.

Quatre sighed, combing his fingers through Trowa's hair before holding it back so that Trowa's face was not obscured by his hair. His other hand remained hooked on to the back of Trowa's neck. Leaning further down, he placed his forehead directly against Trowa's own and then closed his eyes.

Trowa found it fascinating to watch a scene he was familiar with, especially when he was seeing it from a third person perspective.

"I'm sorry Trowa," Quatre said. It was a phrase so often heard that Trowa couldn't help but grow an adverse reaction to it. "I was born into this life and I'll die living it," he said, moving to deposit his head on Trowa's shoulder.

Trowa said nothing, merely sat there as still as a statue, as unresponsive as always. Trowa, seeing himself as he was then, could not help but shake his head in disbelief. Somehow, all those comments about him being nothing but a brick wall came to mind. It made him wonder how Quatre managed to stand his seeming detachment.

Sighing at having watched himself act so cold, Trowa noticed Quatre's face, which happened to be directly facing the camera, contort into one of concentration. Quatre's eyes narrowed having noticed the surveillance device but did not alert the still somber Trowa to his discovery.

"Hmm?" Trowa said, watching on the screen as Quatre frowned. Alas, that was what the title of the tape meant. That exact moment was when Quatre discovered that they were being watched. Trowa, now himself aware of that fact, frowned as well.

"We should head on back to bed," Quatre voiced, his visage staring icily at the intrusion from the other side of the screen.

Trowa watched as Quatre jumped off the table, pulled him up, and turned off the lights. The pitter-patter of footsteps went on for a few more moments before there was silence. What followed was static, a sign that there was nothing more to see. Of course, what happed after that was something he clearly remembered. Mind-blowing wasn't even the word for how Quatre consoled him right after.

"Why Quatre, you exhibitionist," Trowa scolded the still unconscious man lying only a few feet away. "You wanted to give them a good show?" he continued his teasing although he felt scandalized. Despite his perverted tendencies, he was still reserved about such private matters. Whatever happened next was for nobody but them.

Then, suddenly hit with realization, Trowa slapped a hand hard on his forehead. If Noin, Sally, or anyone else, most especially Une, watched the particularly explicit tapes then he would be mortified, not that the thought didn't embarrass him enough already. For a moment, he almost felt his cheeks burn, but that never did happen when he sensed the presence of someone else behind him.

"I suppose they don't keep you under lock and key," he said, not facing the person who'd successfully sneaked up behind him. He may have been too distracted to notice, but it was still not an excuse for him to let his guard down.

"There was nobody watching me. It was easy to sneak out."

"Don't touch him," Trowa warned, leaving his position on the table to stand guard before Quatre. He didn't need to look at who the intruder was. He already knew.

"Shouldn't you be glad to see me?"

"Not after what you've done, no."

Trowa grabbed a chair and deposited it on the space in front of Quatre before taking his seat. After all that had happened, it was easy to deduce that prevention was the key to success. Keeping all untrustworthy parties away from Quatre was the first step. The woman walking toward the table was certainly one of those not allowed near the slumbering figure.

"But I'm the only one who'll be able to tell you what really happened," was the smug reply. Lara, the one person Trowa had hoped to avoid, grabbed a chair and seated herself at a safe distance away but still opposite Trowa. "You've got a lot of dedication," she said.

Trowa did nothing but stare at her.

"But if there's anyone with more determination than you," she continued, crossing her legs in an attempt to find a more comfortable position. "It's the person behind you."

"I know," Trowa said, making sure that he would not fall for whatever trap she had prepared. Perhaps there was some merit to having her around. She may just tell him the whole story and that would help him in his quest. She could provide the shortcut he'd been desperately trying to find.

"So tell me, Trowa," she said, emphasizing the stolen name. "Why do you think he never told you that he knew?"

"He was trying to protect me," Trowa said automatically. It was the most obvious answer no matter how trite it sounded. As if seeking comfort, his hand unconsciously reached back, seeking the hand he knew was resting motionless on the makeshift cot.

"It's not that simple, Trowa," she said, presenting him with a short laugh that must have been meant to provoke him. "It was not to protect you. It was to give you what you wanted."

"What?" Trowa said. Not for the first time, he found himself confused. With each passing day brought riddles that he'd been finding harder and harder to solve.

"Try to figure it out yourself. Otherwise, his sacrifice would have had no meaning."

Trowa clenched his unoccupied fist, angry that some stranger was demoralizing him like she knew him better than he did his own self. However, he could find nothing to say to counter her so he remained silent.

"I'm rather sad to see him like this. He was a worthy opponent, you know."

"Am I to believe that you fought on common ground, that you had no advantages over him, that your fight was fair?" Trowa said bitterly. The way Quatre had ended up was far more dreadful that she probably ever looked. She was healthy. He was not. She must have cheated somehow.

"I must admit, I had all the resources while he had none."

"What exactly was the battle for?"

"It was a battle for his mind."

Trowa felt his eyes narrow into slits. Based on her answer, it sounded like the conflict had nothing to do with him. All this time, it had been confirmed that he was the target. She was being illogical. It was like she was trying to confuse him.

"...or rather, it was a battle for you within his mind," she continued, grabbing a file off the table and throwing it up into the air as if it were an unimportant piece of information that held no meaning. In a sense, it almost meant nothing compared to what she knew. Trowa could do nothing but watch with morbid interest.

"But, let's start where it all begins, shall we? Destroying someone requires that you find their weakness, the one thing that if taken away will throw them off balance. Well, let me tell you that it was difficult to find yours. Why, if I may ask, does Mr. Winner never wear his wedding ring on his finger?"

Trowa relinquished his hold on Quatre's hand as if now only realizing that he'd held on to it in the first place. It was one thing when the enemy knew your weakness, but it was another when they witnessed it so plainly.

"If they knew he had a spouse then his foes would attack the spouse. It's an underhanded method," Trowa answered, realizing what his own explanation meant as he said it.

"And that was the reason why he wore his ring in a chain held over his heart rather than publicly display it on his finger," she responded. "You, however, had the luxury of wearing yours, which brings me to the problem of finding that crutch of yours which didn't seem to exist. Your other half had so carefully hidden himself so that it didn't look like you had anything to do with him. It worked well for you, I suppose. His enemies never did get their hands on you, but then your enemies managed to get their hands all over him."

"You had no right to take him away from me," Trowa responded heatedly. If he was all they needed then they should have headed straight for him, not involve someone who did not deserve it.

"And taken you instead? Why Trowa, how selfish of you. If you were gone, then what would become of Quatre?" Lara said, leaning back on her chair and crossing her arms.

Trowa, realizing that he'd been caught in a dilemma, could not respond. She was smart, he had to admit. If she managed to force him into a dead end then he could imagine just how well she manipulated Quatre.

"We're going in circles, aren't we?" she said.

Trowa did not look at her and instead stared at the ground before him. They were, indeed, going in circles and he was the dog blindly following.

"You must be asking yourself why it would be so selfish of you when Quatre himself had so selfishly beaten you to it. Doubting him now, are we?"

Trowa refused to be manipulated, but it did not mean that her tactics weren't working. The cogwheels in his head moved so frantically that he imagined they would fall off their course and leave him dumb. He did not want to blame any of this on Quatre, but he was finding himself on the verge of doing so. That must have been the purpose of the constant repeat of the words 'I'm sorry.' This must have been the reason. Quatre knew that his disappearance would devastate him and yet he went ahead with it anyway.

"You... Whatever it is your organization is, you've done enough damage," Trowa said, admitting defeat. He felt helpless and extremely saddened but never regretful. He never had control over the matter. He couldn't have stopped something he didn't know was coming.

"I figured as much," Lara answered, picking herself off her seat and proceeding to look through the papers haphazardly scattered across the table. Trowa made no move to stop her.

"Why did you bring him back here?" Trowa said, ignoring the intruder in favor of running a hand down Quatre's bandaged head instead.

"What would hurt more, his physical absence or the absence of you from his mind? How would it feel to have the person you love forget about you? ...Although I shouldn't be asking that. I'm sure you're well aware of the answer to those questions. So tell me Trowa, who is it that is most selfish in this situation?"

Trowa stilled his movement, surprised that she had figured him out. Her hate for him must have been so strong that she managed to find out everything there was about him. She was right. Everything she'd said was right. All her assumptions, all her speculations, all her interpretations of him were so accurate that he knew he was dealing with somebody he could not take lightly.

"You're right. At some point within the last few months, I did prefer his dead body over the entity who knew nothing of me," Trowa said, glad that none of his friends were there to hear it. He was ashamed that he'd so carefully hidden that fact all this time. "I trusted him to keep at least the memory of me alive. I was disappointed that he couldn't do just that."

"It's the same selfishness that drove you to take over my brother's legacy," Lara said, although she was more composed this time around. She scattered numerous papers around, uncaring of the people who would have to pick them up and arrange them afterwards.

Trowa ignored her delusions for the time being. He still believed she had nothing to do with the Barton family. Nobody but Marimeia could have possibly confirmed her identity.

"As I said earlier, Trowa," she continued, momentarily dismissing the fact that Trowa still refused to acknowledge his wrongdoing against her family. "You're selfish."

She pointed to the person behind him and then spoke again. "He valiantly fought for you within his mind. If there was one memory he refused to forget, it was you."

Mortified that he did not realize it sooner, Trowa stood up abruptly before accidentally kicking his chair down and landing himself next to Quatre's unmoving body. He stared at her, disbelieving, unable to come up with anything to say. Quatre's warm breaths were so apparent on the back of his neck that he couldn't help but look behind him. His eyes forced him to look into slightly parted lips that released breaths of air, the truest sign of life from his vantage point.

"He..." Trowa said, unable to continue.

"We brought him to the Preventers to see how well he could find you. I was surprised that he gravitated toward you despite not knowing who you were."

Dismissing his uninvited guest, Trowa put a hand up to his face and broke down in tears. The relief he felt was so overwhelming that it could not be put into words. It was as if it only now occurred to him that Quatre was alive. It did not matter what circumstances had brought them to the situation they were in. All that mattered was that Quatre was here now, breathing against the back of his neck, radiating his body heat into Trowa's own.

"Quatre," Trowa kept on repeating, remembering the scene from the video he'd just witnessed not too long ago. Quatre had said it himself, only death would take him away from his public duties, the public duties Trowa had always detested. He killed himself entirely and somehow managed to return as somebody else. Again and again, Quatre had found him, relentlessly pulling him from a memory bank that no longer existed. It was the craziest stunt anyone could have ever pulled.

"You're such a fool," he scolded, scrambling clumsily off the ground before he deposited himself on the couch. His cheeks found their way to dull blonde hair that lost its luster long ago and his hands hung on to a bony back that exposed a barely protected spine and hard shoulder blades that were uncomfortable to the touch. Nevertheless, he continued to clutch Quatre's upper body against his heaving chest, against the frantic beating of his heart. Quatre was here with him now. That should have been all that ever mattered.


	23. Part Twenty Three

**Memento (Part Twenty-Three)**

Prying open the door short of tearing it down was proving to be difficult. When he'd been assured that all parties involved in Quatre's case were locked up in one room, Trowa imagined a simple lock on an inconspicuous door. Instead, he was greeted with the sight of a steel door whose keypad was intact but useless. He suspected that the device had been smashed from the inside so that it was now inoperable from where he stood. The only conclusion he could come up with was that Heero was in a rather violent mood.

Refusing to ram himself into the locked door, Trowa had called a maintenance team to break it open. In the end, a team of four personnel were required to break the door down with nothing less than a blow torch. Food and appropriate necessities had been prepared for what he knew would be a few irritable prisoners. He'd kept them confined for hours on end, so they were surely livid from unexpected imprisonment.

"Thanks," Trowa said as the maintenance crew arranged their materials and left.

He stood with his back to the open door, a little reluctant to go through with his questioning. He was tired from lack of sleep, emotionally exhausted, and so overwhelmed that he doubted he could process any more information. Still, there was something he had to do. After several moments of unmoving indecision, Trowa faced the now open door. Heero was the first person on his case.

"I told you not to leave him alone," Heero spoke with impatience, blocking his view of the people situated inside the room. With nothing but Heero's voice expressing outward irritation, Trowa suspected that the occupants of the room were more or less too tired to complain.

"Carrying him in here was not an option," Trowa replied calmly, staring at Heero instead of pushing him aside. He was in no mood for any arguments. "He needed a proper bed so I put him in one." Let it be said that he knew how to take care of Quatre on his own. Heero did not move as he entered the room.

The first thing Trowa noticed was Duo who was reclining, half-asleep on a very uncomfortable looking chair. The rest of his captives were seated more appropriately as they greedily consumed their meals. Hunger must have staved off their annoyance for the time being.

"I trust that he's in good hands," Heero spoke again after he moved to stand next to him. Heero made no attempts to get anything for himself.

"He needed medical assistance Heero," Trowa responded, facing his comrade as if to dare him to declare his decision erroneous. "What did you expect me to do? And before you ask - yes, it _is_ that bad."

Looking back at the group of people who were now nothing more than hungry spectators, Trowa blinked, surprised that all eyes were on him. There was no doubt that they heard his unintended proclamation. The pity they felt for him was delivered through sorrowful looks that did nothing but make him feel more exhausted than he already was. Pity, at that point in time, was the last thing he needed. He stared back at them casually.

"We should start now," Wufei's strong voice resounded from one corner of the room where he had situated himself. No food was before him, only an empty glass which he held with a shaky hand. "There's nothing left to do but tell Trowa what you've told us," he addressed the investigation team.

Silence filled the room because nobody wanted to start. Perhaps they felt sorry for Trowa, but he would have none of it. He had gathered them for a purpose and he was resolute not to leave until he was satisfied with their answers. Having no other choice but to take charge, Trowa stepped up to the table and spoke.

"Did you or did you not know of Quatre's intentions?" he started, not caring who would answer.

"We did from the very beginning." Une was the first to reply, saving everyone the trouble of answering him directly. Trowa, satisfied that somebody spoke up, turned to face her. "He was part, if not head, of the operation to infiltrate the organization suspected of targeting you," she clarified.

"Quatre isn't part of the Preventer organization," Trowa responded, eyes hard with accusation. His response was not meant to invalidate her statement, only to state a widely known fact. "He has his own job at his own company."

Still, Trowa was not oblivious. He was aware that Quatre took part in Preventer business occasionally. Quatre had considered it his second job. Trowa had always been vehemently against it because it put unnecessary strain and responsibility on his already overworked husband, but he never stopped Quatre. All of a sudden, it seemed like stopping him while he had the chance was a good idea.

"However, he still works with us," Une said. She returned his stare with one of her own, clearly showing him that she was not afraid. The crowd, captivated by the exchange, did nothing but watch. "You are aware of it, I'm sure. After all, he works as commander of your team during several peace conferences held throughout the year."

"I know," Trowa said, fighting the urge to rub at his eyes. Indeed, Quatre was commander of their team while acting as the representative of L4 and head of his company. If he wasn't arguing with politicians, he was organizing their positions as watchmen over those same politicians. If he wasn't talking business or giving a speech, he was busy watching their backs. Sometimes he was negotiating contracts and making sure Trowa had arrived home safely from an assignment all at the same time. The sound of it alone was already overwhelming.

"It was his decision," Une reiterated. "Therefore, the responsibility became his."

"You could have stopped him," Trowa accused. He knew he sounded like a child because for a moment, he was. Helplessness did that to him.

Une smirked at him knowingly. "You know as well as I do that Quatre Winner can and will use his impeccable speaking skills to get whatever he wants."

Trowa would have hit his head against a wall, but the inappropriateness of the act stopped him from doing so. He felt somewhat proud of Quatre for being great at what he did, but he also felt annoyed that he was as good as he was. It made life difficult for everyone else trying to deal with him. Sometimes you could never win.

"I never noticed he was doing this kind of work. Did anyone else?" Trowa said, directing his question at his three comrades.

"I would have tied him to a chair and put a gag over his mouth because that mouth of his is one hell of a tough opponent," Duo responded as he shook his head in disbelief. Quatre pulling off something that big without their knowledge was unbelievable.

"I was just as unaware," Wufei stated simply, foregoing the unnecessary use of words. The glass in his hand shook once before he finally put it down on the table.

Two answers down and one to go; it was too bad that the only person left was just as difficult as Quatre if not more so. The only difference was that Heero was infuriatingly vague when he gave answers. He was also too damn cautious when it came to Quatre.

"I didn't know," Heero said, causing three sets of eyes to stare at him. Duo and Wufei were giving him the most incredulous looks possible. Heero not knowing anything about what went on was almost absurd.

"Contrary to popular belief, Quatre doesn't tell me everything nor do I know the state of his being at any given moment," Heero clarified, staring back at Trowa as he said it. It was a challenge to question otherwise.

"He speaks the truth. None of you were aware of this operation," was the sudden defense. When Une said it, it sounded like absolute truth. It might have been her commanding voice echoing throughout the room that did the job, but it was most likely the fact that she knew more than any of them on the matter that gave her credibility. "The assignments given to you that took the longest time to complete served their purpose. You would have all been too busy to notice his activities."

"You mean those long surveillance assignments?" Duo said with a sour look on his face. 'Those long boring ones' was left out of the question. If anything, it was a bit too sadistic for his tastes.

"Some of them, yes. You do have to take into consideration that this operation had been going on for almost a year and a half before Quatre was abducted."

"How did he find out who they were and what their intentions were?" Trowa followed up. There were a few more questions he had in mind, but he fought the urge to ask each one without waiting for an answer.

"The ZERO system was a valuable aide."

Trowa froze even as the rest of his friends shook their heads in disapproval. They probably heard the news from her earlier and predicted that he was not going to be pleased with the news. He wasn't.

"The incident today was not the first time," Trowa stated rather than asked. All his awaiting questions were forgotten for the time being. He felt himself shake with barely restrained anger. Watching Quatre on the system a few hours back was enough of a nightmare. The sight of long, angry needles piercing Quatre's skull made him sick. Imagining that same scenario happening several times over was more torment than he could bear.

"He had utilized it several times and requested that he be connected to the system when his condition deemed it necessary as was done earlier today," Une added, confirming just what Trowa had been dreading.

If Une was sadistic then Quatre was masochistic. Several things Quatre did without his knowledge was unacceptable, but voluntarily putting himself through the system whilst knowing its ill-effects was unforgivable. Trowa wanted to walk out, wake Quatre up, and scold him for what he'd done, but it was both impossible and impractical. Quatre was out cold and the very quiet crowd that he'd gathered in the room was willing to tell him everything. It took every ounce of his self-control to continue to stand where he was and act as rationally as he could. The fact that he was livid did not need to be explicitly stated.

He stood stock still at the head of the table where Duo sat swinging around in his chair. Somehow, the carefree movement looked unnatural as if Duo was contemplating rather than fooling around. The squeaks indicating that the chair was protesting the action sounded almost too rhythmic to be reckless.

"I'd like to find out why I was the main target. Anyone can answer," Trowa said abruptly, moving on to the next topic. It was best not to dwell on the subject matter that made him forget everything else. Quatre and his use of the ZERO system would be dealt with later.

"Most of the residents of L3 seem to hold a grudge against you," Noin said, answering the question she seemed to know the most about.

Trowa turned to her, almost forgetting that there were other people aside from their superior able to give him answers. If Noin knew as well, then the rest of the group was probably part of the operation trying to uncover L3's wayward organization. They just happened to be labeled as the same team investigating Quatre's disappearance.

"Most of the citizens of L3 relied on Operation Meteor not because they held a grudge against the Earth but because they'd been influenced by the ruling Barton family. With the downfall of the Barton family, several fanatics of the pre-war era started to come out to form an organization aimed at, simply put, finding someone to blame."

Trowa nodded as he listened carefully. So concentrated was he on what Noin was trying to say that he almost yelped when he was unceremoniously shoved into a chair. A telltale braid whipped up in front of him to reveal that the guilty party was none other than Duo.

"Sit down Tro. You're going to need it," Duo said as he stretched his arms above his head. "Try to concentrate on the topic at hand, folks," he encouraged, cracking his neck before giving Trowa a back massage. The gesture was odd but comforting and did more than make half the people in the room blink. "Noin, as you were saying..."

"Yes, uh," Noin responded, shaking her head to get herself back on track. "The organization discovered a few leads and a few dead ends before finally landing on the mechanic who worked on and eventually piloted Heavyarms. But the first person they found was the direct des..."

"And that would be where Dr. Lara Barton comes in," Une interrupted, forcing Trowa to divert his attention to her. He noticed Noin's discomfort at being stopped but paid no heed to it. "The woman who had brought Quatre in claimed to be a descendant of the nearly extinct Barton family and pinpointed Trowa as the person who had taken Heavyarms. Since Heavyarms was the principal symbol of their glorious past, Trowa was considered the culprit, their primary nemesis."

"I couldn't have been that easy to find me," Trowa said, leaning back into his chair and secretly enjoying the dexterity of Duo's hands on his back. "It isn't easy to find any of us. Quatre made sure of that."

"That is true. Quatre had protected your identities as Gundam pilots very well, but her fanaticism and eagerness to get at you as the person who murdered her supposed brother was far too great. The research we found at her place of residence was more than thorough. It was complete."

"But you let her in here knowing full well who she was. She even had Quatre with her. I would like to find out why she was not accosted upon her arrival."

"We only knew her by codename and nothing more. Add to that the fact that she had willingly brought Quatre into our territory. It was enough of a threat. There was no telling what she would do with him. In addition, Quatre had looked so different that it was difficult to identify him. We needed the four of you to do that for us."

"You had no communication from Quatre after his abduction? It sounds like you didn't know what happened to him afterwards."

"We only received two communications from him, the very last one just a few months before his status had been changed from missing to deceased. He was able to send us valuable information but nothing more. We did not know of his condition or what he was planning to do."

"When did you successfully identify him?" Trowa continued, fairly sure that they knew long before he or any of his friends did.

"The first time you had requested an identity check on him," Sally, who up until then was silent, answered. Une nodded in her direction, encouraging her to go ahead and tell them.

"That's impossible. The results clearly stated that it was not him."

"It's quite easy to falsify documents when necessary," Sally said, pausing momentarily as Trowa frowned. "The reason why we kept the truth from you was because it still wasn't time. We needed more evidence to indict Ms. Lara Barton. If she knew that you were already aware of his identity, then she would have fled, bringing with her all the pieces of evidence we needed."

"He also said it... It wasn't time," Trowa murmured thoughtfully. It sounded like Quatre himself had predicted the turn of events, enough that he tried to control it. Back then, Quatre had refused to go to a hospital to get himself checked. He might have been waiting for them to find something.

"Did you find anything?" Trowa questioned, foregoing the urge to accuse them of keeping the news from him. Sometimes, the most rational course of action was the hardest to accept.

"We found evidences connecting Ms. Barton to the mother organization and we also found several accounts of what they'd done to Quatre while he was in their custody."

Trowa really didn't want to hear any of it, but he didn't have any choice in the matter. It almost seemed like it was his responsibility to find out. He looked toward Heero who was leaning against the wall behind him, asking the silent question of whether he should hear it or not. Heero nodded once and that seemed to assure him that it wouldn't be that bad. Wufei did the same.

"Hell, I want to know exactly what happened," Duo voiced quite loudly as he continued to knead Trowa's back. The crowd of spectators thought him inconsiderate for deciding without Trowa's consent, but Trowa understood that it was Duo's way of showing his support. Receiving an affirmative from all of them, Trowa nodded.

"They purposely induced memory loss," Sally explained. Her hand disappeared under the table where Wufei's seemed to be as well. "Ms. Barton herself had been studying stress-induced memory loss. By keeping Quatre constantly sick, they were able to force his body into high alert regularly. Unfortunately, in this case, the body tries to cope, but the brain overworks itself trying to keep up with the demands. Neuronal damage resulted and that would explain Quatre's current state."

"Dr. Marion, the doctor we confirmed to have attended to him, was discovered to have prescribed simple but harmful enough strains of bacteria and virus that kept him constantly sick. A few other more serious complications developed over time including ulcer and the deterioration of his memory."

"And somehow, this was all meant to piss Trowa off," Duo concluded, stopping in his ministrations before grabbing an empty seat. He shoved the wheeled chair toward Heero before seating himself down on an unoccupied seat.

"Then it was not the physical blow to his head? I noticed a scar somewhere around the back of his head," Trowa inquired, unable to comprehend how anyone could come up with such a thought-out way to destroy another. It may have sounded vicious, but it was brilliant.

"One hit to the head alone, in most cases, may not be enough to cause memory loss," Noin interjected, eager and ready as she explained her discovery. "The injury to his head was probably acquired during his initial abduction. There were, after all, traces of blood on the grounds he was last seen in."

"How about the injury to his lower abdomen?" Trowa asked next.

"Didn't he acquire that during the war, the stab from a sword?"

"No, this one is longer, extending from his frontal midsection all the way to his back," Trowa responded. It couldn't have possibly been the same injury. He was fairly sure of how the stab Dorothy dealt looked like. It was small, almost insignificant compared to what he saw.

"I should be able to explain that," Une volunteered. "According to Ms. Barton, Quatre had forced himself out of his restraints, injuring his wrists and waist in the process. The scar in his abdomen was the only mark left from the escape because it had been the deepest."

Duo grimaced visibly, whispering something about crazy people, Heero, and passing on insane methods to Quatre. Trowa decided to ask Duo about it further when they got the time.

"How about the body parts discovered in the freezers, whose is it?"

"It's his."

Trowa frowned. His heart skipped a beat. It was certainly not the answer he was expecting because it made no sense. It also made him loose all hope. He knew Quatre was in a room down the hall. He had to be. Although they'd never explicitly stated it, they were implying that Quatre was alive.

"...Or rather, the body is a replicate of his, a clone if you will."

"A clone?"

"It was meant to trick us. It does make sense since the torso came devoid of any organs. There were no lungs, heart, kidney, or anything else. At first we assumed they were removed to make way for the tapes stowed inside the body cavity, but the body was too clean. As you probably heard, the cloning of organs has been virtually impossible, but it's possible to clone body parts as we do to replace amputated limbs. They managed to clone a few body parts, but they were unable to replicate his body in its entirety. They also failed to replicate his torso perfectly, causing a slight malformation in the places where the organs should have been."

Trowa sighed audibly, sagging all of a sudden so that his shoulders slumped and his head dropped down. With the confirmation that the discovered body was nothing more than a replicate, Trowa was sure that they had Quatre back with them. It was him and no one else.

"Now that's what I call better news," Duo said, dropping his head flat on the table. A dull thud was the only indication that the action must have hurt, but Duo didn't whine about it. "Does anybody else need to say something important?" he asked, waving his hand above his still down turned face. "Because if there isn't any more you'd like to tell us, I'd like to spend a little private time with the boys."

Satisfied as he was with all the information that had poured out of the responsible parties after so long, Trowa nodded, indicating that they could all leave. He watched as they filed out of the room one by one, most of the people he didn't know offering looks of sympathy. He responded to each one with a sincere nod. They may not have known him well, but they must have worked with Quatre at some point in time.

Both Noin and Sally hugged him instead, silently offering him comfort while asking forgiveness for not telling him about the secret operation sooner. Trowa knew it wasn't their fault. He knew they were following Quatre's orders and that was enough. They stayed true to him and that in itself was a very genuine act of friendship. He thanked them in return before watching the rest of the people leave.

Une was the last to stand, looking like she was unwilling to face him. Trowa sensed a bit of guilt and apprehension coming from her. It made him think back to their earlier discussion. It was then that he remembered that she had purposely cut off Noin's narration. She must have had something to hide.

"They were after Marimeia," Trowa whispered, as if hit with a sudden realization. "They wanted to use her," he continued, fairly sure that Une was only a few steps away from him.

"She's just a child," his superior answered automatically, almost defensively.

"You gave me away so they would leave her alone," Trowa concluded, testing the feel of the argument in his head. He was fairly sure that he hit the right spot. "But Quatre found out and he took matters into his own hands."

"Wouldn't you have done the same if you were in my position?" Une said quietly, her emotions radiating off her so strongly that Trowa knew she was just as shaken as he was.

"Yes, I probably would have," Trowa responded, looking up. The fierce eyes he knew too well were gone, replaced by a look of remorse and sadness that was too hard to ignore. "But know this, Quatre is my life," he continued.

"I'm so sorry," Une said as she looked away from him, leaving the room slowly as if allowing him time to stop her, but Trowa never did. He merely leaned back on his seat, closing his weary eyes. Not a few moments later, he heard the sounds of sobbing which forced him to look around.

"Duo," Trowa could only say as his eyes landed on the form of his friend, Quatre's long-time partner in crime. Duo sobbed hysterically. His face remained hidden from view, his arms tucked under eyes that refused to show his version of misery. "...so damn crazy," Duo kept on repeating as he continued to bawl.

Trowa did not know why the tears finally fell only after years of hopelessness. It must have been the feeling of relief. It must have been the effect of the one good news they were waiting for all that time. Trowa chanced a look behind him to find that Heero, although silent, was tearing up too. Wufei was no different.

"But so damn alive," he heard Duo suddenly say and that was when they surrounded him, suffocating him in their powerful embrace.


	24. Part Twenty Four

**Memento (Part Twenty-Four)**

A ruckus was the last thing anyone would have suspected from a critical unit room of the Preventer facility. For one, the person in critical condition lying on the bed was blissfully unconscious as his bed shifted every which way, the sheets once neatly arranged now in disarray. Music was blasting from a boom box that had been plugged in at the other end of the room, thankfully out of reach of the rather fragile medical equipment. Although the tubes connected to skinny arms were intact, the patient himself looked like he'd partied all night. His bedmate for the time being was moving around with the beat of the music, a beer can in one hand and a half-eaten hotdog on the other. If Trowa didn't know any better, he probably would have believed that Quatre had woken up and partied with Duo until he passed out.

"Don't you know what 'let him get some rest' means?"

"On the contrary Mr. Barton, your hubby over here had the 'this is so damn boring' sign plastered all over his face. I couldn't just let him go ahead and suffer through the boring beeps that come out of that blasted machine every second and a half."

Trowa looked pointedly at the beer can in Duo's hand as it shook with his movements. A few drops escaped the can to drop almost unnoticeably on the comforter Trowa had purposely brought for Quatre. Duo, alarmed that he'd forgotten to hide the evidence, put the beer can behind his back and looked at him sheepishly.

"Oops?"

"You're paying for dry clean," Trowa said, picking up a couple of empty candy wrappers on the floor. He would have said that Duo was unbelievable but thought otherwise. Strangely enough, the scene was more believable than anything else he could have imagined. Despite the clearly written sign that read Intensive Care Unit on the entrance to the closed off section, Quatre's room felt anything but intensive.

"Aww, and here I thought that the first thing you would notice was the 'I want to get laid' sign plastered on Quat's face," Duo said, shoving the rest of the unfinished hotdog into his mouth. Trowa couldn't fathom how it could fit into the tiny looking mouth and shook his head in disbelief.

"He obviously won't get laid with the way this is going since I don't do spectators," Trowa answered, choosing that moment to turn off the music. Screaming was not his forte and he doubted the other inhabitants of the closed off section would appreciate the ruckus.

"Could I at least get a video? Hilde wants at least one picture of you completely naked."

"Perverts," Trowa muttered, picking up a stray pillow and throwing it in the direction of Duo's head. Duo, prepared of what was to come, ducked and shoved the pillow far away from Quatre's slumbering form.

"What, you want me out of here right away?" Duo asked, quickly drinking up the rest of his beer and aiming for the already overflowing trash bin. The can tittered on the edge of the bin before successfully leaning itself against the rest of the trash. One wrong move and it would surely tip over and fall.

"Catherine's coming to visit."

"Ah, I see the sister-in-law wants to take a look at this bony but damn sexy thing over here," Duo said, pointing at the unmoving patient who had his hair flying in all directions. His bedclothes were also in disarray making it look as if he spent the night rolling around in his sleep, which he didn't - of that, Trowa was sure.

"Out."

With one word, Trowa had successfully evicted Quatre's sulking companion so that he was now left to clean up the mess. He sighed, knowing that it was inevitable. Quatre's room felt like home. He himself had inhabited the place, taking refuge in the same bed Quatre occupied. He'd requested a large enough one for that purpose. While it was not recommended, it was most certainly pleasant. Besides, he was not about to kick Quatre in his sleep or displace any of the tubing connected to him. He was careful of his movements even if he did getcuddly at times. No one knew and he would keep it that way.

"What is this, a frat house?" was the disapproving tone that came from the slowly opening door. Catherine shook her head, picking up a few pieces of trash that had unwittingly escaped the disturbing mountain of mess that was the trash bin. "You didn't invite me in here for maid service, did you?"

Trowa shook his head, ushering his sister in as he stopped her from cleaning up the mess. He would do it himself later. What was important now was that she saw Quatre for herself. The last time she had seen him was years ago, during one of her few visits. She was yet to see how he looked like now. Trowa was sure she would be surprised. He'd described him to her a couple of times, but seeing for herself was a different story.

Trowa's suspicions were confirmed when he heard his sister's shocked gasp from where she stood. With her hand to her open mouth, he could tell that she was more than surprised. He hadn't been able to keep her informed on the progression of the case. He was only able to tell her about the turn of events and Quatre's current condition only a few days ago. He knew Quatre looked awful.

"Trowa Barton, you could at least keep your hands to yourself while he's unconscious," she said unexpectedly.

Trowa raised both eyebrows, eyes widening with a mixture of shock and mortification. He had no idea that it looked to be that way from her angle. Now that he thought about it, Quatre looked helplessly molested. Duo must have made him look that way on purpose.

"No... I didn't... He's," he said, unable to explain himself. A palm met his pained expression as he groaned in relative annoyance. Duo would get his turn later. "I wasn't..."

Catherine would have none of it, eyeing him suspiciously before making Quatre more presentable. She combed his hair with her fingers and straightened out his clothing, making sure to tuck him into the covers afterwards. When she was satisfied with her work, she led Trowa to the couch at the other end of the room.

"This is the worst I've seen him," she started, glancing at Quatre before looking directly at him. She picked up his hands in the process. "How are you handling it?"

"I'm better," Trowa said casually. Over the stretch of the week, he had come to terms with what had happened. While he still worried about Quatre's condition every minute, he was more rational and more controlled, leaving behind his initial feelings of devastation. He was learning how to cope. He could say the same for the rest of his friends.

"He really does look different," Catherine said. "He looks like he's aged." It was easy to see why. The passage of time did minimal transformations. It had been the obstacles along the way that initiated the change. Quatre was more mature now, more tired than he was during his better days.

"He's skin and bones," Trowa sighed, not liking the sight but accepting it all the same.

"Tell me, how's the case moving along?"

"They've got everyone they need," Trowa said, seating himself more comfortably for what he knew would be a long narration. "He," Trowa said, pointing to the figure on the bed. "...made sure of that."

"I'm not surprised," she said, finding an unopened bag of chips and digging into it. Trowa enjoyed her light-hearted attitude, glad that someone stopped being too somber for once. It did wonders to pick up his mood. "So why an engineer?" she asked, examining one oily chip before shrugging and then placing it into her mouth.

"They needed to hide his identity," Trowa answered, not specifying who the 'they' was nor going into any detail.

"You better start giving me longer answers," she huffed, her hair bouncing with the movement. His vagueness did not deter her one bit. It never did.

"He picked the profession himself," Trowa explained, readjusting the position of his hair which had grown far too long to manage. "His abductors were forced to comply with his choice to hide the fact that he'd managed to escape and associate himself with an outsider, an engineer. Mr. Whitfield, creator of the Plow Master 200X, was that person, the same person whose facilities we inspected not too long ago. Quatre had left his clues there, making sure that the man created something memorable enough to remember him by. That would be the anatomically male mobile suit. I'm sure Duo would be more than happy to describe it to you."

Catherine raised a brow but didn't ask, nudging him to continue.

"When Quatre had stumbled upon that man, he was already loosing his memory, so much that he was unable to get himself any further. To make sure that his attempt at escape served at least some purpose, he studied with the man, learning how to hide his messages within scientific formulae that none of his captors would understand or suspect. He was seized again a week later. After that, he attempted no further escapes knowing that he was not going to be able to find his way around."

"So you mean his work..."

"Up until now, all the machines he'd been designing included manuscripts which were, in reality, hidden messages. The childish looking maps he drew, when matched with those manuscripts, served as a guide to find the people we were looking for. As I found out, every little thing he did, every detail served a purpose."

"No wonder he looks tired," she commented, grabbing an unopened can of coke from the coffee table before her. Once she'd taken her fill of the carbonated drink, she looked at Trowa with a knowing smile. "You do know that you married a brilliant man?" she said, looking again at the man on the bed. Quatre remained still, the life monitors just beside him not giving any indication that he'd heard anything.

"He's crazy," Trowa said as he leaned back on the couch. It was a consensus. Even Heero had to agree after much reluctance. "To go this far to erase his identity, to get people off my back... He doesn't even know who he is."

True, he would no longer be the politician, the businessman who owned more than anyone could imagine. Quatre would no longer be a distinguished figure, no longer be someone who led a public life that disseminated every aspect of his being and those around him. He would probably be, if he recovered any of his memories, nobody but Trowa's. Trowa allowed a selfish smirk to grace his lips. It was slightly unnerving the way things had progressed, but he could at least be happy and grateful for what Quatre had gone through for him.

"Trowa, you better not be thinking what I'm thinking," Catherine said, hitting the back of his head in the process. As it was, she was always able to read his mind, or at least part of it. Used to being scolded, Trowa simply returned her warning look with a look of absolute innocence. "Selfish brat," she murmured.

"He kicked their ass," Trowa said, choosing a phrase from one of Duo's varied and almost generic responses. It seemed appropriate for the situation. Whose ass in particular was kicked was not specified. He was sure that there were angry, dubious criminals blaming Quatre for not being able to get their revenge on him. He was sure that there were annoyed reporters unable to follow the young businessman around trying to discover who that married, odd-haired fellow was that he was always with. But most of all, he was sure that the woman who had claimed to be a member of the Barton family was satisfied with her demise.

Strangely enough, Lara Sedgwick (her true name he later found out) wasn't angry, only downtrodden as she admitted to being defeated by a formidable enemy. She still despised Trowa, believed she was a Barton, and was prone to bouts of hysteria that no specialist could confirm what her ailment was. Trowa had inkling that it had something to do with the war as was usually the case. The disillusioned could do nothing but reject the reality forced upon them. He himself had almost been on the brink of insanity but had been mercifully spared by one of the most peculiar methods available. He got married.

"Is he going to get any better?" Catherine asked quite bravely. She must have known it was a touchy subject but inquired anyway. From anyone's vantage point, Quatre looked too sick to recover.

"Lara, the supposed best friend I've told you about, told us that there's still hope," Trowa answered reluctantly. He kept on forgetting that she still did have some use when she wasn't nearly possessed by her demons.

"I see. The woman you were jealous of."

Trowa frowned at his sister. The topic had already been discussed before and he'd had enough of it. What made the jealousy even more prominent was the fact that she was willing to help Quatre in his state despite claiming to be his adversary. She respected him, he could tell. Quatre had somehow instilled in her a feeling of awe. She worshipped him in her own, demented way.

"She's a doctor," Trowa added, making it clear that it was the only reason why he trusted her. At that stage in Quatre's illness, any help was welcomed.

"I've never heard of a cure." Catherine blinkedat him, her silent question obvious from the way she was looking at him. 'I don't think he's going to get better' was her unwelcome and unspoken theory.

"There are two ways," Trowa said, standing up so that he was standing beside Quatre. His husband's sunken eyes did not respond to his touch nor did his skin acknowledge that another's was caressing it. "It's either a brain tissue transplant or something they call GDNF." (1)

Several specialists, including Lara, had explained it to him repeatedly, but no matter how many times he tried to grasp the concept, only the words behind GDNF stayed in his mind. "Glial cell-derived neurotrophic factor," he said, certain that he was saying it correctly even when he didn't know what it meant. "Doesn't that sound promising?" he said with a snort.

"I should hope so if it's the only way to get him better."

"He will," Trowa said with certainty, tracing his fingers along Quatre's jaw. "He's had everything planned from the start. I'm sure he won't just give up now when it's almost over." And it was; he assured himself of that. "Do you mind if I leave you for a few hours?" he said, looking at Catherine for her confirmation. There were still some things he'd had left to do.

"Of course, as long as you have someone explain the rest to me," she said, not too discreetly implying that Trowa was near incapable of long explanations.

"Duo would be more than happy."

Relinquishing his hold on Quatre, Trowa moved back to his sister to place a quick peck on her cheek before he left the room. Duo, as if psychic for some reason, was already at the door, entering it as he exited. Trowa pointed his thumb toward his overly enthusiastic friend, indicating that Heero should watch over Quatre while the two talked. Heero nodded in his direction, their unspoken exchange finished just as quickly as it started. Trowa headed out of the Preventer facilities with only one destination in mind.

The strong winds blew Trowa's hair in all directions as he hurried in his steps toward the piece of land he'd yet to visit. Dry leaves in the shade of light yellows, deep orange, and striking reds rushed passed him to an unknown destination. Sand and dirt followed in their wake, forcing Trowa to shield his eyes from their onslaught. It was a sunny day, allowing him ample daylight and encouragement to follow the hastily scribbled map on the back of a used post-in note.

Trowa shrugged his nearly flying jacket back on, zipping it up as a means of protecting the thin material from flying to a far off direction. With nothing but marble tombstones of the same size and orientation in sight, Trowa doubted that he'd be able to find his destination soon. He closed his eyes momentarily, allowing the passing wind to take all the tiny particles of debris with it.

"Left when you reach the pine tree," Trowa murmured, assessing his map again before finally landing at his destination. "Right under a cherry tree," he said, eyeing the slab of stone that looked up at him with cold, hard formality.

Quatre's grave was simple, decorated with nothing more than a few flowers whose petals all but disappeared with the call of the wind. The name Quatre Raberba Winner was carved delicately into the white marble together with two dates indicating his year of birth and year of passing. For the first time, Trowa allowed himself to examine the stone, the implications of which he could never have considered.

"Not yet," he whispered into the wind, sitting down on the dry grass before looking at the simplistic reminder of what could have been. Back then he had refused to attend the funeral set up to announce the passing ofa public figure. Thousands of mourners had attended, the event even broadcast on live television. He, however, did not take part in any of it, choosing not to involve himself in the ritualistic ceremony that he believed was a lie. In truth, this had been the first time he'd visited.

After much deliberation and consultation with the Preventer organization, the discovered body parts had been buried under the same grave. It gave the pretense that Quatre, or at least his public image, was no more. In a way, it had allowed him to let go and to look forward to the challenges ahead.

Trowa touched the grass before the grave, noting how the blades of green remained healthy despite the coming of autumn. It swayed with the wind, tickling his fingers so that he was reminded of why he had come in the first place. Digging his fingers deep into the soil, Trowa picked up handfuls of dirt, unmindful of the granules that got in between his fingernails. The motion was repeated again and again until his fingers felt a familiar object within its reach.

The box Trowa had requested his friends to hide within the grave was a small, ordinary object covered in black with a thin lining of gold. To whoever might have discovered it, it would look nothing more than a lost of no value.

"Still here I see," Trowa whispered as he opened up the tiny box. Inside the folds of satin lay a simple, gold ring similar to his own. The only difference was that this one had a gold chain looped through the center. Unpolished and still crusted with some blood, the ring's shiny areas sparkled in the sun's rays as if it was only yesterday that the owner had taken it off.

"I see that you've found it."

Startled at the sudden appearance of thevoice just behind him, Trowa looked up to find Wufei looking down at him. Dressed in casual clothing and a thick jacket, Wufei looked very much like the seasoned visitor who knew what the weather was going to be like. Trowa suspected that he'd visited enough times to be familiar with the temperamental weather in the area.

"I'm sorry to disturb you," Wufei said, looking hesitant to intrude on what looked like a private moment. "I was on my way here so Heero wanted me to check on you just to make sure you didn't get lost."

Trowa, more comfortable somehow that someone else was with him, nodded in understanding.

"I thought it appropriate to retrieve this now," Trowa said, his tone of voice signaling to the other that he should join him. "It looks exactly the same as the last time I saw it."

Wufei sat cross-legged next to him, examining the ring hanging on the golden chain as the light continued to dance around the shiny surfaces.

"The operation is tomorrow," Wufei said. He was sure Trowa was aware, but the statement seemed appropriate somehow.

Trowa nodded as he put his raised hands down into his lap, the chain resting itself on his thigh. The wind continued to blow mercilessly, forcing the thick fall of hair to plaster itself all over his face. Trowa turned to face Wufei, allowing the wind to blow his hair away from his face and giving his companion a good view of his unshielded face.

"He won't remember who you are," Wufei continued, the meaning of the statement not deterring him from what he had to say. "Are you willing to take the chance?"

With the operation ensuring a very low success rate, Trowa knew that they were taking a gamble. Whichever of the two procedures he had to choose from had never been done before. It was a matter of waiting out Quatre's illness until he passed or putting him through the risky procedure that could shorten his life even further.

"He planned it this way," Trowa said, firmly believing that Quatre would fulfill his mission to the very end, especially now that it had gone this far. It was apparent that Quatre's body and mind continually fought for him, so much that even when unconscious, he still resisted the pull of his illness.

"He won't remember you," Wufei repeated again, looking directly at him with bottomless black eyes that served as a mask to what he must have been thinking. "It won't be the same. He may find somebody else."

Looking down on the chain on his lap, Trowa sighed, knowing very well what Wufei was trying to tell him. While he was grateful for the honesty, he did not like becoming suddenly aware of the brutal truth. He had hoped that it wasn't going to be the case, but there were just some things he had no control over. Quatre would be a different person when he woke up. What was once his was no longer guaranteed to be his forever.

"It must hurt," Wufei said, facing away from him as he faced the direction of the wind. Stray hairs conveniently blew out of his face, but his expression was hidden from Trowa's view. "Remembering someone dear will ensure that they continue to live in your memory. Great people are considered immortal not because they breathe forever but because they continue to survive in people's minds. Don't you notice how the great artists and philosophers continue to live forever? My wife, she is still alive if only in my mind."

Trowa looked up, surprised that Wufei was discussing with him a topic he'd always refused to talk about. He knew the other was trying to help him understand, to help him get through the grief and it was with appreciation that he continued to listen.

"It must hurt more than anything to find the memory of you erased from him. It's almost tantamount to loosing part of yourself, the part of yourself you shared with him. Part of you died when he forgot."

Trowa stared off into the distance, finding comfort in the words he could not express himself. He remembered the feeling of selfishness, the feeling of wanting only the Quatre who knew him and not the one who had forgotten. After all, he had to continued to remember even when his other half didn't.

"And he still won't remember when he wakes up," Wufei continued, standing up and not making a move to face him. "I trust that you will give him time to adjust. With time, he will find you."

They were such strong, absolute words with not a hint of doubt in them. Trowa could not help but feel more confident, the initial anxiety of looking forward to the worst gone from his mind. He looked up, intending to thank the more reclusive and wiser of his comrades only to find that he was already gone, walking off to the cemetery's parking lot.

"I'll keep that in mind," Trowa murmured to the strong winds. He placed his retrieved treasure into his pockets and restored what he had dug before walking off to the parking lot. Tomorrow was the start of another struggle and strangely enough, he welcomed it.

(1) Dementia, much like Alzheimer's disease, has no cure. The two suggested procedures are only speculation at this time.


	25. Part Twenty Five

**Memento (Part Twenty-Five)**

The hours between twelve midnight and five in the morning were never his favorite time periods. Ideally, he would be fast asleep dreaming about various things he won't remember in the morning, but that was a different morning. That morning was one of the few mornings in the year he was required to be up and running, preparing himself to face another boring day guarding politicians and ensuring that there would be no strife in the fairly young world of peace.

"No. He is an invalid and therefore will not be capable of handling such a high profile operation such as this one. He stays."

Frustrated and very cranky from his lack of sleep, Trowa chose to hum some distant tune in his head to stop himself from loosing it. At four am, after consuming numerous cups of tea and finishing off the office's supply of honey, Trowa still found himself unable to function properly.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

Trowa watched the proceedings with little interest. Duo and Heero were currently having an argument with the head of operations. He grimaced, realizing that the guy who replaced Une was a little too difficult to deal with. Being a military general from the time of war, the man was too strict about everything, including the combative preparedness of his troops as he called them.

"Look at that," General Schwarzkopf, their boss for over a year, said, pointing to the other side of the protective glass where Quatre was drawing something with crayons and a ruler. "He is an invalid!"

Trowa winced, not liking at all how that sounded. True, Quatre came out a little worse for wear after the series of operations he went through. After his seventh and final operation just eight months back, he experienced a few difficulties. For one, his eyesight was bad and required the use of glasses. He was also unable to count, identify certain objects, understand simple phrases, and remember familiar names. At one point he'd been declared mentally unfit to function on his own.

"Will you stop saying that word," Duo screamed, unmindful that it was his very muscular, very intimidating boss he was screaming at. The guy could probably crush him with one arm.

"He was born to do this," Heero spoke up before Duo could say anything more. Being the least aggravated by the situation, he pushed Duo into a seat and walked up to within inches of the former general. "He's proven it twice already."

"Yes, with rodents and insects," their boss said, murmuring thoughtfully as he stood before the glass. He watched Quatre lick his lips while drawing a line on the piece of artwork he'd been working on since they arrived a little before three am.

Trowa watched Une's replacement battle out reasons within himself. He was sure that after Quatre's display just a few days ago, his skill was hard to ignore. It made him smirk. To prove that Quatre was entirely capable of handling operations, the former general had assigned him to train a group of worker ants to build a nest in a specific area with specific conditions. The task had been completed in less than a week. Unable to accept that Quatre was as functional as they let him out to be, he assigned another task where a group of 12 mice were required to defend themselves from 2 very large cats.

"Those cats are scared shitless now, aren't they?" Duo said out loud before laughing it off, hitting Wufei's back hard in the process.

Trowa smiled at the memory. Duo had insisted that they commission little military style outfits for the white lab mice Quatre was supposed to command. Within the end of the week, without any protests, requests or complaints, Quatre had turned once docile rodents into soldiers as the war of rats versus cats commenced. The military strategy enforced was a success and the former general was a little more than surprised to watch the display, nearly salivating at the command with which Quatre had lead the too adorable mice to victory. If only Duo didn't suggest the outfits, Quatre would have probably been taken more seriously.

"That is one fact I can't invalidate," General Schwarzkopf said, continuing to scrutinize the man on the other side of the glass. Wufei scoffed at the comment with an air of superiority.

"It is useless to try for your approval anyway. I'm sure he'll make himself a part of this operation with your full consent before the end of the hour without saying a word," he said, not waiting for anyone to follow him as he left the room. Trowa had to admit that their discussion was taking a little too long, making even him more aggravated by the minute.

"Very well," the former general said reluctantly, watching one of his more experienced men walk out. "However, I must make one last check to make sure that he will be able to function during today's operation. Be aware that despite his capabilities to command, he is still unable to perform strenuous physical activities. His life will also be in jeopardy if he is unable to defend himself."

By that time, Duo was making a face behind the former general, mimicking his movements with a little less than flattering exaggeration. When Heero rolled his eyes, Trowa put a hand over his and sighed. They should have been preparing. After the long argument, he was sure they no longer had much time to plan what they were supposed to do.

Following the large man out the door, Trowa was not surprised to find Wufei already in discussion with Quatre. The quiet but serious voice of the later tickled his ears for a few moments before it was interrupted.

"Quatre," the former general tried to get his attention, talking to him as if he were a five year old being prepped for a visit to the dentist. "I just wanted to make sure that you were comfortable going with these _nice_ men to work on a _very_ important mission."

Trowa rolled his eyes before watching Quatre react to the infantile and very insulting display. Quatre nodded once, his face blank and lips in a thin line as he looked back down at whatever it was he was drawing. His glasses slipped down a few centimeters before he used his middle finger to adjust its position. Trowa wondered if he was subtly giving their superior the finger.

"Now what are you drawing there? May I see?" their boss inquired, continuing to speak in that same tone of voice that had Duo ready to sic the dogs on him.

Quatre looked up, hesitating for a moment before pushing his work forward for the man to inspect. Trowa's eyes widened as he recognized what Quatre had been doing while they were arguing in the next room over.

"It's _very_ nice, but I don't think I like abstract art that much."

"Oh for the love of God," Duo exclaimed, shoving the man's face to the blueprints taped to the other end of the wall. "That thing you call abstract art is the plan for operations later today. It's the surrounding area of the Loyola convention center and those blue dots are the primal locations where snipers could position themselves."

General Schwarzkopf blinked before straightening up and immediately stopping his foolish treatment of an obvious equal if not superior.

"Very well then," he said in a gruff voice. "He may come, but there is still the issue of his physical incapability. I don't care if he's been going to physical therapy. He's still a scrawny kid. Make sure he doesn't become a hindrance to operations. You may carry on, men," he said, facing the other direction and stiffly walking out the door. Duo could not help but laugh.

"Man, that is one very annoying creep," Duo said, pulling up a chair and positioning himself across Quatre. "Ignore him. You're more than capable, Quat. Just do your thing."

Quatre nodded once. It seemed the only reaction he was capable of doing as he picked up a green crayon and continued drawing. That gave Trowa a full view of his head, which looked like a map with a zigzag of stitches littered everywhere. It wasn't very attractive but it wasn't hideous either. It just looked unique, like a tattoo rendered on alabaster canvas. His head was starting to grow hair albeit not very much. Duo had considered the crew cut he now sported a desecration of all that was thick and healthy. To Trowa, it was just a phase.

"Winner," Wufei's voice boomed all of a sudden from the background, jerking Trowa out of his concentration on Quatre's head. "It's about time we talk to you about combat," he said, pulling up a chair next to Quatre. Quatre was forced to let go of the crayon he had in his hand.

"Yes, Sally's bitch," he said with so much intensity that it was very hard to tell if he was kidding. Duo snickered.

"Er," Wufei faltered, finding the dead serious look on Quatre's face a little more than disturbing. "Idiots like these," he said, pointing towards Duo. "They only use muscle to defend themselves."

"Hey!"

"You, however, are not an idiot and are obviously incapable of using muscle at the moment. We have all agreed on a compromise. This should be enough to get you through the day," he concluded, handing Quatre a taser gun. It was not very imaginative, but no matter how simple the device looked, they were sure Quatre could do something useful with it.

Quatre retrieved the offered gift, nodded once, and then continued working. Meanwhile, Wufei and Duo argued about the name tag that Duo secretly replaced while he wasn't looking. Trowa looked down at his own to double check and was thankful that it still had the words 'zero-three' on it.

"You're nervous," he heard Heero say upon looking back up. His comrade had his hand on Quatre's, stilling the other's movements. Trowa hadn't even noticed Heero take the seat on the spot next to Quatre. The blonde refused to let go of the crayon and looked intently at his restrained hand. He nodded once. The exchange caught the dueling pair's attention, enough to stop them from bickering.

"You sure you want to do this?" Heero asked gently, letting go of Quatre's hand. Quatre nodded again, pointing to his drawing with a colorful finger. It meant that he got it covered. Trowa forced himself to understand the other's body language.

Despite the ache he felt to go ahead and touch the other, he restrained himself. Quatre was still a little wary of him and he refused to scare him away. It was too hard sometimes just watching and waiting.

"I'll just be outside," Trowa said, extricating himself from the room to relieve the tension he felt building. It was best to concentrate on other things. To do just that, he picked up his cell phone and dialed a memorized number.

"Hi sweetheart," he said dotingly as another's face came into view on the other end of the screen.

oOo

"Zero-three, Walta will be coming out from an alternate exit. Proceed five paces from your position. Go vertical."

"Affirmative," Trowa said into his mouthpiece, easily jumping up and landing on a narrow ledge while his hands remained in his pockets. He walked another few steps before jumping again to the next level, each level traveled one at a time until he was standing at the right spot.

"Control, I think I'm closer to the position," he heard Duo say. Trowa was still unused to Quatre's new codename and almost stumbled forward when he heard it. For as long as he knew, Quatre was always zero-four and to hear otherwise was confusing. 'Control' had been chosen both so Quatre could remember the codename easily and to prevent him from being forced into the position of his old self. Forcing him to remember, to all of them, was a grave sin.

"Zero-two, your position may be closer, but this is under zero-three's territory. Remain at your position. The man behind Walta will be targeted as well."

Trowa waited for further instructions. He stood still, getting bored by the minute before hearing two shots being fired. It could only have meant that one of them was being targeted. Unable to stay still, Trowa jumped one level down. He hoped that it wasn't what he thought it was.

"What the hell? Who got hit?" he heard Duo say, confirming that he was alive and well. That left three others. Trowa hesitated, waiting a few more seconds just in case the endangered party already had it covered.

"This is control. The shots came from my position. Two men are down. Maintain your positions."

Sighing in relief, Trowa jumped back up his former position, almost tipping over as he landed. He grabbed the closest wall he could find before making a sound that told everyone of his frustration. He hated feeling worried every five minutes. Quatre was capable. He was sure, but it didn't mean that he could keep his concentration focused solely on the job.

"Calm down, zero-three," Quatre's voice filtered through the earpiece, the gentle baritone soothing his nerves. "You will see her soon enough."

Trowa nodded although nobody could see his affirmative. Quatre's voice was calm, assuring him that it was all he needed to hear. With renewed concentration, Trowa looked far into the distance and spotted his guy.

"Sally's bitch, take over zero-three's G1 area."

"It's zero-five, damn it!" he heard Wufei hiss. All in all, what started as a very boring operation turned out to be quite entertaining.

oOo

Dressed in loose jeans and a well-worn shirt, Trowa made his way to the inside of Duo's house, every once in a while looking here and there, scrutinizing every corner of his friend's abode. Walking with purpose, he slowly inched into a nearby table before quickly looking under. There was nobody there.

"Isn't it a little late to be playing hide and seek?" Hilde greeted him as she exited the kitchen. On her hand was a glass of orange juice and a very large cookie.

"I was just looking for someone," Trowa answered before he looked behind him only to find nobody there.

"Well you aren't going to find her," Duo quipped, also coming out of the kitchen with half a glass of milk and what looked to be ten cookies crammed into his mouth. "She doesn't want to see you right now," he continued after chewing and effectively swallowing the cookies. "You might as well sit down, Tro and I'll do my best to entertain you."

Hilde, after dropping a quick peck on Duo's cheek and a friendly wave in Trowa's direction, left them to talk. Trowa snorted at Duo's comment but sat down anyway. Taking in his friend's appearance, it was obvious that he was planning to lounge around for the rest of the night. It didn't seem to matter that he was there and that Wufei and Heero were going to show up later that night. He was dressed for bed.

"Whatever happened to the 'not spoiling your dinner' rule?"

"In this house, we'll spoil you with whatever you want," Duo responded, winking Trowa's way. "So, you think Wufei will forgive me for having Quatre call him Sally's bitch all day?"

"I doubt it," Trowa answered, nearly laughing at the memory. It surely made the rest of the day worthwhile. "Where is Quatre anyway?" he asked casually.

Duo's smile widened at the question. He put his glass down before leaning into him and whispering.

"So you want to hook up with my boy?" Duo said, winking his way and acting like it was some big secret.

Trowa leaned back on his seat, pulling away from Duo's inquisitive look that spelled trouble. Ever since Quatre had been released from the hospital, Duo and Hilde had become his legal guardians. Despite being an adult, Quatre was considered unable to take care of himself. Trowa would have jumped at the chance to take him in, but his conscience told him to do the right thing. Duo had an extra room and Duo had no history with him, so Duo was the best choice. The distance between them would take away the pressure of forcing Quatre to remember whatever he didn't want to and would also ensure that Trowa wouldn't do anything he would regret later.

"Duo, I don't even think he likes playing the part of your son," Trowa replied, giving his friend a strange look. It may have been funny the way Duo and Hilde pampered him, but he was sure Quatre felt awkward being showered with so much attention.

"Ah well, he just has to live with it, doesn't he?" he said. Duo then deposited his bare legs on top of the coffee table before him. That was when Trowa noticed two tiny hands appear from underneath Duo's seat.

"Young lady, you better come out of there this instant," Trowa said with a warning tone. Not more than a few seconds later, a tiny body leaped up to deposit itself into his awaiting arms.

"Daddy!" the little girl cried, circling her arms around his neck and nearly smothering him with her hair. "You're late," she reprimanded, gripping Trowa's neck even stronger.

"Don't try to kill daddy now, love," Trowa said gently, trying to remove the near death grip the little girl had on him.

"Ah, and here I thought I could steal her away from you," Duo said very dramatically, putting a hand over his heart. "Now I only have one son and no daughter."

"Quatre's not your son," Trowa reminded him again before he held his daughter at arm's length and looked at her. She was wearing a dainty pink dress Catherine had given her during her last visit. Dark brown curls came down from either side of her head held together by equally pink ribbons that matched the slight pink in her cheeks. Big, dark green eyes looked back at him with mirth and true love. How he loved the way she always looked at him.

"Whatever works for you," Duo said, signaling for him to let the kid go play somewhere. He looked like he wanted to discuss something important.

"Isabel, daddy has to talk to uncle Duo for a little while," was all he said before she smacked him with a sloppy, wet kiss and bounded to some unknown corner of Duo's house.

"Quite the kid you got Tro," Duo said, thrusting a thumb out at the retreating girl.

"Yeah, too bad Quatre's not interested in children," Trowa muttered, choosing to look at his shoes. Now that he had two loves in his life, it was difficult to make sure one loved the other. He would be devastated if they didn't get along.

"You've got to be kidding me," Duo said, blinking in his direction. "What made you think that?"

"Duo, Quatre doesn't even talk to her," Trowa said, feeling a headache coming on. He'd adopted Isabel a year ago and had come to love her, but found it strange and disappointing that Quatre didn't seem interested when she was around.

"You obviously don't know what's going on while you're not around," Duo said as he laughed good-naturedly. "Quatre doesn't talk to anyone -- well, except maybe Heero and just a wee bit to Wufei. You know how he's been these past few months, all seriousness and no fun. It doesn't help either that he's always staring at that blasted laptop Heero gave him, which brings me to what I wanted to talk about. The guy needs to get laid."

Trowa would have sputtered if he could.

"Excuse me?"

"Tro, when are you going to make the move? I know he's been untouchable and all, but Quat's been looking lonelier everyday. You know I can't stand when he's lonely."

"Neither can I, Duo," Trowa sighed.

"What, so you're not going to do anything about that? Geez, it's about time you courted the guy. It's not like you haven't done it before."

"I haven't."

"What? You lazy ass! All this time we believed you did all the work. Don't tell me you had him run that company and come woo you at the same time."

"I did."

Duo looked about ready to burst. Trowa could not tell if it was because of his scripted responses or because of his lack of a more emphatic reaction.

"He was inquiring about you the other day," Duo started again after letting out a very loud sigh.

"Oh?" Trowa said. His interest was piqued. For the longest time, he couldn't tell if Quatre was interested in him. All the reaction he ever got out of the other was a blank expression and a formal nod.

"He wanted to know what kind of guys you were into. He figured you were gay and all. I said he liked blondes - blondes with thick, fluffy hair."

"Thank you very much, Duo. I'm sure he appreciates the tip... considering that he's practically bald."

"Damn it Trowa! That's not the point. At least talk to him once. You guys are like strangers. It's creeping me out."

"We _are_ strangers."

"Shut the hell up and do as I tell you before I haul your ass to him!"

"Fine, fine," Trowa said. He got up from his chair and walked toward the room he knew to be Quatre's. That was, before he was hit in the head with a stray slipper.

"God damn it! He's up on the roof!" Duo said, removing his other slipper before threatening to take Trowa down with it. "You know he's always on the roof!"

Trowa concluded then that he really loved riling Duo. He'd been meaning to talk to Quatre before he left, but since he was being forced, he knew now was as good a time as any. Walking up the steps to the flat, expansive roof atop Duo's house, Trowa was surprised to hear a familiar voice talking softly to someone. He decided to take a peek.

"The ribbons are going to keep coming off if you pull at them," Quatre said, almost whispering as he adjusted the pink decorations on Isabel's head. His open laptop was beside his sitting form and he had a five year old sitting on his lap. "Try to make sure you keep them on this time." His face was as blank as always but his eyes looked adoringly at her.

"Mmkay," Isabel answered while chewing on the curls of hair she could grasp and tugging at her dress. She shifted from side to side as Quatre continued to arrange her hair in a semblance of normalcy. To Trowa, it was the perfect picture.

"There, that should do," Quatre said when he finished. He pulled the girl's hands from her mouth to reveal two rings attached to a necklace. "Don't swallow, ok," he instructed, allowing her to run off to whatever place she desired.

Isabel, seeing that her father was waiting by the ladder, ran up to him, almost knocking him two stories down. Luckily, Trowa had anticipated the move and held a death grip on the railings attached to the structure.

"You were spying on us," she accused, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Yes I was," Trowa admitted. It was hard to lie to her, even when Quatre was witness to his response. He swung her to the other side, balancing her on his hip before descending the ladder. It was best to take her somewhere safe for the time being. He was intending to take her to bed when he was caught off guard as she whispered something into his ear.

"Are we taking daddy home yet?" she asked. She obviously did not care that she was calling two different people 'daddy'.

Trowa blinked before shushing her.

"What did I say about talking that way around him?" he said, looking up to make sure that Quatre wasn't following them down. When he was satisfied, he continued his descent down the ladder. "You don't call him daddy, do you?" he double checked.

"Nah, he's uncle Quatre for now," she answered, leaning into him and depositing her head into his shoulder. "He misses you," she yawned before falling dead asleep on him. Trowa wondered if she knew what she was talking about.

After handing her over to who he hoped were responsible individuals, Trowa made his way back up the roof. Quatre was still there, but this time he seemed to be preoccupied with whatever it was on his computer screen. Disappointed, Trowa made his way down before he was stopped by that same voice he loved hearing.

"You have a beautiful daughter," Quatre said, continuing to type up something in his laptop, never making a move to look anywhere but at the screen.

"Yeah," Trowa answered absently. Taking the small talk as an invitation, he climbed up the rest of the way to join his former husband. He sat himself next to him, making sure that they were a safe distance apart. From his angle, he could see that Quatre was taking cognitive exercises probably meant to accelerate his progress.

"Do you find me repulsive?" Quatre started again after Trowa had made himself comfortable.

"Of course not," Trowa answered quickly. He made no move to extrapolate on his argument.

"That's a relief," Quatre said evenly with no inflection in his speech whatsoever. He didn't look very relieved at all, only detached as his hands moved clumsily over various keys.

"That's not relief I sense," Trowa said, frowning. He imagined that it was just as difficult to talk to him. It wasn't such an appealing idea that Quatre was becoming an extreme version of him.

"What do you want me to do, Trowa?" Quatre whispered all of a sudden, stilling his movements. His eyes fell. His head bowed. He looked like he'd been bullied by a mean kid. Trowa felt alarmed.

"I didn't mean..."

Amidst his frantic need to explain himself, Trowa stopped abruptly, closing his eyes. He froze, feeling a familiar, delicate hand against his cold cheek. Caught in a situation he never imagined could happen so soon, Trowa allowed Quatre to do as he wished.

Long, thin fingers traced his jaw before they ghosted over the side of his neck. Trowa shivered, feeling those nimble digits make their way down to land at the back of his neck. Not very long after, his lips were delivered a chaste kiss that barely lasted long enough before those same fingers weaved through his hair. Just as quickly, the contact ended. Trowa blinked his eyes open.

"Wha...?" he said, disappointed at the loss. Quatre was again working on his laptop. It was almost too cruel.

"That should keep you coming back for more," Quatre said in the same, aloof manner he spoke with. That was when Trowa realized that he'd just been manipulated. "I suppose dinner with me tomorrow night is in order. I've made reservations. This will be all you will need."

Trowa took the slip of paper Quatre handed to him, realizing that it contained the name of the restaurant, the time they were meeting, what to wear, where to leave his daughter, and directions to the place.

"This last paycheck should be enough to cover that," Quatre murmured, not displaying an ounce of the surprise and awkward embarrassment Trowa was feeling. In fact, he looked very calculating. All that time Quatre had just been waiting to earn enough money to take him out? Not for the first time, Trowa was unnerved with the way Quatre worked. He'd surely been planning it for a long time.

"O...kay," Trowa said carefully, feeling the need to remove himself from the situation. He felt like some giddy, self-conscious school girl who'd just been asked out on a date by her crush. He stood up, leaving as fast as he could while trying to look dignified. When he was almost out of Quatre's range of sight, he was stopped in his tracks.

"Will you wait for me?" Quatre said looking at him with the same look of true love he'd recognized from his daughter. That was when he confirmed that Quatre did somehow remember him.

"Of course," Trowa answered, smiling genuinely with all the heartfelt devotion he could express.

For Quatre, he would wait forever.

End.


End file.
